and so little time...

and last night, instead of continuing the sudden surge of healthiness that inspired an all-veggie meal for the first time in months, or at least weeks, we had pizza at work... yes, once again Berry was all too coopoerative when I suggested food... and Belle, our foodaholic nurse, always says yes... so much for being in the best shape of my life for my coming out party (and since when was I intending to be in the best shape of my life for the festival and since when was the festival my coming out party?... well, it seems more exciting and dramatic when put just this way, so maybe I'll ponder and consider it some more now that I've brought it up)...

what I am doing at the moment (whenever the moment is was or will be) is anybody's guess... sitting and staring into space in a sleepy stupor after a stopped-up day... the day was stopped-up by the power company because they turned off the power this morning... they'll be happy to get my $40 for turning it back on... the electric bill was buried under paper crap, food crap, and assorted crap on the kitchen table... Precious usually picks up the mail and until recently she actually looked through it before discarding what isn't for her and my mail would appear on my desk or computer or chair... anyway, none of the things I intended to do today to get ready for the big weekend were done, but I am $40 poorer (not counting the electric bill itself), so the day wasn't a total loss...

I am not sure what to do now... there is not enough time to do the laundry and cleaning I wanted to do, so I'm just going to let it be and keep hoping they really are words of wisdom... I could just sit here and vegetate by absorbing cathode rays or I could drift into a quasi-depressed stupor, but I think I'll wander the web a bit and stimulate my brain (or at least imagine I am stimulating my brain) instead...

I suppose I could go have 12 beers with the damn heel ass kings (where I never have time to explore all the cool links) and reminisce about kindergarten and girls dropping their hot pink OshKoshB'gosh overalls to show off their new even hotter Princess Leia underoos, but that would be perverse even for me... though there was that time in the library corner at nursery school... besides, I'm not quite the level of Star Wars patron that they are, which is, of course, why they've kept me out of their elite little groups... or it could be that they've never heard of me, but I'll go with the blatant rejection idea because it's more dramatic...

I have a million things to do, or at least a five, before feeling ready to head out in the morning to the whatever-it's-going-to-be weekend music festival... Phil says it's been trimmed down to a paltry few hundred and even I, bearer of two full weekend 3-day passes purchased in advance, could face closed gates if I get there too late and they reach their head-count limit... Beetlebrox was not happy with that news...

now give me sequels and prequels to the Hitchhiker's story and I'll line up with all the other space geeks to discuss the nature of the universes, chinese, underoos, or anything that might come up (double entenre not intended, but noted for posterity and the slower kids out there)...

if I really get bored, I could always go make my own personal food pyramid...

I wish there was something more exciting to tell you, but tonight in the limited time between work and sleep and daily hygiene and roommates there was a little more more laundry, cleaning, packing and trying to imagine that I am still wild and crazy enough to let go of the dull daily drudge and really become part of a wild free music festival... it would be great for me to wake up enough to connect with some musicians and the festival people and maybe even get involved in putting the shows together like I was going to do way back in 2000 when I came back to Orlando to start life over...

obviously I did not take the fast track...

the whys and wherefores basically come down to the lack of music or creative or party friends or at least one friend with time and energy to bounce off walls and run around exploring the world with me... of course I could go out by myself like I did in the first half of the nineties, but the clubs are not where I want to meet people these days... I don't want to dress up, put on airs, drink, smoke, and do the whole ego trip thing just to satisfy some pretentious first impression that means next to nothing in the long run... I want to share creative moments and eye contact and real people without the facades...

ah, lament, what would life be without some...

it is very near time to clean up the cluttered space around me... I have a dozen stacks of CDs spread out on the six or seven tables that surround the big green chair... and there are a couple dirty dishes from this morning as well... and a gallon jug of water and a bowl of cheerios (which seem to be magical because they can sit out for days and still be crunchy for a snack) and bottles of mustard and ketchup and chocolate syrup and several stacks of mail and various other sundries... yes, it is very near time to clean up...

another project I want to find time for is the continue process of copying library CDs, which has taken a hiatus for the last two weeks... and while I'm on that subject, the listing (typing in data entry stuff) and cataloging of all the CDs I now have in my CD books would be great since CDs in CD books can not be visually scanned like CDs on a shelf in their CD boxes and I don't remember all of what I copied (much of which would not fall into a favorites stack because I copied lots of CDs I've never heard and some are better than others)...

I have neglected thanking lastyearsgirl for the musical input this week... she definitely deserves more attention than she gets from me, but then, she's not the only one (yes, I do mean you too)... I have not been touching anything much this week, no less over to LJ, as I've barely been able to squeeze out entries here in the time between work and sleep and life... if you only knew, you might understand...

still, I wish you so much well, everyone...