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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-12-13 - 1:12 a.m.

government man 2 (part 1)


yeah, yeah, I'm cheating and watering down the babble and if I didn't mention it only the few who have been here a while would know and I shouldn't give away state secrets and pull the curtain back from the great and powerful and all that...

anyway...

when we last left our government man, he was trying to cover his butt by suddenly pointing out that we had a deadline less than three weeks away (14 working days and let's not forget it's holiday season) that could cost the hospital it's license and more...

but why, oh mighty government liaison and overseer and protector of the meek and underprivileged and abused children of the world (or at least the state of Florida), did one of your minions (namely me) get away with not entering any data for the second half of 2006?...

I can only imagine that's what some higher mucky muck in his department asked when they reminded him about his deadline... you can kind of see panic all over his writing this week... see, just this week, in his effort to cover his butt, our government man decided to challenge me with insinuations that he's done his part all along and I've been dragging my feet... basically, he said that he sent me an email telling me he gave me the go-ahead to start entering my data on November 17th...

woop dee do... that would still be ridiculous since we have data from back to July 1st, but the government is comfortable with the ridiculous, I mean, just look at politicians from the top on down...

but this is my personal journey through the bowels of governmental madness, so let's leave the Presidents out of this... I mean, nobody's offering me an on-the-job blow job...

why couldn't I get a cute government grrrl liaison, anyway?...

now, seriously, as you may recall, they closed the database on July 1st... and our data started piling up (is there an echo in here?)... and further, as you may recall, they said it would be open again on September 1st... st.. st... st... yes, and from what we've heard from former database operators and fans, the database was always problematic and desperately needed an overhaul, so there was some hope in my officemate's eyes as she told me how horrific dealing with this particular aspect of the job could be...

and so like any good government project, they had delays and cost overruns (and probably some wild parties) and finally semi-opened the database in late September, only to close it on and off for repairs and fixes and adjustments all through October and November...

and our data continued to pile up...

meanwhile, I started the job in early September and all the rest of the job is running smoothly because I had access to all the rest of the job (and there are three other databases I enter data into for outside agencies and several I created and maintain internally for the hospital)... and it was way back at the end of August that I put my paperwork through to get security clearance for access to the database... it's a government database, after all, and everybody knows the government has much to protect so I had to sell my right eyeball and left kidney and read the bill of rights backwards (cuz that's how it's interpreted and enforced by the government these days) in Armenian to just get an application...

about six weeks go by and I still don't have access and I'm started to wonder if they want both kidneys and finally, after at least an email a week to the government man encouraging him to let me do my job, he investigates (calls the capitol) and finds out that he did not tell us that he did not know that there was a revised application form and we used the one we had so the state rejected my application...

start again...

meanwhile, our data continued to pile up...

so I send through another application (and several other body parts along with a recording of the Star Spangled Banner in Vietnamese and seven rockets bursting in air) and finally, the second week in November, I am granted security clearance... but did I mention the our hospital changed owners on September 1st?...

yes, well, that some changes had to happen at the government end and they had to be made by, yes, our government man...

basically, what with our hospital getting a new provider ID number in the state system, it meant that the previous hospital no longer existed... it closed... it was a ghost hospital... old news... not even syndicated into reruns... all well and good in business, perhaps, but when you are in the business of tracking data on patients in a hospital over the course of their stay, a rather interesting dilemma...

see, the patients, at least according to the state, started a new course of treatment in a new hospital as of September 1st... the state wanted every kid to have new evaluations as if they were just starting anew and to hell with the weeks or months or, in a few cases, years of treatment they had previously... so much for accurate reporting on their actual course of treatment...

meanwhile, our government man held up my data entry until finally he had the database ready for our new hospital on November 17th... so finally, on November 17th, he sent me an email saying I could start entering data... of course that was late on a Friday afternoon... so Monday morning, the 20th, I start gathering my piles of reports and explore the database in depth for the first time...

and to our great surprise (dripping with sarcasm, am I?), I find our government man did not correct some of the things I found on my brief visit almost three weeks before... and ultimately, he never answered the most important questions, the fact that discarding all previous data on our kids and starting over on September 1st meant three things...

1. a whole lot more paperwork work for our clinicians...
2. the rendering of any measures of treatment we've provided as a hospital as meaningless and simply wrong...
3. and worst of all, a complete distortion of the progress the kids have made during their course of treatment...

our government man says that's just the way it is when a new corporation buys an existing residential hospital as if the fact that it happens all the time makes it perfectly ok...

but wait, it was just this past Monday, December 11th, that he sent the suggestive email insinuating I was dragging my feet since November 17th, right?.. well, since you want to know if I am really a goldbricking abuser of children's data and what actually happened, on that Monday the 20th of November when I actually had access for the first time, I'll tell you...


in the next entry...






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