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2009-11-26 - 5:12 a.m. header
and i was pondering so many things and the life i live and the activities i do and the stuff i want to do but do not get to do and the stuff left unfinished all around me (time to do the dishes?... finish the laundry?... put stuff away?... get to the gym?... get back into music?... find me somebody to love?... masturbate more?... ponder the universe?) and i came to the conclusion that i need more head, hence, give me head which turned into the following entry, though it expands here as entries are apt to do, behind the candoor, where the babbler lives... what i meant was, and still mean, by the head remark, i mean, is that i need more brain, specifically, more brain cells, more particularly, more information connected to my brain... i am missing stuff i should not be missing for the first time in this life and that is not simply aging but it is more, deeper, where nobody cares to go these days (did anyone ever, really?... i don't think so, alas, sigh, poo... don't be too sad, you've got your life and it's got more active loving in it than mine, even if you think it's not as deep or i somehow have something more somehow... what's it worth if it isn't shared, after all... count your blessings and enjoy them)... anyway, back to whatever i was getting to before that brief parenthetic long and winding road, so maybe in many ways i just need better organization and efficiency and time management... and what brings this on, you might ask (cuz you do care, even when you aren't here, we know... even when we forget to remember sometimes) and, well, it isn't cuz i occasionally look up and listen to robin wright laugh while bantering with craig (or was that natalie portman with dave?... ah, memories of long island ice princesses, the deadly attraction that could have been a very different path in this life... i wonder if i'd have fared {or survived} any better), though i do find her most appealing in part cuz of the fond memories of the princess bride which reamins on of my favorite films of all time, but then, of course, it was all about true love and that is my reason for living, after all)...
oh yes, so yes, oh yes, babble... old friend, i've missed you... yes, old friend babble and more, olf friends of babble, your heart and mind are missed dearly (and not just by ego who is suffering from a dastardly lack of stroking of late, but then, we all know how insatiable the fool is, so return to ignoring him for all our good)... still, i do wish you were here, but in your absence, i continue... see, the point of the title is/was inspired or prompted or at least directly related to the fact that i appear to have missed out on a $229 netbook that would have been perfect timing (even though it was/is a gateway and i promised myself never to buy a gateway product due to consumer reports and personal anecdotal evidence too) since i am heading south for a few days in a couple of days and i would have bought it (the netbook) if they had one at the store i visited today (i even asked to buy the floor model) after getting my softball pants hemmed (and on a completely different subject, sort of, though consumerism does bring them together so the subject is not all that different after all, anyway, while waiting for the same-day hemming, i wandered around the burlington coat factory and somehow found myself leaving with close to $500 worth of clothes that i may never wear, but maybe i will finally dress in pants and shirts {and ties?} instead of the fancy sweats i wear most of the time these days, for years, actually... yes, so i actually bought three pair of semi-dress pants and three ties and at least twice three shirts {that would be six, or a half dozen, at least, aye?} and two pair of shoes, or some sort of footwear and a jacket for cooler softball nights and a jacket for smoking, not that i smoke, but it's one of those smoking jackets you might find worn by alcoholic writers obscurely drifting through life on the left bank {of paris, of course}, which might make me cooler than i am if i wear it to the local poetry slams or something like that... perhaps it's time to close this parentheses)... yes, so anyway, beyond the mourning of missing the partner of my dreams who might dress me up and take me out now and then and inspire me to take care of this body so it's visually worth showing off and healthier, more importantly, after all, it's all just illusion, la la land or not, yeah, so i was saying that i was a bit perturbed that i missed this $229 netbook and every best buy in florida is sold out except one and that one is between miami and ft. lauderdale and i am going to be in ft. lauderdale friday through sunday, so i tried to order it online but the site wouldn't work for some reason and i am hoping it is cuz it only works when the store is open and not cuz of the sucky att internet connection and... pause... yes, i paused... a sudden and compelling message from down under arrived and it was necessary to responde, as if to prove the point, and now i am munching on banana nut crunch and dr pepper cherry while hearing (not necessarily listening to, mind you) wolfgang puck cooking some sort of thanksgiving foods on craig ferguson (in case you didn't know i meant him when i mentioned craig earlier) and i sat back down here cuz i suddenly left the previous paragraph due to a call from the bladder and while sitting here munching on banana nut crunch and dr pepper cherry, i glanced over at the computer and said to myself... was i writing something?... and the mind whirled as if it had wheels and gears and stuff like cartoons... an entry?... blog post?... epic prose, massive missive, or some other literary cliche?) and there you have it, whatever it is... proving the point, no doubt... i mean the need for more brain cells... or at least for much better connectivity, organization, efficiency, time management, and head, or something like that... there really wasn't any sexual innuendo intended when this all began, so feel free to chastize yourself for your dirty mind, or act on it, whichever comes first... we can take turns if you like... anyway, again, back in the day, when yesterday was young and i had lots of fans eagerly awaiting word-filled paper from me in their un-electronic mailboxes (before the death of snail mail, and i was just realizing as i passed my pop box for the twentieth or thirtieth day in a row that, in so many ways it has died, for me, at least... i may half left my heart in san francisco, or brooklyn, but i left my mail in toronto... somewhere in there are several songs, but let's get back to wherever i was writing about before this latest parenthetic aside), this sort of disjointed babbling was received quite well by the looney toons (and lunatics) who read me back then... but i wonder how much actual communicating was/is going on... and i wonder how much entertainment value there was/is and is/was it worth the time... anyway, i munch away at my banana nut crunch and ponder how to pick up that netbook at 21035 Biscayne Blvd, Aventura, FL 33180 (wanna meet me there and run away with me to wherever?) and realize the only reason i want the netbook is cuz of the writing jones that has, in many ways, dominated this life and me and in other ways, interfered with relationships that might have been and created relationships that may not have been and even may have saved relationships if i would have indulged the jones a bit more at critical times, but then, who knows what might have been and whatever will be will be, so why bother... what?... yes, this is the point where i realized and acknowledged, or at least acknowledged that this is a babbling entry that belongs in the babbling place that was not supposed to be RealTime (poor RealTime, you were a good idea while you lasted, really you were and for babble lovers, you still are), but became RealTime (alas, dear RealTime, i knew you well) cuz it was easier and faster to manuever around blogger than it was (and still is) at diaryland even in the days of crappy internet connection like these days (did i mentioned att still ssssssucks?), but luckily i caught the babbler before this went on any further in the brief spaces of thereal so it did not turn thereal (ah, there still may be hope for you yet) into a babbling place, which was not the intention for thereal, and i moved these words and summarize somewhat, or something like that... what some what?... i should probably cut back on the dr pepper cherry soon as the sugar hangover will not be fun (and i am not even tasting the sweet anymore) and i really need to be in optimal shape (as much as that can be, though i did buy waist 36 pants {and they fit and i ought to drop another twenty pounds at least so what will i be, 34 again?... 32?... eeek and yeah, the excitement continues to burp} and large shirts today which is a sign that i do not intend to blow up any further and hopefully will continue to drop back under 180 and further in the near-ish future) come friday saturday and sunday for the softball tournament in ft. lauderdale and yes, the thought of stopping by the condo to see if the old man is still alive has crossed my mind but there really will not be time for that as the team has almost every moment planned as a team, but we shall see... and so i will put together another playlist now... starting with... lenka's the show (this could be some scary fun, aye?)...
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