LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-10-04 - 11:04 a.m.

it seemed so much easier when I lived alone...


this entry shall be composed of pieces of would-be entries, scraps of paper (not literally) with scribbles upon them, and assorted haphazard words that have been found here and there as I try to find the entry that was supposed to be this entry... of course everything is as it is and that is how it is supposed to be, I suppose, so there it is and so be it (whatever it is)...

anyway, I am not certain how high the redundancy level will be if you continue to read this entry as some of what is included here may have been already uploaded as part of (or entire) previous entries, but some time along the way as the hurricanes passed through Florida this summer, I wrote something that sounded an awful like like this:

so I should have just gone to bed, but instead I ate a full dinner-type meal and now sleep calls all the more cuz I slept so little yesterday and just got home from work and here's a habit that could definitely use some serious changing...

it seemed so much easier when I lived alone...

as did writing, focusing on creativity, and communicating, but roommates are an easy excuse, as are most other excuses and even frustration is a choice... ultimately it is my choice to forget I have will power and give into the emotional hunger that increases the physical hunger exponentially... of course I had not eaten in almost sixteen hours... I ate about four yesterday afternoon, big meal, dinner... then I wrote the previous entry and some notes and read a little bit more before heading for a shower and then bed... I napped about two hours and then headed for work... arriving home an hour ago, I chose to ate instead of sleep... my choice, my bad...

so instead of dropping a pound or two a week I maintain or even gain a pound or two a week (if this habit continues as it's been on and off for months, at least)... so the first half of the year I dropped twenty pounds by getting to the gym almost daily and eating a bit better (in terms of timing, my diet is fairly well balanced overall, except, perhaps when it comes to chocolate binges, but hey, nobody's perfect and heck if I wanna be)... and since the relative pause in workouts, which I say started in early July, I put those twenty pounds right back on... so six months to lose twenty, three months to gain it back... doesn't seem fair, does it?...

alas, I've always had a rather easy-going metabolism... never been the nervous sort... and hyperactivity is a state I can rise to and enjoy (more than most), but it is not my natural biorhythm... laid-back, that's more like my stasis... s'pose that was one of the reasons I enjoyed living in California so much...

and right about now, laid-back in the big green chair nodding off is where you'll find me in spite of the groundkeeping engines revving sand reconstruction hammering...

now that bit above is more often the daily habit than is the gym and not indulging my taste buds and love of food... and the influences around me are enough to drive a person to obesity (as the start of the next entry might attest, or attest to, depending on which is grammatically correct for the context and all... I really do not do this to drive English majors {or tutors, even) crazy {mess with the language, I mean}, but this is simply the way my mind works {or doesn't work, depending on perspective} and I like it and it makes me happy {so it can't be bad, right?... well, Sheryl Crow agrees with me}... anyway...

I suppose my literary style {or lack thereof} is why great literary masters {or those who have such potential, to name but a very few or the cream of the elite {burp}, even} have not added me as a favorite diary {or worse, added me upon first contact and then deleted me after seeing what a mess I make out of the language}, which disheartens me to no end sometimes when I want to imagine their adoration and desire for sharing great intellectual and spiritual insights {or at least wild passionate sex} with them, but that's yet another tangential experience we shall laugh about as this distraction passes through much like one of the hurricanes that has passed through Florida this summer)...

what?...

oh, anyway, I was minding my own business (which, at times, is begging to be added to favorites lists in subtle-as-a-brick parenthetic tangents) munching on some chocolate thing and browsing around DLand when these next thoughts were inspired:

sometimes I hear "you write to much."
sometimes I just ignore it.

and then something in this inspired this:

Maybe the most important life lesson I learned came to me simply out of egocentric stubbornness, but it is simply this: I do not have to be like them. "Them" being anyone, but most especially my parents. I was a young child when I proved this to myself. I changed my posture and my outlook, sat back and watched them, decided what they were doing was not right for me, and realized I could separate myself. Powerless as I was, I could sit back and do nothing, instead of reacting with anger or prejudice or ignorance as they did. I wish I could bottle the power that sitting back and doing nothing gave me, for the simple decision to blend into the walls or chair or back seat of the car, not reacting, allowed me to develop my own habits instead of absorbing theirs. I am far from perfect, but not feeling bound by imprinted bad habits is a freedom I wish everyone could know.

and you probably already already know that this effected my affect but good... what you may not know (unless I've already told you before this entry) is that one reason might be it reminded me a little of this... or even this... could it (people are paths, you know?) be one way back to my origins?...

in conclusion, and clicking randomly on banners and links, here's where I wandered today...

hope it was good for you too...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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