LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-10-03 - 1:39 a.m.

introspection for a Saturday night (the secret to everything)


this might sound strange, even to psychological researchers (anybody looking for a doctoral theses on memory functions?), but I'll propose this hypothesis based on my personal experience and years of study of the human brain (my own)...

it has been so long since I had time to catch up on sleep and let my mind wake up fully refreshed (no less the body)... this effects my memory in various ways, mostly just shutting it down... I can manage on next to no sleep by reducing the energy given to the transition process between short term to long term memory... I often give no energy to intermediate memory so everything is dumped into long term memory as it happens...

it's like this (I'll try to stay serious):

I look at something (entering it into short term memory) and then toss it in the big box (long term memory) without studying it (intermediate memory)... what imprints itself enough in the short term memory then becomes long term memory and what does not becomes a vague recollection (subconscious memory) or perhaps forgotten (unconscious memory)... I then reduce my conscious awareness because it takes more energy than this body (including the physical organ we call the brain) can recover on the minimal rest I give it... this decision fit in perfectly with the healing process my brain required in recent years... and with accepting (and functioning within) the dramatically reduced free time that comes of living a full time working life (as that I've known in recent years) compared with the free time afforded to an independently wealthy life (that I've known in the past)...

there are great benefits to this hypothesis that I accept as the way it is in my head... my favorite benefit is the sense of freedom that living in the moment brings... also that I can do it (live and be completely in the moment) without any distraction or interference from past baggage (and I've got plenty stored away in big mental boxes)... and another benefit is that I can absorb a lot of information quickly and easily...

however it does have it's drawbacks...

the limited time for free play and digestion of information and organization of mental storage is stressful under the surface and reduces the time I can give to myself to rest and relax and digest and explore my creativity and grow freely and that, in the long run, will probably reduce the number of years I can keep this body alive...

one drawback shows itself here in my communications online... I browse around and respond to the moment while I store memory of the momentary experiences at a subconscious level... this allows a lot more to be stored and yet, because it is stored so quickly it appears (to me) that I forget to maintain continuity in my mental process... this allows for the free association babbling I do and yet, it makes for relatively random communications... it might drive those who need continuity in feedback and contact crazy (or just away)... still, for me, it doesn't much matter if the last time we talked was five minutes ago or five years ago, my mind usually picks right where we left off simply by keeping the intermediate memory clear...

now given this fact about the way my mind/memory works, it may appear, on the surface, to be a contradiction to suggest that I never let go of anything positive... that love, when i feel it, becomes a permanent memory (perhaps my heart has a permanent memory of it's own)... it is a sense-memory, a memory of feeling that does not change or go away... it doesn't even diminish (I just learn to live with it if it does not work out and can not long be shared... and I believe that makes my love and what I can share all the more powerful... which may be why I am alone and so often told, by those who've shared intimacy with me, that I am too intense, but that might be another entry for another time, or even another diary, huh?)...

this is the reality of this life as I know it... I am a pack rat who lives in the moment (an living breathing walking talking dichotomy (or oxymoron?... hey, who I'm calling a moron?)...

of course this is just the illusion I call my reality...

it's all illusion, after all (just paint your target around where your arrow lands if hitting the bullseye is that important to you, but remember that what really matters is that you pull back your bow and let your arrows fly)... now you know...

(silly mortal)...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
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A Diaryland Survey
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your profile matters
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tell others
read others
applause?
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gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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