LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-01-22 - 2:01 a.m.

mostly because


yet another email from alex (not alex, nor the alex that used to swim in a thong in Rasputin's backyard pool much to the delight of his neighbor's twelve year old son who was in the habit of masturbating while peeking through the fence until his mother called the police to complain... the police were not sure if the complaint was against alex's fine bottom or against the public masturbation of the boy, which was much more embarrassing for the mother than anyone else... but that's another alex too) one of these days... it (the email, don't get distracted now) was, as usual, in code:

13. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty two e's, six f's, two g's, six h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, five l's, one m, eighteen n's, fourteen o's, one p, six r's, twenty seven s's, twenty t's, two u's, seven v's, nine w's, five x's, and five y's on the wall.

which has little to do with anything except for the fact that it fell out of my head mostly because I am slipping into slumber while packing mostly because I have not slept in a few days mostly because I have been packing and working (even though I did take one night off, but I spent most of that writing with a little packing mostly because I get so little time to write freely without thought of time or space or anything except whatever pops into or out of my mind, which may be anything) mostly because the manager of the place that provides residence for casa de candoor finally came up with an empty apartment for us to move to, which we had to do because the current casa de candoor was damange just enough by the hurricanes last year to make it unpassable by the building inspectors mostly because the ceiling sags and assorted other building code type stuff but they only gave us thirty hours notice so we said no and then they asked about the following weekend which would be this weekend and we said ok, but there's still so many things to do involving a move that without a few days off there so I've seldom slept and now that I pause to rest and watch a little StarGate SG1 and check mail and write a bit mostly because I can barely function (and I'll tell you about the lease signing ceremony almost-fiasco event at another time) mostly because I am so tired, I have lost all contact with where this paragraph might have been going and what my point might have been...

I think...

at least I think I think, which is something expressed in a word that does not come to mind at the moment, so we might say I can not think of it even as I think I think...

which probably does not have much to do with The Leisure Agency, but I did just write a brief letter to an agent, though not Bili Ruben, nor even the leader (and founder) of the Agency who I met through click through her blog by chance or whatever (or was it this {and please let me know if that link does not work, because it's a keystone in the foundation of the secret thing going on that nobody knows about so don't tell anyone} ring thing which is the last {or almost last} new addiction {or did I mean addition} to the rings that casa de candoor are a part of {and thanks to her [yes, again] once again for the inspiration to explore and join more rings cuz it's fun), but I just thought I mention it anyway...

at least I think I thought I'd mention it anyway... some mentions must happen without thought, if that's possible, but then I wouldn't know, would I?...

and I must check in with her one day soon mostly because I miss her light but also because I must somehow re-learn how to maintain contact with those who inspire my light (for whatever it's worth these days) and the few others who consistently leave notes or other contacts of support and cyberlove in whatever form they choose to share it (thank you)...

and wait, I almost forgot the most important things (mostly because I am barely conscious) which, in my current uber self-contained state in which self-preservation alerts are code whatever the highest code level is in whatever code level system you choose, is this (for the moment) this and all of this (if you really want to start to know me, which leads to this and this and this {and all that is connected, visible and not, beyond}, and then some, aye?) wherein I was a bit more awake and somehow found this (and all that came before, cuz it all just keeps getting deeper and closer and without the history, this moment is but a single visible feather on an otherwise invisible winged wonder or but a single visible cell in an otherwise amazing organism, if you know what I mean), which is possible the final breakthrough in the story which was (and still may not be) soup for a long time now (and then, which would be the nineties mostly because it happened then and these things take time for me), which would be the most momentous moment of this millenium in my personal history so far (which would be nice)...

someone cheer me on, I hope...

but then, few know even half the story, so no one can actually cheer me on from the gut of the full knowledge of why some cheering might be warranted.. alas...

and so goes the loneliness moment of this entry...

and that moment lead to this moment mostly because I wrote the rhyme linked to the word loneliness and uploaded it and tried to see it and found the diary is not online so the link is dead and the words that reach into my core may be lost and I'll let it go not because I vented in the previous entry which is what is linked to the word this in this paragraph...

I will retain my irreverent mood
I will retain my joyful glee
I will not let this world bring me down
I will remember me
I will remember me

all the technical bulldinky of this physical life can be so distracting... so now you know that when I am at my most irreverent that's very likely a sign that I want to be taken most seriously mostly because I do not really want to come right out and expose everything without some measure of stability and security to fall back on and irreverence is a keystone to the foundation of the security and secrets things going on that nobody knows about so don't go telling anyone, ok?)... then again, maybe you don't actually pay attention enough to know...

nevermind...

somewhere along the way I lost my way most probably mostly because I keep repeating myself in some loopy insanity that only I understand mostly because of the secret things that I forgot to nevermind after getting distracted by Wicked, which is the latest library CD that was delivered today and has Precious all excited and looking up the libretto and storyline and all that jazz on the web and telling me all the secrets about the story that the songs themselves don't tell about and then the TV found a repeat of SNL and what grabbed me most was not the Catholic school girl's white undies spread wide across the screen (and let me tell you, there's plenty of people with something to say about underwear out there, but that's a stain of a different color), but the song Torn that tore through me back when it first came out mostly because I was so dangdamned torn at the time mostly because I was living (euphemistically) with my heart in one place and my soul in another and my mind in the gutter (no, that was my body, I'd lost my mind at the time) and I just want to hug someone and hold someone and feel someone hug and hold me as if the respect and resolve to be there for each other is meant to last beyond the end of time but since I only have my arms that are willing to make that commitment with me in this space at this time, I just ramble on and bring it down and depress us all unless you are wise enough to realize that this meandering sentence is one more flip and dip and spin around the roller coaster and we shall overcome someday...

somewhere, someday, somehow... who gets it?

so did Joe Cocker get old and fat or what?... I love his energy and emotion (and I recall laughing at John Belushi's immitation of him and I wish some SNL reruns from those early days would be played instead of the 90s stuff, but then, I may be old and fat too, huh?), but then, what does a teenager know about everything... sometimes I wonder why anyone reads me... sometimes I deliberately attempt to confuse myself... sometimes I do...

and this time, it was not music, this time I was saved by the Animaniacs... everybody sing!

I've got to do some more packing now...

so from the random roaming that catches my eye to the depths of all I am poured into words to the entertainment and play and distractions and creativity that so easily fills my world, there is so much to be known about each and every one of us... and so little time to get to know...

thank you for caring to want to know something about me...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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brilliant idea
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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