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�2006 Candor Communications


2005-10-05 - 3:44 p.m.

from where I sit, life is a mess...


well I may have finally completely the last entry which was apparently part one of whatever might be part two, which may or may not be written yet (my scraps of papers and files are in more disarray than usual this week, what with the lack of sleep being more than the usual lack of sleep... if you think you read the previous entry already, think again (or go back and check cuz you may have missed something that changes everything)...

or not...

and now we come to this entry...

WARNING

yes, this entry has a warning label..

this entry will contain some information you might not wish to read... sometimes I am sitting at this job and wondering how humanity has gotten so screwed up... our job in this hospital is to try to unscrew kids who've been victims of what is euphemistically called nature... boys will be boys... parents will learn all they need to know about bring up a healthy child because when they have a child, they have to... love is a beautiful thing... and of course we have religion to help us when we forget how to be good caring people...

tonight we have a new arrival in our hospital...

she's ten...

that's ten years old, not her name...

to respect her privacy as I tell you about her we will call her the girl...

the girl is actually going to be in another program for younger kids, but that program does not have enough beds at the moment so she's sleeping on our unit (which is for 12-17 year olds) and is supposed to be picked up early for her program in the AM... she was sleeping when we arrived and the outgoing shift did not mention her name or anything about her, probably because they knew little or nothing about her... they probably knew her name though, since they put her to bed...

but I wouldn't swear to it...

the girl is another in a long line of kids messed up by our puritan culture that fears and condemns sexuality therein driving people who will not ignore and repress their natural instincts to procreate and pleasure themselves into underground and sometimes violent expressions of their sexuality... the anger expressed in supposedly loving domination and submission or bondage or pain-related sexuality, I think, is misguided guilt over the learned fears of sharing the body and frustration over natural impulses that are, according to our culture, supposed to not exist or at least be repressed...

I mean, just ask your local clergyman...

or alterboy...

the girl was removed from her mother's home and hospitalized under what this state calls the Baker Act, which is supposed to get people help when they need it even if they refuse, because threatened to kill herself last month...

the girl is a victim and perpetrator of sexual abuse...

she claims she's not engaged in sexuality, oral or genital, with her five year old brother in almost a year, thought she did perform oral sex on him and tried to get him to enter her for about two years prior to stopping... she claims that her sixteen and thirteen year old brothers, who taught her how to perform oral and genital sex with them about five years ago, have not done anything with her in a couple of years... the sixteen year brother old was in our sexual predator program a few years ago and lives with his father now, out of state, mostly because we recommended against letting him return to the mother's home... the thirteen year old has been in a jail program and still lives with the mother and five year old brother... the mother claims she left the father because, "he got out of hand and his beatings started to hurt too much"...

they had an alternative lifestyle...

the mother and stepfather also have an alternative lifestyle... they attend and throw sex parties for friends and friends of friends... they claim they never engage in their lifestyle unless the children are away overnight... the mother admits that the children know about their lifestyle and have seen the flogging and bondage tools... the mother says the kids have probably gotten access to their adult toys and used the vibrators... the mother and stepfather claim they never involved the children in any of their sexual activities, stating that "they always lock the door"...

when asked why they had to lock the door if the children were not in the house, they claimed that they do have sex while the children are home, but they do not engage in the other activities because, "the flogging can get rather loud"...

the girl claims that she has been home and knows that her parents do what she and her brothers do, but when her parents get loud she covers her head with a pillow... she claims her parents have not instructed her in sexuality or hygiene, which is probably true based on her history of frequent vaginitis and very poor hygiene... she wets and soils herself when she is angry and refuses to clean herself so her mother or teacher will have to clean her... the doctor claims she is addicted to masturbation and she reports that she frequently humps her stuffed animals and has used the vacuum cleaner hose on her vagina while it is running because she doesn't have a vibrator... she claims she has "done it with the dog"...

the girl suffers from severe asthma and has also been labeled (or diagnosed) to have ADHD, PTSD, ODD, possibly Bipolar Disorder, enuresis, encopresis...

she is one of more than a hundred kids this facility treats at any given time...

she will not be eleven until next year...

and then we come to the hospital business, and business is exactly what it is... if you've read here in recent weeks and found a rant or few about the management at this hospital, then you probably won't be too surprised at this next bit of news...

the girl is our responsibility on this unit for up to twelve hours a day, perhaps longer some days... and none of this information about the girl would have been known to us if I did not go over to the other unit and bring her chart over here to read...

tonight, the first night we have this girl who was not identified to us in any way and before I had the chance to walk over to the other unit and read her chart, we heard the girl snoring loudly, breathing inconsistently, labored, and what sounded like sleep apnea, or the stopping of breathing for five, ten, or more seconds and then gagging or choking as the breathing started up again... I let the nurse know and observed the girl closely for about an hour, recording my observations in the girl's chart intending to finish the progress note at the end of the shift...

a bit later the shift charge nurse, who's unit the girl is technically assigned to, was on our unit and I asked her if our nurse let her know about the girl's breathing pattern... she said no, so I told her as she walked away (she has little respect for anyone who is not a nurse)... and the head nurse was talking to our unit nurse (who is a sub as Elpien is on vacation), I heard similar, though much less pronounces sounds of breathing distress and called both nurses to come listen for themselves...

as they listened I said I was going to finish the progress note I started... the shift charge nurse left the girl's doorway (she would not go in the room) and cut me off in order to pick up the chart as I was reaching for it and said, curtly, that I should leave charting to the nurses when it comes to medical issues because they know better...

typical...

I let her walk off with the chart knowing when she opened it she'd find my progress note in progress and would have to call and ask me to complete it... the girl is our responsibility and we should be writing a progress note as our shift progresses, so the charge nurse had no right to tell me not to and will have to figure out how to eat crow again... she gets herself into these situations a lot because she does not respect others or follow the rules much unless they are to her benefit...

anyway, we'll be listening to the girl's breathing and hopefully the doctor will seek more information from the staff responsible for observing the youth for eight hours a night, especially since there's an incomplete note in the chart, followed by a note from the shift charge nurse who observed the youth for thirty seconds from the doorway only after repeated requests that she do so...

Mark Twain might say at this point, in his wry subtly sarcastic way, that the trouble with the modern health care system is it's still run by people...






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