LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-03-14 - 10:01 p.m.

lots o' sleep


too much sleep, if that's possible... I think it is possible when sleep patterns are not consistent and there's a long term build up of lack of sleep... I'm no sleep expert though, so I may be completely wrong... or just a little wrong, even... but in any case, I am over-groggy (that is, not the usually grogginess)... maybe it's a new drug my brain created for my mind to play with...

sometimes lost somewhere within my mind
are the dreams my heart has longed to find
the one who shares every desire
who is reborn inside the fire
share to live
all we give
and inspire

so here we are... in spite of the sadness of some of the memories (and the odd grogginess), there is much growing excitement and rejoicing and general bouncing around about the fact that I am I am listening to music more often again... it's a sonic jubilation, ya know?...

yes, it is time to put a link to the music stacks on the left there... so we can always see just what is playing in my headphones at any given time... much randomness and experimentation and exploration shall be on those lists, that's for sure... and I welcome your suggestions too... I wish we could be sharing music... and as usual, thoughts flow along the one track mind part of my psyche to dreaming of the one...

your are the comfort in my lonely nights
you are the passion of my dreams
you are the answer I've been searching for
you are love and all it means
you are the wonder of my mispent youth
you are an angel in my eyes
you are the one sharing everything
you are the highest of my highs

lub-dub

you are the breath that fills my life with joy
you are the hope the best will be
you are the reason for all I'll ever do
you are my truth and destiny
this is an old song but it's still as true
you mean everything to me

ah, and who can truly bring that song to life (me me, pick me)... the music does not have to be coming through my ears to be heard in my head, for there is a constant soundtrack in my mind that has kept me alive when all else has failed... even in silence the singer must sing... so Josh Groban sings Neil Sedaka?... or wake me up inside (the essence of smoke is evanescence)... and make it real... old songs, new songs, borrowed songs, songs of every color in the rainbow and then beyond (yes, yes, yes... yeah, yeah, yeah)... let me be saved by the music once again...

it's much better than the noise from the workmen outside... yes, it is seven months since the last Hurricane passed through, seven weeks since they moved us into this supposedly completed building, and they still have not repaired everything in this apartment community... in fact, I'd say they're maybe half done... the part that irks us is that they moved us into a new apartment in a building they said was completed... and here we've been for seven weeks and they are still working on the building... it looked finished when we moved in, but then they tore down the facade and have been noisy several days a week since the first week we moved in... once I had a website praising this place... it was one of the best places to live on the east side of Orlando... now I strongly recommend anyone looking for a place to live look anywhere but here...

it's not so much the hurricane damage or the reconstruction... it's the management lies and lack of consideration or professionalism... I was moved to write a couple of reviews on apartment websites and I thought I linked the first one, but I didn't find it in a review of the past month and a half since we've been here, so maybe I didn't... anyway, I'll see if I can't find the first, but the second can be found here...

it's actually kinder than the first review I wrote the first week they moved us into this supposedly finished building and I was awaked by jackhammers a foot or two from my head... but is there a better place near here that is any closer to being completely over the hurricanes?... dunno, and I'm too lazy to search, but I do know for sure that there are more than a few communities that are way behind and some that haven't even started major repairs yet... so that's why we stay, ultimately... in spite of the management, the place is better than most...

sometimes I feel quite bipolar...

shifting gears (remembering the previous entry and those like them), sometimes I feel pathetic, being so devoted to the feelings inside of me... but then, that's more cultural pressure than my true feelings about how I experience emotions... I live my love in the moment and each moment is forever... and when I share my love unconditionally and trust unconditionally and intimately, it remains part of me forever even if the one sharing goes away... so in these times of life when I am alone, without a partner sharing the unconditional intimacy of love, I can spend time remembering what it felt like because it still feels the same... what was the line, something like "the love, you take it with you" (name the film?)...

oh, my love, my darling... I hunger for your touch... Melissa Etheridge always brings the hunger for the touch back... which might be further proof that I am a lesbian trapped in a male body, but that may not be the point I was coming to (or running from?)... have you explored the polarities of the lovewarp?...

all I want to do is love someone
with all the love in my heart
and all the love I can imagine
that's just where I'd like to start

all I want to do is give someone
everything I'll ever be
for better or worse, for what I am worth
may someone want this with me

the partings and end of the physical intimacies does not end the feelings and it takes time to heal if the ends were not mutually wanted or beneficial... such sweet sorrow, much better to have loved... the earliest loves and partings are easiest to write about because the healing is complete (enough)... there is nothing but joy and beautiful feelings to to feel, even though there is more to remember... the more recent loves still have some healing to go through, so there is less writing... and I ruminate over my personal history a lot because, well, I am alone a lot and it's the only history I know personally and completely from start to now...

wanna tell me yours?...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
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(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
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Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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