LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-01-27 - 8:19 p.m.

missing you


I have this distant sense that some people have missed me, even though I haven't heard much from anybody (other than a few hopeful friends, which is my definition for strangers) in the past week and I've been drifting in and out of my mists myself, but there's a clearing just ahead that is placing a rather unsatisfying thought right before my eyes and that thought is I do not have anyone in this world today (at least not anyone who is in touch with me today) who actually misses me in an intimate every breath we take way... far from it, I mean, the phone barely rings twice a week... and having lived through a few amazing relationships that were live-and-breathe, do-or-die to be with each other every possible moment kind of relationships, I know the feeling and no amount of numbing down (or dumbing down) has eliminated that feeling from my heart and mind and soul and wherever else it might enter and take over and dominate and compel me to want it stronger than any addiction to anything I could ever imagine (and I've tried most everything and nothing can replace it)... so maybe what these two, and now three rather long and possibly run-on sentences are trying to say is that I am lonely, but if the words did not fail me then perhaps they convey the depth of that feeling, the seemingly senseless dissatisfaction with anything, no matter how pure or true or wonderful it may be, that is not that every-moment-intensity...

but I am no fool... well, at least not a complete fool... for I know that every note you leave, every email I receive, every word you send me in comment or guestbook or through snail mail or voicemail any way... every word... every bit of tangible energy you share with me keeps me alive... even the thank you tags from relative strangers for the notes and comments and touches I leave for you mean so much more to me than the silences between contacts... you bless me with your time and attention...

if I knew how to thank you enough to give you some sort of wonderful wonder-filled feeling that would inspire you to want to come by and leave me a little love or sugar or a breath of life or whatever we might call a few words of encouragement and contact every day, I would do exactly that... for I want you to feel as good as I do when you leave me a few words... so I keep trying to find the right words to tell you...

somewhere out there you sit staring at your computer screen... maybe it's a nice big 20+ inch screen on your desk in your study or office... maybe it's a left-over 15 inch dustball sitting on a stand in a crowded kitchen or bedroom or living room or one room apartment... maybe it's a laptop warming your lap in bed or in a comfortable chair... maybe you're at a library or somewhere else without home access at all, or temporarily... I've been there... I've been on the street plugged into an outdoor outlet in a park with an old gifted laptop that still sits barely working next to my bed today, a memory of much more challenging times when the internet was a lifeline of hope that there were still ways to connect with people and find the few people in this world who might be on my wavelength, who might actually come close to understanding all of me... who might care to, want to, and be able to share the intimacy of knowing and wanting every moment...

maybe you just clicked through casually, randomly, on your way to another site or even on your way to nowhere... just clicking to pass the time... but if you've read this far, then maybe a word or few here has touched you and given you a kernel of thought, an inkling of feeling, a reason to maybe want to know more...

well, here's hoping for more... I currently write in at least six different places (each letter a place) on a regular, sometimes daily basis... they are places for six different aspects of my pesonality, six different ways of relating to the world, six different... what?... facets of the rough cut gemstone I might be, or someday be, or once was... and there is more, a lot more...

but who will ever share it all...

that is what I want most in this world... to share everything I am and can be with someone who can and will share everything they are with me... all the time... ah, time, always the elusive entity... always too much when there's nothing to do, when fear or loneliness dominate... and always too little when the hunger to share is overwhelming and the hope to share is strong... as it is now... I feel you out there... I know you are reading... I can not thank you enough... I wish you were here... at least I have your notes... the hunger would truly be unbearable without them...

I wish I had more time during the week to tell you...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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brilliant idea
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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