nothing like a little furniture moving to remind a body about aching muscles... but Helena now has a new TV and DVD/VCR combo player all hooked up... she treated for dinner at the Grand Buffet, one of our favorites, and then we watched Legally Blonde 2 because she's seen everything else in the video store that she wanted to see and they were out of Pirates of the Carribean... one of her friends I've not met met us for dinner and it was nice to see a new face... but all I seem to meet are early-to-bed people so here we are again, just you, me, and the words... blame it on the funda...

what, no deep thoughts?...

ah, the superficial banter over dinner and movies can pass the time alright, but so much more I'd like find I fell in love tonight... no such luck, or fate, or kismet, or social arrangement, or whatever love may be... ah, love, that elusive moment when everything comes together, when the universe fits into the palm of your hand and you want nothing more than to give it away, to share it with all, and nothing else matters more than the look your see in someone else's eyes when they look into yours... ah yes, it has been too long, dear candora...

what, no romantic dreams?...

pray to any god you call your master that you find your way without having to follow another, for what you do not do for yourself is a gift, to be sure, but is not you... and in the end, the sum of your deeds will be you, no more, no less... not what you want to be, but what you have done... so dream what you can, but do what you must... and be the gardener of your own gardens...

what, no fertilizer?...

feeling destitute is not a good way to feel, not a good feeling either, especially when it is all-encompassing, that is, not just poverty in the material world... for things can be replaced, financial security can be re-earned, the appearance of a normal life can be rebuilt no matter how much is lost... I know, I have come back from sleeping on the street more than once... but the deeper destitutuion, the loss of spirit, faith, hope, and trust in self and others is much more challenging to come back from, especially in this world where so many careless words are spoken, so many uncaring deeds are done, so much cruelty and abuse and neglect and can be found everywhere... when the soul (or whatever makes a being who one is) falls so deep into darkness and despair that the very air suffocates and lets no light through... but even from there it is possible to return, even when all hopes seems lost, even from the land of the mostly dead...

what, no grand drama?...

and in the last few moments, the child awakens from slumber with soft laughter and muffled giggles wondering which life is this, anyway?... and what have we created today?...

or was it just a dream?...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)