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�2006 Candor Communications


2007-01-27 - 4:50 a.m.

what grade are we in again? (part 2)


this entry is continued from the previous entry, just in case the title didn't give you that clue... and the previous entry is apparently the result of the entry before that one... I decided to pull together the information and write these three entries here to remind myself (and anyone who cares) about the traps of expectations and judgments and trying to play power trips on others... and more than anything else, to put these words on the web into perspective... we do not really know each other... we know what we think we know based on how we read the words we read... selective, biased, and very incomplete knowledge... enough to enjoy sharing, but definitely not enough to make any kind of value judgment on someone's character without taking a great leap of faith...

I very much appreciate those of you who take that leap of faith and think positive things about me... I deserve them, but you don't know that for sure, so thank you for leaping into the positive... these entries are a reminder to me not to leap into the negative... so we continue now from where the previous entry left off...


having found out who tried to pull me into this internet drama (not yet knowing the extent of the drama), I tried sending a note (since my reply opportunity was blocked) to the person who sent me the "Removing You" message (was I falling for the provocative bait?) asking what the problem was and what I did... the reply was basically an ultimatum to delete the popular person or remain deleted from her list... hence, the title of these entries... I didn't respond... I did not play those sort of power trip games in grade school...

I sent this explanation to the friend who knows both of the people a whole lot better than I do (I never spoke to either, not even in a text conversation, just a few comments scattered over the years)... he told me a bit of what was going on and called my message to him cryptic (hey, I didn't know anything myself) so I continued like this:

I didn't know much more than I wrote when I wrote to you, didn't mean to be cryptic :)

I got a message from someone with a name and photo I didn't recognize that said "Removing you" and "Sorry, but to encourage ---- is to encourage what he did to me. No thanks."

I didn't know I encouraged anyone to do anything other than chill out and get over some internet misunderstanding that involved someone posting his personal emails and badmouthing him in public.

I caught up on some reading and saw an entry or two where ----- was prostrating himself with public apologies and expressing how bad he felt and how upset he was about someone rejecting him. He accepted the responsibility for the misunderstanding (at least that's what he wrote), so I wrote a long comment in one of his myspace blog posts that reflected my perspective on the internet and words and how it's easy to take it all too seriously and overreact and do/say things we'd probably never do/say in the real world.

that inspired me to remember my "word" entry and I linked it and rambled a bit in his blog, but did I encourage him to do something wrong to someone else?

don't think so :)

and then later that day, as if someone was sitting and monitoring his comments just looking for negativity, someone sent me a message telling me they were "removing me" (their words) because I left a positive message for him. In other words, drop him from my friends list or I am "removed" (as if that mattered in the real world).

I had no idea who sent the "Removing you" message, did not recognize the name or the picture. So out of curiosity I wandered around, found no clue as to why someone would judge me as not worth their time just cuz I left a message for -----, and then left a message for you cuz you know everything :)

the next day I see the name had changed on the same cryptic "Removing you" message in my myspace inbox to one I recognized with a picture on it so I knew who actually sent it. Still didn't make any sense to me since I did nothing to that person. I was blocked from replying even. So it seemed she was into slapping me out of the blue and not even letting me reply, hence my wtf? and asking you :)

make more sense to you now? :)

anyway, with what you say, now it make a little more sense, but still seems to suggest that the one playing victim is being way paranoid, assuming negatives where there are none, and overreacting and being judgmental - at least in my case.

that leads me to wonder if she didn't do the same to him and he just reacted as if being "removed" was the end of the world and even an attempt to reconcile was viewed as stalking (cuz that is his side of the story).

I suppose that is what happens when two people who practically live on the net and take the whole cyber-stuff way too seriously. A little misunderstanding and their whole ego and self-worth and world comes crashing down and spins out of control.

Like I should be crushed that someone deems me unworthy of being one of their friends because I choose to leave someone they don't like one rambling comment about the philosophy of the internet? :)

I wonder, did she really publicly post his private emails, call him a stalker, and call the police as he said?. To me, that is two people taking the internet way too seriously and getting way too paranoid and self-important (like judging and "removing" me and telling me about it as if my world revolves around her?).

Am I gonna call me a stalker now because I tried to reply? :)

Will others get in line to slap me cuz she seems to be asking people to take sides? :)

Anyway, I don't know her side of the story because she (under an assumed name even) judged me as not worth telling, but obviously I had to be informed under an assumed name and rather cryptically that I was "removed". She definitely would have triggered my defenses and insecurities if I had any left :)

Seriously though, it's myspace. I've got so many people on my myspace, I hardly have any idea who is coming or going (and people come and go daily), unless they go out of their way to inform me that I am removed. Maybe I should not be laughing, but is seems rather self-righteous and distorted thinking to me and you know how much the self-righteous amuse me :)

ok, I'll be good and stop laughing and the insecurities of mere mortals. The best thing about this is it inspired me to say hello to you and write all these babbling words to you. So when are you coming to Florida? (am I stalking you now cuz I invited you to come sleep on my couch? :)

it's not easy to be good :)

I am a prophet, after all. My most recent entries here at myspace and at diaryland prove that since they were written a week before I knew anything about this argument these two are having. I hope it all works out for them and they don't try to drag me into their mess, but she certainly seemed to slap me for leaving him a comment, aye? Will I be the villain in her next entry?

Paranoia is way too amusing to me, especially in my line of work (or probably because of my line of work... I'll stop now :)

Thanks for listening to me amuse myself and ramble on. I hope life is great for you this weekend and always cuz you definitely deserve greatness :)



well, I vented (cuz unjustified accusations and judgments irk me) as I found out that I was just being smacked down for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and saying keep your chin up to someone who was down... petty grade school games if you ask me... and so I remind myself that trusting words online is foolish, but believing something negative about anyone based solely on words online is just plain stupid... there's plenty of positivity around, focus on that...

and try to be happy J






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