LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-01-09 - 6:24 p.m.

there are moments when I feel...


oh, how I wish I had a Jenny to go home to... and I might, though I'd rather it be her, which was the reason I continue playing the waiting fool... hoping it's not wasted, hoping all the songs (the need, the dreams, the truth and madness... hoping all will be sung, heard, shared, understood... and the healing complete...

and the new life begun...

. o ( suddenly, The Waterboys come to mind ) O o .

and I look around the space for a few moments... I see that for the first time in weeks, the kitchen was cleaned... it was a smiling moment, however before I could walk into the space and touch the clean counters and maybe even cook something without thinking about botulism, it (the clean) was gone... life in casa de candoor... yes, the kitchen was cleaned, but immediately afterward, a mess was made... that remains...

the weekend was sleepy... I became part of the big green chair and glanced up from slumber or writing to see some football games and movies, but nothing to write home about...

had I a home, that is...

there are moments when I feel I knew what I was searching for once... that is, I actually had it, felt it, shared it, knew it in time and space as a physical experience in this life... and then I wonder how much of that feeling is memory and how much is fantasy... and maybe everything is a little, or a lot, of both...

the alls are bare white, though textured... very clinical... very pristine... the ceiling is stucco... at times the walls seem boring, infinite nothingness... at times I see vast alien lands in the textures of the ceiling and the walls... anything and everything painted on them, feeling the blank slate that I am and the ability (and desire) to create an image...

maybe even myself...

and there are moments I feel annoyed with life as it is today... I see a few bills waiting my attention on the table to my left, thinking of how I can convince my roomates that I $300 a month electric bill could be cut down if they'd pay attention to what they do (like Precious hit me with another $70 in over-charges on the cell phone this month... I keep reminding myself that I love her and that helps)... even more annoying though is that someone leaves the freezer open a lot (the melted ice cubes tell me secrets) cuz I like iced drinks... but beneath those bills and the less than pleasant thoughts are two 200 CD holders, both full now, and a few piles of CDs around them... the blessing comes in the moment I remember being saved by the music (and I find a moment to update my lyrics pages and remember my newest diary space... this is suddenly a wonderful moment...

everything turns into a wonderful moment when I let it (ok, so sometimes the moment needs a little nudge, but it's still there for the enjoying if I let myself)... and yet, there is much to clean up inside and out, much to cry over and laugh about and I believe I have reached a point in this life where there are few moments when I do not feel the pain of living in this world...

but that's ok too...

so I sit here with my headphones on listening to Harry (since this is where I left off in my return to listening as I sat all of the Harry CDs I have in the queue that sits on the little table just to the right of the big green chair)... Precious sits a few feet away at my desktop computer downloading some music (I can hear it in the world outside of my earphones during Harry's quieter moments... I think it's Josh Groban)...

Rasputin sleeps...

it is one of those rare moments when Precious handed me the TV remote in the middle of the afternoon and went off the do something other than watch the tube...

so I turned it off and put music in my ears...

and this is what came out...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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TSUNAMI INFO
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Deland Music Festival
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brilliant idea
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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