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ORLANDO?

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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
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itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
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global news matrix
break for news
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neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




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3Hive
metafilter
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REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
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AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
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hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
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something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
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Unconscious Mutterings
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PO BOX 780398
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send me some music
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let your message come through
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-01-10 - 8:56 a.m.

expect nothing, get everything...


I suppose I picked a fine time to dig deep into the nature of my work and my philosophical and concrete opinions on the field... too much information, perhaps, is detrimental to the slow and gradual process of getting to know, not to mention mental health...

and this being National De-Lurker's Week...

no worries... I completely understand your reluctance to pipe in at this particular time, what with my controversial stand on world hunger, the war in Iraq, the insidious rise of fascism at a time when facism is all the rage), and various other sticky subjects...

feel free to be encouraged to be comfortable to delurk at some future date... after all, the last thing I do is follow protocol or the conventions of a calendar...

or most other rules of order...

and now, some more introductory notes (since the world is just dying to know more about me)... please do not consider this a disclaimer, contrition, or any sort of explanation... I am quite tickled (pink, even) with my ramblings of the past few days and my primary concern was that I might be misunderstood (like that time with the emu and the llama, but we don't need to discuss that now) and therein miss the opportunity to create a meaningful bond with some of you who've impressed me deeply and I'd like to adopt into my imaginary family...

shhhh, don't tell anybody that's it's only accidental genius...

sometimes, beyond my usual teasing (one of my many middle names is incorrigible) I offer information about me and my words and the words I choose to put online in my web world (no, they are not all mine, even when I do not credit the author because they seek anonymity and still seek some sort of personal feedback)...

this is one of those times...

I am not intentionally flippant, enigmatic, snarky, or even irreverent (though I have been known to be intentionally sarcastic from time to time, even that is not always intentional)... I was not in the attitude Olympics, that was another case of mistaken identity... in fact, I am not intentionally anything...

I have not actually become anything and am still pondering what I want to be when I grow up (it's a lifetime experience for someone who does not believe in growing up)... and here, behind the candoor, I do not plan my entries, I have no outline in my head when I come to the keyboard to fill the empty box on the screen with words...

what you have here is a naked writer (and contrary to the controversies that arc-angel666 is trying to stir up about illicit encounters with bovines, that's udderly ridiculous... I would never take advantage of a dumb animal... that's why I never got married... there's a gold medal somewhere in there, probably wrapped around my neck or implanted in my skull with blunt force, but as I said, I was not in the attitude Olympics)...

as I was saying, what you have here is a naked writer (and not always showing his butt, but parentheses just call out to me with an odd or amusing perspective or word-play sometimes)... this diary is where I set myself free to explore my real, my physical world, my life and experiences and thoughts and feelings... work, play, genuine human beings inspire much of what is written behind the candoor...

this is life in black and white...

the babbling might find inspiration in Dr. Seuss or Sousaphones or phonic games or Geometric patterns or paternal instincts or stinky farts or sophomoric humor or silly nonsense or Bennett Serf or surfing or Douglas Adams or another world or Stephen King or kingdom come or come of a different sort or sordid characters or character analysis or Charles Dickens or Robert Heinlein or Albert Einstein or M.C. Escher or Uncle Albert or Stephen Hawkings or Leonardo Da Vinci or Da Vinci's Code or acid flashbacks or any number of other thoughts that don't come near any of the thoughts used as examples in this paragraph...

the point is, expect nothing, get everything...

everything I think, feel, experience, remember, forget, imagine, dream of, am is freely (often randomly or haphazardly, perhaps a poignant word) tossed into the flow of words as I do what I call writing... others may call it a brain dump, free-association, channeling, fingering the keyboard, or some other descriptive phrase... it's just me pouring bits of myself and all that enters (or is created) in my head into words...

a little of everything...

sometimes a lot...

all this to say that if you ever find too much information or any subjects I ponder to be uncomfortable or offensive, feel free to skip it... I suggest that you ponder why you are uncomfortable or offended because of the following clich truth:

that which disturbs us usually has much to teach us about ourselves

but you are free to choose to read, think, feel, and do as you please and I hope that you find reason to visit again if you find any interest, comfort, or amusement in any of my other words...

use any part of your brain, or none of it if you like...

would it be rude to giggle just now?

