I want to thank the thousands of you who attended my open house (some of you long-time DLanders might know me as candora or funda or by some other name... there, the secret is out... no worries, this entry will slip into the obscurity of the archives before too long... and now, before too many can say about time, on with this entry) and followed the links to read everything there is to know about this and that and the secret me who is really behind the scenes writing this and other diaries and journals and blogs all over the web since the early nineties (and who remembers the BBS?) and previous centuries under pseudonyms and other convolutions of identity... I shall not indulge the speaking in toncues just now, but suffice to say agnos nirvana nikto and let that be a lesson for us all... of course stats don't always reflect the amazing things some of you do, for instance, that wonderful person who sat at her computer one year, back when I took counters more seriously, and clicked on one of my sites a few thousand times in order to give me the impression that I had that many visitors (what an oddly thoughtful birthday gift that was, aye?)... you are all precious to me for giving your time and energy here and for believing in me (better than chocolate), we are both blessed... yes, you bless someone when you believe in them, you know... so the open house shall remain for anyone who wishes to explore and know (and the rest of you who do not have the time or interest, well, you are welcome to continue wondering)...

or fantasize...

speaking of libido (where we?) and/or creative writing, stretching imagination to challenge my own selfish fantasies (cuz I want Hermione for myself, I think... go ahead, giggle... or sneer... or tsk tsk me, I can take it) I find a fan fic for the Harry Potter story that has Hermione happilly in the throes of passion, lost to her lusts, apparently torn between rabid sex with the older Snape and the older Malfoy (with Draco attempting to woo her too and her considering him a better friend than Harry, who appear portrayed as an insensitive idiot at times... and yes, you heard right... no, I don't think this is meant to be a pedophilic story, though many May-December romances, especially when the younger is a teen and may be under 18, might leans toward such fantasies for those who have them) and carrying the older Malfoy's love-child... swallow and go read, cuz I sure want to find out how all that happened (and whether it can be made plausible... maybe Harry Potter is not the hero of his own story after all, at least from this fanfic writer's point of view)...

smoog thinks I'm a stalker... I'm not sure if I should be flattered or amused (or both)... in any case, go read one of the my favorite irreverent writers at Dland cuz she is worth your attention no matter what she thinks of me... and send her money if you've got it, cuz then maybe she'll stop being so paranoid... and isn't this a test of her sense of humor...

I still want to see her hair...

and speaking of great eyes (you've got to explore the links to get the joke), once again I recognize born early just from her eyes in her banner and I am reminded of that warm kinship I feel for her even though we've never actually kinshipped much in this life... her devotion to her music is compelling for the closet musician in me as I dream a bass will join me and fill the bottom in, among other musical dreams I dream every day, at least... and her endearing honesty makes me want to hear her sing and add to the applause she deserves...

see, I'm not just a stalker of weird hair, I am also a groupie...

must be the eyes...

but seriously, I don't actually have time to be a good stalker today as my failed attempts at being a good stalker to nebby (gifted writer who just celebrated a birthday and kick me for being late as usual) or this cute thing (who is secretly a genius in disguise) or Scottie (who has yet to beam me up) or so many others immortalized in love songs on Planet Candora...

yes, mcearstix too...

I expect you to chastize me in email for leaving you out (and you each know who you are), cuz if you don't how will I ever know that my failed stalking attempts ever meant anything to you.. and thank you especially for laughing at me (and for the CDs I just picked up today... and you know you don't have to send me music to have me adore you, but it sure does work to get you revered in my diary, huh?... or email and snail mail from you that I still awaits response on my makeshift desk... all you snail mailers are beautiful, ya know... and as you know, I don't forget, I just have so many adoring fans (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0 (ok, I'll stop now, after all, I wouldn't want to embarrass any body else {much}with my awesome stalking abilities... other than myself, huh?), pulling at my sleeves that time runs out before I can make love to them all... mock me, please, before my ego explodes)...

seriously, so many more of you thank can be listed in my favorites deserve more visits and praise and adoration and stalking (the good kind that gives respect and makes people friends, I am trying to be serious in this paragraph, after all) that I wish I could be a professional diary reader so I could spend my days loafing around the house reading diaries at my leisure and indulging every lazy fantasy I've ever had (oh yes, and leave you all daily notes of adoration, cuz that's what a professional diary reader is paid for, right?)...

it is fun to dream...

speaking of dreams, are you (any musician out there) looking for lyrics for your music?... try candora for love and romance (and the occasional thoughtful pondering) or many more of varieties from raging anger to sexual graphics to social consciousness to innocent dreams... and teasing, lots of teasing... and I thank you all for putting up with my teasings (hopefully you know who you are)...

as usual, I ust go to work now (oh no, not reality)... I wish you all wondrous dreams and even better fantasies (and all the attention you deserve, or can stand) and may ever drop of energy sent your way through cyberspace or the physical world be honest, loving, and a positive inspiration for you to carry with you as you reach for your dreams and live the best life you can live... yeah, that's the reality I wish to leave you with tonight... and every night...

bless you, every one J

...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)