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2007-02-05 - 4:13 a.m. the heart of the matter well, I suppose that this kinda sorta definitively proves that I am the own worst enemy of my desire to share in how I allow my brain to pour out as I do and of late, even more radically in sudden binges as opposed to a constant flow (giving you, dear readers, the opportunity to forget your habit of coming to visit or to have a choice between drowning in words on a daily basis or drowning in words on a semi-monthly basis), but then, why should my mind and the writer be any less me (and challenging to get close to) than libido and the body or ego and the heart or cosmos and the anima or the holy writ and the spirit of ka ka...
hmmmm... well, if you can stop mentally masturbating to your favorite TV personality (or wherever you find your libido fantasy image in your mind) long enough to compound your misunderstanding of the words by reading on a bit further, you may find a brief synopsis of the 22 entries that appeared just days ago forget the Titans, remember the Talmud! and stop sitting there all doe-eyed as if I said something you didn't understand because you really should make it that obvious, especially not when you're reading this in a library or other public place... and don't forget to step back when the computer starts smoking...
but how do you stop an exploding man? 42, 24, 23, 22, 17, 9... number nine, number nine... she was always seventeen... five foot two, eyes of two... ask Jim Carrey about 23... and Donald Sutherland's son, Jack, about 24... and the computer the mice built about 42... as for me, if those numbers win the lottery tonight I'll sure be sad I didn't play them... and laughing at myself as usual, or more than usual, actually... but I gave you the answer, so you can tell the wind it can rest now... let something else blow you for a change... what about Bob?... oh no, not another quixotic crusade looming on the horizon... what replaces masturbation for the teenage mind when the hormones slow down might have always fascinated the female of the species (who is known to be more in tune with everything, though less apt to show it for being less in tune with the egocentric hunger to express identity and spread her seed as far and wide as possible)... possibly... I mean, that was possibly a question, probably if you look at it with strict grammatical acuity, but then, they are your eyes, after all, so who am I to tell you what you see or do not see?... or what is or isn't... see?... don't you wish your life was a non-stop celluloid movie-show?... only when I laugh... or cry... or want to watch... you just wouldn't understand if you are not at least part voyeur... and if you think you are not, well, tell me again the next time you drive by a serious car accident or see a wardrobe malfunction on TV or running down your street, even... really, your neighbor is the epitome of what you consider sexy and innocently changes in front of a window that faces your yard and you just happen to be fixing your roof and glance down into the window, what do you do?...
dedicated to dedication to the word, I mean, not The Word as some might believe, and not even the words as in word. as some might represent, but the word as in the word as the expression of everything from what is to an absence of what is (and whether that would be what isn't or simply a void for there is no isn't {following this logic of faith as some might profess with or without following the same logic to the conclusion of undoing [or hammer, though whether it was Thor's or of different origin is still up for debate, not to alter it's shattering ability] as thought streams radiate outward in infinite directions [which is slightly different than every direction, but you might need to study a bit of quantum mechanics and the next level to go there, even in this parenthetic aside] within a parenthetic aside} within this parenthetic aside, or anywhere for that matter) obviously not a straight line, though it might be a hammer, regardless of shape or direction...
well, you will just have to read for yourself (with your own eyes and mind, ya know?) to gather whatever wits you've got for further understanding, or comprehension, even... what I will offer you as a consolation in conclusion here within is my heart in a box, a representation of love for you for caring enough to not only come here to check on me, but to stick around long enough to reach this place on this page on your computer screen for it is here, right here where you can put your finger and feel the appreciation and wonder I feel just because you are right her reading my outpouring of love for you... go ahead, touch my heart...
J
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