LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
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THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-08-08 - 2:13 p.m.

we are what we know (we can be so much more)


and then I nodded off, but not for long for I was remembering what I was about to remember and reference for your edification and compromise (as is all that passes before your eyes, a vision of what your mind makes of what my mind makes of what passes before my eyes) a comment inspired by allowing myself to imagine being close within another's mind (an intimacy deeper than any) and releating to what I imagine her priorities to be...

like earlier this morning when I was slightly nodding off and visited nicim to start following through on my intention to start catching up on favorite writers and friends now that blogathon is over...

this is what happened:

you exhaust me... that means so many things and I think you understand most of them... emotions are so much easier when they are light and so much lighter when they are far away... so am I happy you are far away?... fifth of what?... November?... I don't want to work for it anymore... driven to distraction, he like the place, so he stayed a while... it's the sex, you know, when confused with love, therein is the greatest (or worst) weakness of all... at least for me... I think that's why I stay away from sex so well these days... it's so easy to do... that either makes me a genius or a fool, probably both depending on perspective... I could never say no to love though, until recently, when I equated love with sex... now I don't fall nearly so easily... defense mechanisms work well when you know yourself well, unfortunately... like you say, DUH!

which is something like taking various snips of references from the entry to which the comment was intended and my own private subconscious too deep for me to explain, kinda like the bumps on one's head, and shaking them around until all that comes out is random snippets of the original snips so deep and profoundly meaningful that there's no way to know what the heck is going on...

or what I meant to say is anyone who could possibly tell me what I meant to say will be appreciated far beyond what I meant to say...

this entry is a mind-dump of sorts, leftovers and scrappings from the depths of my psyche and the dust floating about in the seldom visited recesses, like clouds in the night sky changing as the moon slides through them...

Garuk: My dear doctor, they're all true.
Bashir: Even the lies?
Garuk: Especially the lies.

sometimes, when you least expect it and are least prepared for it, or so it seems, the random energy waves of fiction lead to more reality than any reality ever was... but then, we only understand exactly what we can handle and not one iota more...

ultimately, I might be one who could save your soul, for whatever a soul might be, or to place it in different words but mean the same thing, to provide the precise inspiration required by your psyche to remedy whatv is wrong, to heal what is unhealed, to cure what requires curing, and to break through the last remaining barriers between you and yourself, the ultimate development of the being you seek in yourself in this life...

or I could just be a pain in your arse...

it is mostly for you to decide, but only mostly... the proof of the pudding will be the compromise reached, the fulfillment of mutual fantasies no matter how diverse or challenging to the subconscious insecurities neither acknowledged nor believed by the conscious mind... as ego is pulverized into particles too small to be measurable and all that is left to do is dissolve into trust so unconditional, there is no clear individuality beyond or within collective identity, if but for that one moment when all is one and we are part of the whole of everything...

and then, to emerge from the primordial unconsciousness reborn, renewed, and whole with greater clarity of individual identity than ever before with mutual and separate trust still intact, the best of both worlds as separate partners sharing the same dream and welcoming each other as apart and conjoined spirits (or energy entities) that compliment and surrogate each other...

there is always room for two more, if that be the pairing, or at least one more to complete a triad, a solid combination of bonded energies...

why did the chicken cross the road?
because it was in a fast food commercial

and from the mouths of heavy metal chickens comes the soft underbody of laughter, as lust found in comfort cresents, as passion found in the fertile triangle, as promise found in the mix of innocence and innocence in nubile flesh, lust has a mind of it's own... should it be explained, it is distracted... should it be compromised, it is defeated... should it be shared, it may complete us... if the mind remains open... if the heart remains free... if the spirit, the anima, the energy attains and remains at one with all... then one complete being can merge with another and become a third complete entity...

and won't the sex be great by then?...

hearing the far away laughter of children who do not understand the confabulations of hiding from hormones or repressing desires, yet simultaneously have not the experience to bring anything but imagination to the mix, the music of the mind and heartbeats supplants the physical touches and the ethereal brings orgasm beyond belief (unless one has secure belief in infinite possibilities)...

the heartbeat speaks volumes to the body, forever falling in love with the idea of falling in love until, one day, it is burned beyond recognition and then all hope is either lost or transformed from ignorant innocence into what we might call maturity, but there the road divides and but a few dare to travel beyond the pain into the void where the ultimate answers can be found, where the distant voices of stars can be heard...

Ethos:
...and wouldst thou trust thy lust to forgo forgone conclusions and put aside your own desire long enough to seek the ultimate satisfaction of my lust, be it with or without you, if I give you the same gift?
Egos:
Nay veriliy, truth is fiction but the mind, there is all there is to know.
Panthos:
Self-sacrifice, endowment, or cooperation?
Egos:
Selfish indulgence, all.
Vanos:
Thy perspective betrays your vision, thy desire precludes your judgment, thy quest answers thy question.
Ethos:
Then there is no answer but that which might be?
All:
Exactly.

I wish to be known... I wish someone would (could) understand all I meant... I wish I did not pretend I didn't just to obscure the view of my core from those who's misunderstandings might inadvertently cause harm, or those who's confusion and fear might strike out in defense or even anger at their own losses, at aspects of self I refuse to lose... I wish each one would focus on their own strengths and weaknesses, using their strengths not to push others away or even attack others as a distraction from their own insecurity, but to dare face their own fears and raise their own consciousness to the point of forgiveness of self and therein, have no need to react in fear and finally return to the womb of consciousness where we can feel the security of love and react with truth...

it may all be a mind game, a figment of imagination, a novel written by our psyche... the drama and passion and every feeling may be all illusion created to fend off boredom or even for the amusement of beings beyond our consciousness... the limits of our perspective provide answers that depend on the limits of our perspectives to be right...

everything we know could be wrong...

but sometimes, late at night, when all the world is sleeping naught the children who dream in that moment between sleep and awake, I imagine I too hear the voices of the stars... and I am at once amazed and reassured by their conversation for the ultimate conclusion is the riddle within the riddle, that the end of everything is the beginning of nothing and that is something to look forward to, for there we find the ultimate unknown...

and most nights, when I listen to the stars, all I hear are lullabies... and most nights, when I listen to the stars, lullabies are quite enough...

for knowing there is always more does not mean always wanting or reaching for more... sometimes just the knowing is enough...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

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favorites

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HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
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(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

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