...

dang, how can I project my offendedness when the peanut gallery keeps slipping razors into my babbling?... that was a rhetorical question... if you knew that, give yourself a piece of chocolate... unless you are allergic, in which case, give yourself a grand orgasm...

and I hope just as much as I hope that you visit again that you feel comfortable enough to let me know what you think or feel if you think or feel anything here... even when it isn't de-lurker's week...

...

Rasputin and Precious just walked in from work and school almost simultaneously and they're plopped in front of the TV and since this is one of those rare days when I am awake and they are both home around what the world considers dinner time, we just might share a meal because I love to break bread with friends... I love to eat with friends too...

so much for the intimate mood I was setting just for the two of us...

so anyway, if you read through the thousands of pages I have on line you will find some words written by me and others that are profoundly sweet and sappy and also some words that are uncomfortably controversial... everything I put on line is either me or a reflection or me or a thought I think it worth pondering that may or may not have something to do with me or a thought I adamantly disagree with or a complete fantasy...

I don't always tell you which category the words fit into because I am often seeking to explore the thought and inspire feedback, not to preach my opinion... when I give my opinion, I think you usually know it...

is it time to lighten up?...

I suppose I could be suffering from a mild case of permasnark like my long time favorite smoog, but at least I have not started twitching yet...

Please don't ask me to stop laughing,
it may be the only time I spoke all day."

somebody laughs, somebody pities, somebody consoles, somebody snarks, somebody tsks, somebody mumbles, somebody scratches their head... I won't ask you your react and I'll leave that quote as anonymous because the author will most likely influence your reaction... that is the nature of communication, personalization and projection... often they are not easy to distinguish... do I feel a certain way because of what someone said or did or because of something I think or did that relates to what was said or done?... we all project our feelings and opinions on others, but it's important to recognize that and many do not...

so much for lightening up, huh?...

let's all go collect our kiss from Moo, who, inspired by the must-be-amazing-to-deserve-such-love Gareth, shines with the greatest love of all so well that just the thought of her positive bubbly being is enough to inspire a smile that lasts all day...

...

all that was written yesterday and I fell asleep with my fingers on the keyboard and wrote this:

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

it actually went on for a few pages, before I woke and went to bed... and I woke and went to work (I think I left a comment somewhere) and then I came home and had this ginourmous thing fall out of my buttocks (actually it took a rather extensive amount of pushing, thought this may be more information than you requested) and then I read your comments and I suddenly don't feel any need for snark anymore...

ah, the wonders of moo...

that is not a confession, I mean, just because he's an angel, excuse me, an arc-angel, doesn't necessarily mean you should believe everything he says about me... especially you, smash... I will take over the world, starting with the filing cabinet, no matter what anyone does... wait... I mean... I will take over the world, starting with the filing cabinet, no matter what anyone does, not even the author (ah-ha!... fooled him... he's already been here and gone... now I can ponder the next great plan to take over the world!... yes, me and my accidental genius...

the bottom line is in the title...

more later (shhh)...

actually, not much more later... at least not at the moment... seems kind of a waste when this entry will be three or four back by now and nobody'll read this... except posterity...

posterity...

I used to write first for me, second for the one, third for friends, fourth for posterity and the rest of anyone who might read the words... I am noticing that over the course of my time here at Diaryland I am writing more and more for you guys out there and that leads me to be disappointed when you guys out there have nothing to say (or don't read at all)... of course that means I have developed expectations and that's just dumb (I seldom have expectations about anything, but expecting readership or feedback is beyond egocentric, it's just dumb)... and it sets up disappointment...

this realization that my subconscious has been doing this is a very good thing (because I'd prefer not to follow my subconscious when it's dumb)... I am happiest in this life (not just in writing) when I am secure in my expect nothing perspective... so I am going back there (which might take a bit of time since the subconscious expectations let me develop the habit and habits sometimes relapse)... but good deal reminding myself...

ultimately, that's half of the bottom line in the title... expect nothing and you will not be disappointed and more likely will be pleasantly surprised more often...

then comes the second half of the title... that relates much more to this diary and you... the fact is you get everything here... I don't hold back, I let everything that passes through my head out... I rarely filter or edit... and whether that is too much or not, it is what happens here... it is right for me...

I think that's a good philosophy and I know it is the best for me... I live, I consciously actualize as much as possible, expect nothing, give everything... I wish everybody did...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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