LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-02-21 - 1:21 a.m.

so majorly distracted...


maybe I want to cook and eat something... I am kind of hungry... but then I take one look at the kitchen and decide I do not want to clean and scrub and wash before I can get to cook and eat, so cooking loses any appeal it might have had... I don't use the kitchen much anymore... it's canned stuff, sandwiches, and microwaved food for me lately... and of course, food prepared by restaurants and almost restaurants (and the rare fast food)...

maybe I want to head down to the gym... it has been a few days... but then it is closed right now (dang insurance companies and big business) and I am not finding motivation to run outdoors and the air is chilled tonight and blah blah blah, which just about says it all...

maybe I want to listen to music... I just fixed my library card problem and took out fifteen CDs... the TV is blaring with the Britney, Christina, the Hilton sisters and other nearly naked bodies flashing by in three second images while Precious, who was watching while talking on the phone and playing on the computer, is sleeping on the couch, Rasputin just left for work, and I actually have headphones on my head because I started listening to a CD because I was tied of the VH1 news shows that were all they put on tonight... People magazine gets old after a while, like E!... as if money buys attention, social life, and friends... well, it does buy attention and social life...

but what about the music?...

maybe I want to talk to someone... there are a few people I have gone too long without talking to, especially someone in Chattanooga who is family and deserves a birthday gift (that is late)... she understands lack of money and even understands my too frequent periods of social hibernation (which, come to think of it, is the opposite of my personality and behavior as a teenager and I was a very happy teen so my after teen moodiness could be directly related to my boring choices for myself... which is probably a duh thought, but it's here anyway)...

maybe I want to communicate more... there are emails to answer and diaries to read and maybe even real people to get to know (that is, people who want to share and let me get to know them and really want to know me and even visit and talk and play and be real in the physical world) and I want to, but I am letting the distractions in this space lead me away from doing the things I want to do... self-defense or apathy or blah blah blah...

the simplicity of being polite, of responding to an email, of reading diaries and leaving notes to keep up an actual communication with an individual or invividuals, that is the social skill I've let sleep so long... the one on one...

it is perhaps my only defense mechanism... subconsciously avoiding by letting distractions lead me to momentary life, to spacing out... is that the kitten defense...

for when it comes to looking into eyes, actually talking to people and opening up, that happens easily, probably too easily, which is why I've been so vulnerable, probably too vulnerable, in this life in this world... and I wonder after all I've been through (so far), is it human nature to want to take advantage, to want to one-up everyone, to want to win even in the smallest of human interactions, even in the most open honest personal interactions?... and I lament and I wonder, doesn't anybody just want to share without keeping score?...

and share the same things... that's important... for I've known sharing without keeping score in this life and it is wonderful, but the few people who shared so openly with me did not share the same core interests... so much was left unshared, unexplored, unsatisfied... oh blah, the angst of life weights a ton... la...

maybe I want to go back to bed... I am kinda sleepy... but then, it's more of a lethargy and laziness than sleepiness (not that I've had enough actual sleep lately) and just cuz the rest of the world in this time zone is asleep and Precious is on the couch sleeping, that doesn't mean I have to... still, it is a challenge to wake up and turn on the energy when trying to be as silent as possible...

maybe I want to read... I took Stephen King's Gunslinger out of the library because I want to read the final three books in that series but before I do I want to read the first four again... and I want to read the Harry Potter series... and Tolkein's Ring series again, starting with The Hobbit... and I want to read The DaVinci Code before I hear any more about it because the people at work read it and one (the large LPN) just keeps wanting to tell people all the details because she loves to be the one who tells others things they don't know (it's probably an insecurity thing) and she does not care that some people might like to read a book (or see a movie) without knowing the details... just share, not control...

I am listening to Sigur-Ros... I picked up the CD at the library because it had no words on the cover, front back or side... and no words on the multi-page insert... just the website sigur-ros.com on the bottom of the back page of the inner booklet... that intrigued me... I like them...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
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who me?

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tell others
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applause?
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gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
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browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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