in black and white behind the candoor, ya know... and one of these days I just might sit down to fill in the blank spaces in the calendar here, but for now I'll just point out that I've been jabbering away over in the RealTime blog and occasionally sprinkling some of my rhymical variety (from crying out loud emo to cold hard cynical rage to fuckem if they can't take a joke irreverence, cheeeze) in other places (most notably, or at least most recently in candora and myspace and a few new places you'll just have to search for cuz I love a mystery)...

and so, we come to a night in the life... see the RealTime entry for the evening just past for the preramble for here comes the ramble... at least until the pizza shows up or the TV distracts me or Precious comes home and wants to tell me about her day or Raspy wakes up and has a joke to tell or something happens to tear me away from the literary lifeline I turn to when all the world's asleep and questions run too deep or at least there's nothing better to do...

and there are altogether too many commercials on television... how can any self-respecting ADD kid get into any show or movie when every ten minutes, or five, even, there's somebody yelling (and I mean yelling) about some brand new product or feature on some brand new car or brand new show that you just have to watch so they can stuff even more commercials down the poor kid's unsuspecting ADD brain...

ok, so there are those commercials for Girls Gone Wild that tend to get a moment or his attention now and then, but they're old and censored, which is a real turn off and reminds him of Turnervision, which is television turned out by Ted Turner, the butcher of movies and Edward Scissorhands of television...

so I find Dogma on a station that must be part of the turnervision conglomerate and sure enough, just as I'm getting into one of the character's rants, some product spokesman (and it is almost always a male voice) smears some more shit all over a fine art form, the satirical comedy with brilliant bits by most every member of the cast starting with Cardinal Glick and the Muse, who had the best ideas for reformation of the church I've heard since the stone age, or maybe Socrates or Homer Simpson...

and there's that blurry spot on Chris Rock's butt...

censorship ruins my appetite for television and humanity... but worst of all are the food commercials... over and over they shove pizza and wings and burgers and fries and spaghetti and ribs and brownies and ice cream and all sorts of junk food that adds two pounds to the body for every pound consumed (Newton was wrong and I am living proof... it was all a conspiracy by the junk food producers back in the Renaissance... they paid off Newton to cook up some phony proof about matter and energy and how it can't be created or destroyed or something... don't believe it... in fact, there's some formula involving time that proves that the volume of poundage added to a body is double the poundage of regular junk food {triple the poundage for the truly decadent stuff} and the ratio increases over time)...

just ask anyone over 30...

but I digress (of course I do, this is life in black and white behind the candoor where the babbler lives, after all)... so I await the pizza now... I know, it was hours ago that I mentioned it was time for pizza over in the RealTime blog, but stuff came up... and Dr. Who, to be precise...

and just as I was about to turn off the TV, the pizza arrived so I looked for something to watch while eating and there was the film classic made to order for the decadent meal I had before me (Sicilian Lasagna Pizza, Pepperoni Pizza, Wings, and Fries all from Pizza Hut, which is rare because it's not Donatos and given a choice I'd rather have a New York style pizza but those dang commercials for Sicilian Lasagna pizza repeated over and over for the past few weeks just sucked me in... yeah, it did take a few weeks, so that's good, right?)...

yes, I realize there was a lot more than the Lasagna pizza on that menu I ordered, but what good is will power if it's only partially on, right?... so I turned it off tonight... it's the weekend, after all...

and the verdict is...

the Lasagna pizza is fair and only cuz I am very hungry... it's just too pizza hutish... it lacks Italian seasoning and the drippiness of sauce and cheese that lasagna is famous for... it was surprisingly ungreasy... that's because the dog-food they pass off as meat topping is dried out by the time they sprinkle it on top of the cheese... they could at least try to fool us by putting the little balls of meat-stuff under the cheese and add a but more alive oil and spice to the sauce (and while they're at it, more sauce)... I even asked for extra cheese and by their standards, got it, but pizza hut cheese is not gooey drippy lasagna cheese... it just congeals too well, even piping hot (and it was... the roof of my mouth tells me so)...

the garlic salt helped, but a good entheogen might have done a whole lot better...

there, I think I've sufficiently convinced myself not to spend $33 at the Hut for another few years... except maybe if Jay and Silent Bob show up and pass me a big one, uncensored and unfiltered, but cleaned well, of course (I wonder if they have any extra d-lysergic acid diethylamide {yes, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen, the essential building blocks of life, neatly laid out as C₂₀H₂₅N₃O by good old Dr. Albert Hofmann back in 1938... ah, the good old days when drug companies were fun}, though it was some time later that someone else coined the phrase there's a fungus among us that may or not have been a private reference for others, but was for that crazy little ADD kid I mentioned a while back}, pure and stored away from light and moisture at low temperature, naturally), then maybe I'll be primed for any sort of commercial junk food shove into my psyche...

and if I buy Tag body spray, will a bunch of cute girls start stripping and throwing their hot naked bodies all over mine?...

I mean, I'm just checking...

there's Precious coming home (hey, maybe it's just the thought of Tag, aye?)... she's standing in front of me now ready to tell me about her day, so I'll be back...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)