so I woke in a really great mood, way too happy and bouncy, so I decided to drop some of it in comments around the web... I spend most of my time at myspace these days because the population is so much bigger than anywhere else and there is so much music to explore it's like a dream world for the musicoholic I am...

myspace is so odd though... I have no idea where people keep finding me and adding, but what's even more odd is I keep getting comments and add request from deleted accounts... people seem to come and go with the wind... many enjoy the anonymity for their own reasons... the irony is that I seldom get comments from the people on my top friends list, which is one of the most grade-school aspects of myspace... some I hardly know are there cuz they were there from the beginning and I don't have the heart to delete anyone... the irony there is those probably don't know or care about being on my profile page... when I get a new computer one of the first things I am going to do over there is find a profile template that presents friends very differently, but I don't take the 'top friends' feature seriously...

anyway, I head over to myspace and find the usual add requests, messages, comments, and blog comments, but one of the messages is puzzlingly cryptic... it just says "Removing You" in the subject and one line accusing me of supporting someone doing something apparently bad to someone else (I was clueless to the meaning of the message, but I was apparently judged and found wanting)... no identifying information and I didn't recognize the name or the photo...

wtf?...

I always wanted a reason to use that wtf thing :)

yes, I was amused more than hurt or offended, though rejection, even on the superficial level of an anonymous person online at myspace, still stings for a bit because I am that ridiculously sensitive (but that is my choice)... in any case, it was a mystery and being the curious sort I explored - so a bit more seriously, I asked around to find out what was going on at myspace that would have someone I barely know slap me (and such a message does feel like a slap) as if I did something wrong?... I had no idea who the sender was (the ID and photo was apparently changed when I was sent the message), I just knew that someone was accusing someone else of doing something wrong to someone else and I was caught in the crossfire...

it turns out that the drama at myspace is not limited to the teenagers... two people at least twenty years removed from their teens (probably closer to thirty) were at odds with each other and one of them was trying to pull their mutual friends into the dispute... it was a scenario of I don't like what you did so I'm going to tell all your friends not to like you anymore... how childish is that?... what I found out was this went as far as this victim was called the police over this... anyway, before I even knew who was doing it, I went to the person accused of stalking and harassment and left the rambling comment about the nature of internet relationships, which you hopefully read in the previous entry so you have a better understanding of this (I mean, if you want to understand)...

I chose to click reply on the cryptic anonymous rejection message and write this:

Hi :)

My first reaction is huh? (with a perplexed smile :)

My second reaction is laughter, not at you, but at the concept of "Removing you." Sounds so important and official, like I had a trial and was found guilty or not worthy or something (but that's my odd sense of humor and perspective on the whole internet experience as you may already know if you've ready much of me :)

I always start with a smile and laugh because I have no idea why we should not be smiling and laughing (I hope you get that :)

Seriously (yeah, with punctuation and all), who are you? I have no idea what went on between you two and I did not know who or what was talked about or done until you sent me this message that tells me nothing except you are removing me because I left someone a message.

I do know that I did not encourage anyone to do anything to anyone, so I do not understand your message. I saw a friend hurting over words shared on the net and offered solace and my perspective on internet relationships and communications.

Your message does read rather accusatory to my eyes, but then, perhaps that is my misunderstanding of your words. I do not know your intent.

We are strangers. You do not know me, I do not know you. This "removal" is proof of that for me. Are you judging me as if you know me as someone not worth knowing or reading or keeping on your list?

I wonder why.

In any case, no need to be sorry, do what you think is right. No offense intended or taken. You have every right to add or delete anyone from your internet web space. You don't even have to satisfy my curiosity. You don't even have to tell me who you are. You are still welcome in my space anytime.

I hope you find your way through any negativity you are experiencing and find and create more smiles than frowns in your life :)

honest love, ric

much to my surprise, that message was returned to me... I was apparently blocked from even replying to the anonymous judgment and rejection... so much for an open mind or understanding or caring...

so I asked this of one of my online friends:

I've been tried and found guilty of not being worth knowing or reading by someone and have no idea why (gotta laugh about someone so self-important that they would do such a thing :)

anyway, since the judge apparently blocked any reply I might have to his/her message, I thought maybe you knew what's going on in this person's world that would spill over with negativity into mine?

are we gonna have a war? lol :)

anyway, back to what matters, have much fun in the real world this weekend :)

and I heard back that one person (the popular one) and another person had a misunderstanding and the popular person freaked out being rejected and called and wrote emails... I went to the popular person's site and read public apologies for overreacting and acting childish that did not name the other person or accuse them of anything... the words did read as apologies and taking responsibility...

at the other person's myspace page I was locked out (what'd I do?), but saw blog entries entitled "my stalker's whereabouts" and such... that lead me to wonder if this person was attempting to publicly humiliate and divide friends (would someone actually put a house address and telephone number of someone else up on the web with such a blog title?)...

can you stand the suspense?...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)