LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-07-30 - 6:29 p.m.

more about me


just when you thought this diary could not get any more narcissistic, here we go again with more about me... yeah, I warn you so you can skip it if you want to read something else, especially since this may be a rerun...

this next bit may have been from an old entry or maybe it's just sat around in a scribble file for a while... it was inspired by comments from Pfirsich and I think reveals more detail about me (or just repeats that same crap redundantly, your call)... I re-read them and realize these words can be said to anyone, to you... your opinions interest me... so I did what I do, I expanded on the previous thoughts and now I ask you to consider the following written directly to you, especially if you have any interest in sharing or being my friend...

your opinions interest me... I look at words written to me or about me and accept that they might be true (even when they dispute what I believe I know about myself)... I do not argue or fight much because I am secure in who I am, I love myself and know myself well (and that can get boring too)...

anything is possible, anything could be right, and any time abut any thing I might be wrong...

I seek a partner, not a master or slave (my independence is so deeply ingrained in my character due to the lack of supervision or parenting from the time I was very small that it is one of the reasons I am alone... most people seem to find independence admirable from afar, but a turn off when it gets up close and personal... from y perspective, people seem to want neediness more than they claim)...

as for violence, the higher energy level I live at is sometimes viewed as violent or aggressive by the lazy people I meet, so I understand the good side of the word violence... I have been hit in this life, been in abusive situations and relationships, and do not like the fact that I hit back after a while of being abused... the violence produced practically nothing positive, just reduced my thought process to the singularity that violence bad (like mmm,ok? if South Park means anything to ya)...

the good violence I put my body through at the gym or on the trail is great, feels great (and I must do it more to survive this lethargic period of life I am currently in)... the violence of play can be fun and I wish I knew more people who trusted enough to share some... it is the violence that results in pain (one kind of violence) that I do not enjoy... I've known much pain in this life, physical and emotional, and it's an interesting challenge for me, but I do not seek it out and do not enjoy inflicting it on others...

as for where I am coming from, I am not coming or going anywhere these days, but at my core I am ridiculously happy and peaceful (which is why I can stagnate and drift so easily, like I'm kicked back on a sailboat, or maybe a dingy, out in the middle of the ocean just staring up at the stars at night and at the clouds and sky each day and hoping someone in their own boat crosses my path when I feel lonely, but loving the solitary drift so much I am not lonely enough to paddle towards anything)...

I only know what I know about me and I could be wrong, so I welcome anyone who cares to come spend time getting to know me and give me another perspective to ponder... I respect honesty more than anything and love kindness, but do not think any sort of lie is kind... so tell me what you think and feel without pulling any punches (and without trying to be mean)... honesty without harm is my way and what I hope for most from you...

I decide what I want to do each moment, whether it is what someone else wants to do or not, it is my decision each time... I'm just a person, good or bad are not judgments I waste my time on (most of the time - hence my reference to the South Park joke 'drugs are bad, m'ok?' which reflects the irreverence I feel about most things... drugs, guns, sex, rock 'n roll, money, anything and everything is not good or bad in and of itself, it's what people do with things, healthy or not healthy, life-supporting or death-supporting, and the risks involved that makes an act good or bad - and each act, each time, for each individual is a personal judgment, not a general rule)...

I want you to be responsible for yourself, to share yourself as you wish, to define yourself as you are (or be a fantasy if that is what you want to be)... I'd like to talk to you on the phone, even more, I'd like to look into your eyes and see you in the flesh (more than a picture, I mean)... I'd like to know who you are, where you're coming from, and what makes you tick (besides enjoying discussion on the internet)...

I'd like to know why you think what you think about me, not just what you think about me... and I'd like to know what you think about yourself and life and love and music and words and the human senses and creativity and sensuality and religion and politics and western culture and space and the cosmos and death and sex and sports and games and passion and pain and chocolate and water and the paranormal and the known and god and food and the planet and computers and the internet and history and mythology and humor and what matters most to you and anything I didn't list here that is important to you - and why you think what you think... and I'd like to know how you feel (substitute the word feel for think in the previous sentences)...

I think I dance around aggressive actions because I am easily bored with direct confrontation, been there, done that, look for other interactive games to play... I experiment with alternative approaches and reactions that might teach me and others more than a quick knee-jerk reflex... I tend to play with human nature in order to try to understand it better (and to keep myself from getting bored)... I find people are way too easy to read and manipulate in the offline world and that is not my object in life, but I do it in order to continue interacting and get some of what I want... what I want most is someone who dares to expose everything and wants to share everything, but I rarely find anyone who truly wants to (and can) be completely open and honest with themselves (no less with me)...

in that sense, I am still four, apparently fearless in opening myself and sharing with others at first meeting not because I am fearless, but because sharing and learning and finding true friends is more important than fear of what might happen or what they might do to me... tomorrow is tomorrow, I am living today... anyone who enters my sensory sphere, anyone who lets me know they exist, anyone who comes into my physical world is welcome to share anything and everything we mutually want to share for the moment and each moment we decide what feels good and what doesn't and move on from there...

that seems to scare and attract people depending on how close and personal it is... that's the dichotomy of the hypocrisy of human nature... most people react, at least at first, with fear and suspicion to someone who is open and honest in their face... but most people admire openness and honesty in the public forum, in the safety of the crowd... and when it comes to one on one intimacy, openness and honesty becomes even more a dichotomy...

I want it on every level... show me someone else who does...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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TSUNAMI INFO
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MIT Survey

brilliant idea
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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