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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-04-06 - 7:57 p.m.

can you let it go?


time is so irrelevent in this world sometimes (and other times, time is everything, but this is not one of those times, I think)... I think sometimes I think some things that I think are profoundly meaningful and so relevant that everyone must immediately grasp the concept within their own brain-consciousness and wonder if there is a way for such instantaneous transmitttal of information to be conveyed... and other times, but often the same times, I wonder if the profundity of the thought I am thinking at that time is truly as profoundly meaningful as it appears to me at the time... this is one of those times and this is the thought that qualifies as such a thought: time is the imperative by which we judge everything...

what is the first thing you think of when you wake up?... most of the time, it is probably what time is it? (though occasionally where am I? might come first, I'd bet that what times is it? is one of the first conscious thoughts you have every time to return from sleep to consciousness...

when the idea of creating a meaninful relationship with another person comes to mind, what is the first thing you ask yourself about the person?... could it be how old are you?... in other words, how much time have you been alive?... it seems, at least from my experience as a human, that age is one of the most primary factors in how we relate to each other... we use age as a measuring stick and bring many expectations (prejudices?) to any interaction based on how old we perceive the other person to be...

often it is assumed that someone older or younger could not possibly understand who or where we are or how we feel... we pair up with people the same age as us early on in this life... we are put through a series of developmental stages through culture and school and just about everything we do... and in the end, we isolate most of ourselves from most others based purely on how much time each of us has been alive...

that seems so sad to me...

I think about this from time to time for I experience agism every day... I think we all do it to each other all the time and we turn a blind eye to how we treat others... just as we, in the USA, ignore the fact that on average we over-eat while many in this world go hungry and some suffer severe enough malnutrition to die of starvation... just as we, in the USA, ignore the fact that we consume more than half the planet's resources in exchange for our dollars and we, most people on this planet ignore the fact that such consumption will inevitibly lead to depletion of those things we've come to depend upon for our survival... that it will happen is not in question, but it is so far away in time that we can ignore it at this moment...

and as we walk through our day, children are not taken seriously as thinking, feeling people... a child with an idea that is right and true will be ignored or condemned if the idea does not fit into our current way of thinking... a child is property, by law and social practice, and in such too many bigger people who are called adults abuse their property in direct and indirect ways...

they are responsibilities to tend, burdens to carry, things that require your time and energy to help them survive... for some people, that responsibility, parenting, is a blessing... for others, it is a curse that uses up the precious time that they'd rather be devoting to themselves and activities deemed not safe or appropriate for children...

as we walk through our day, people who have lived many decades are discarded, avoided, and condemned to obscurity as far from our eyes and daily routines as possible... in some cultures throughout history, an old person was revered... that my be because there were so few and we moved slower through time... the rare person who lived beyond most others took on a special place in the lives of the people... but today there are so many, perhaps too many people who have been alive for enough time for their bodies to deteriorate to the point where they must rest more and perhaps need assistance to survive... much like the children, they become property...

again, the responsibility for others less independent than ourselves due to the time they have been alive is a blessing or a curse, a gift or a burden for those of us who are independently surviving...

why is it that we put so much importance on time, on age?... we can be rational and come up with some reasons that seem to make sense... time allows learning, knowledge, experience to be put into our brains and therein prepare us better to meet the tasks that life may present to us... time allows us to learn how to stand, to walk, to speak words and communicate, to add numbers, to calculate, to create, to produce... time gives us the opportunity to experience and share ourselves, others, life... time gives us a measure of duration, of presense, of being and with consciousness and motion, time gives us the sense of interacting with everything... without it, everything might be motionless and perhaps not continue to exist... without time, everything might be a still image, a three dimensional diorama...

and without living through time, without aging, we might have no change. no learning, no growth, no life... so perhaps times is as important and we make it out to be, even more important than we know or understand...

but what of age?... is it just an easy way of pre-judging what we expect or want from another person?... is it just an easy way of limiting our potential interactions and reducing the number of tasks or responsibilities we ask ourselves to take on?...

as a child, I was frustrated by the perception of how dependant I was supposed to be... I grew very tired, very quickly, of the way people treated me... I was told in many ways on a daily basis that I was powerless, that I did not know enough to have my own mind, that my feelings were invalid because I did not have the experience to understand whatever it was others who lived longer supposedly understood... I came to recognize that their percieved power and understanding was a pretense perpetuated to keep them in power, to hide their insecurities and ignorance, and to maintain the status quo... one of the first things I learn in this life is that most people fear change...

and as I grew, different restrictions were placed on me based mostly on how much time passed since the birth of this physical body I inhabit into this world... most made little sense... many were stupid... some were unfair, intrusive, even abusive...

I've come to detest the fear and insecurity, the ignorance and prejudice behind the divisions and limits we place on each other based on time, based on age... I mock the a/s/l (age/sex/location) questions that seem to be the first asked of others online (and this entry doesn't wander past the first / where there are just as many prejudices, fears, and ignorant assumptions and limits (again leading to unfair, intrusive, and abusive patterns of thinking and behavior)... I rant on this subject occasionally when something reminds me of how well I have learned to ignore the stereotypes and divisions and prejudices by which we all live (at least a little in some way, and bless anyone who truly does not)...

I am alone in this world in many ways because I tire of the ways we abuse time and each other based on time... so rarely do I find someone who shares the perspective that time is irrelevant, that age is just a number and mostly irrelevant (completely meaningless in so many ways)... what if a child was born with a brain that could absorb knowledge so rapidly that the child understood things no human ever could explain?... would that child be too young to relate to, to teach us?... what was that saying about a little child shall lead us?...

I come to these thoughts because the date above is the anniversary of my leaving the womb, the birthday of this body I live in... yeah, Happy Birthday to me...

and is your next thought... how old are you now?...

can you let it go?






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