yes, that title is the song you think it is... and if you don't know the song or the melody, go expand your musical knowledge back to the whole past century and mammy, start with Al Jolson...

there is more to this entry and hopefully it will be uploaded in the morning...

hey, so much for the intention to replace the previous entry with another one quickly... I fell asleep and so the previous entry had most of a day all to itself, good thing too, since some of you guys had time to comment on it - thanks oodles...

actually, thanks much more than oodles, but there's no worrds that adequately express my appreciation, so I settled on oodles cuz it's a fun word and seems like a like and since it is not numerical persay, it's potentially infinite so that's the meaning I'm intending... but thanks infinitely doesn't sound as fun, ya know?...

so anyway, once again, I share my responses to comments below, but first I expound here in the brief time I have left before work (I might did add to this in the morning as I don't have time for much now, but if I take it to work I should have more time for babbling on and on in between actual work)... I'm not sure if doing this (bringing my responses to comments into entries) will encourage more comments or discourage more comments, as shy commenters (which may be the majority) might hold back fearing what I might say in response in my diary like this and I wouldn't want that... I love comments, dear commenters and potential commenters, I'll be good (cheshire grin)...

on the other hand, I want to share and so I take this opportunity (and the inspiration that your comments provide) to further tell you about myself (ad infinitum, huh?) in the hopes that we can feel closer (at least in words) and maybe some friends will be found even closer than words and life changing connections might come of all this...

and we'll live happily ever after...

still hoping I'm not the only dreamer, ya know?...

I think I'd like to throw some color changes on my head before I cut it (flaming red tips, perhaps?)... I want to play with it... I may be in the wrong town to find playmates for such games though... the hair thoughts are indicative of growing desires for a change in this life on most every level... from alone to not alone, from single to not single, from bloated, tired, and old to working out and fit and charged-up, from sleepwriting to aware-awake-active, from couch potato to party-animal, and more (though not necessarily as extreme as I once might do, for that would not be a change, if that makes sense)... ir would also be fun, I think, to let someone play with my hair (as in change it)... much like Tiggers I guess, candoors just wanna have fun...

yes, I've done that (responded to people in an entry) somewhere along the way in most of my online writing places... I've also considered creating a diary community (since none of the existing ones will have me, hearing a Groucho Marx quote in my head at the moment and laughing), but I don't think I'd have the time to commit to maintaining it, maybe... at first I felt the 're-work my own comments' idea was too egocentric, but then, I figured how could I get 'too' egocentric when this diary is about as egocentric as I get... all those second thoughts seem to lead to rules of some sort, so I decided to toss them out and write on instinct as I usually do... and I'm so happy that is appreciated cuz I'm tired of living in my own comfy vacuum)...

to your question: What is your special interest in general?... words, I love to write... music, I love to sing, listen, live, dance, run, move, share, love, laugh, cry, feel, write and be inspired by music... helping others, I love to see someone smile because they know I just cared about them... falling in love, I love to fall in love, to be in love, to share a partnered-life... chocolate, eating and foods, sensual experiences, learning, games, I've got an activity page somewhere... here and then there's a wants list... both are years old, both are still accurate, mostly)...

so many other things are part of this life that I would not want to be without, but this is definitely an entry in progress cuz I could spend an hour thinking and writing about this when I'm in the mood...

next question: To the world as well?... I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony... but I don't want to buy the world a Coke, actually, I'd like to help people get past their fears, open their hearts and minds, and realize that they and everyone would be much happier if we just shared more and were honest with ourselves and each other... I'm a dreamer who lives the dream in every day ways... what I do is I hold out my hand to people who are afraid, who've been hurt, neglected, abused, raped, beaten, abandoned, and stripped of any self-respect, esteem, and real sense of power that they might have developed along the way...

next: Aren�t you a sexual person?... yes... real world physical touching sex, but I'm not interested in literary or cyber sex much... I am right-brain sexual much more than left, visual images and physical touches are sexual, literature and language are fun, but less physically stimulating for me... though a lover's voice can be a beautiful exception to these general attributes describing who I am... I am very selective and very visceral, sexually...

as for my writing, I have learned to write in broad strokes as if to the universe mostly because individualized correspondence has lied to me enough times for me to not trust it... one on one, I am in the habit of waiting for eye contact and physical presence before empowering trust in the real daily life world... for me, mutually exclusive or monogamous relationships, making someone the whole world, happens in the physical spaces, not online (not even with visual images) or in snail mail letters or even on the phone...

I respond to your words 'forced to take you fully'... I am not into forcing anyone to do anything... take, as in sexually, or as in 'in every way including sexually' (which is fully to me), well, fully is offline, in the flesh, eye to eye, hand to hand, body to body... the mutual attraction must continue there, in the flesh... that is where the visceral real world begins... that is where I live... to get me truly, fully, that is where it starts...

yes, the physical change goes with the inner changes (for me the inner changes always preceeded the outer change in appearance, but I'm considering reversing the process... though I'm not considering it enough to do it, since I've been considering it for a few years... one thing I am waiting for is someone to come along and want to play with my hair with me... to play with it before it's cut...

and then, the deeper reason is that I am not a surface person... I don't believe a quick appearance change will have much effect on my insides, so I've been waiting for the inner me to actually make a change (like get back to the gym daily and drop the excess weight and feel my energy again, for one thing)... I kind of made a sort of pact with myself (not exactly a promise, so I can change it) that I would not cut my hair until I returned to being me in the physical world, in this body... what that means, being me, is raising this body's energy level to a point where it (this body) is in tune (vibrating?) with my mind (ethereal me) or at least much much closer than it is now... it's all very ethereal (or spiritual) and not easy to put into words, but it makes sense to me and anyone who's been there (on the same mind-body energy wavelength)... so anyway, I still want to play with my hair with someone else... how's your new hair experience going?...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)