and as the excitement continues to build for the visitation of the mighty Frances (for the few of you who might actually experience life in black and white in real-time with me (as close as we can get is what Stephen King would call "constant reader" wherein you have the computer power to keep this rambling connection with the world open all the time so you can check in whenever there's an update even though I do not have a notify list to send you an email and remind you every time I update this life and black and white diary but if you think i should I could always get one but I haven't for reasons we can get into another time since I've distracted us from the initial point of this entry long enough for one parentheses within a parentheses, huh?} and have I told you lately how much I love you for this?... well, I would if I knew you were there {407-325-1482} and you can let me know by letting me know through on of the options on the left or best of them all, you could call if you know the number), we have new news to celebrate... I finally have a gmail account!... yes, a gmail account! (I've been begging for one long enough, aye?)... yes, an exclamation point!... aren't you excited?... aren't you thrilled?... aren't you just dying to know the address?...

a-hem...

no, the address is not a-hem, it's candoor (I decided to get clever and use my name, but my name was already taken as usual, so I did what I did with this diary... of course all the SPAMmers in the world will probably get to the dang email address before anyone else does, but there's a gigabyte of storage space so they same there's no need to delete mail cuz you can search through it but since I get a few megabytes of spam at my olde primary addresses every day, I suppose it'll fill up eventually... it even seems to work ok with my little laptop, so far... so anyway, I have a new gmail account... now what to do?...

I must remember to never put the address on a webpage without altering it so the spiders and email address collecting robots do not suck the life blood out of it... so I won't put the address here or anywhere in any obvious way (but then how do you know it?... and if nobody knows it, how will it get used?... and if nobody knows, how will I get mail there?... and if I don't get mail there, what's the point of having it?... and if I didn't have it, it would be as if the last half hour never happened... and if the last half hour never happened, we wouldn't be here rambling on in the midst of this excitement... and if we weren't rambling on here in the midst of this excitement, we might miss the connection that comes of sharing these moments that can only be shared between a constant write and a constant reader... and if we missed this connection...

did we?...

well, if I have any truly constant readers out there, then you understand (or try to) the roller coaster ride of being real in this life and feeling everything and expressing everything as it bubbles up trusting there's no harm intended and anyone who can not handle honesty is not ready to be real or share with me and I won't go changing to try to please them cuz that's a waste of a good life (in black and white, or in full techno-color even)... so one moment I'll be up and the next I'll be down and sometimes it'll seem like I'm flipping out like the girls in Freaky Friday (or the remake, even, which happens to be on at this moment), one moment all together mature and responsible and professional and organized and adult-like (and sometimes whiney picky finicky obsessive compulsive stuffy neat freak) kind of person and the next moment all impulsive and flity and bouncy and scatter-brained and cool-like and comfortable with anything and everything everywhere... but usually I am somewhere in the middle...

anyway, I've been quite distracted during this entry because Precious has been telling me about the movie (as we watch the behind the scenes and extra stuff on the CD) and the gmail thing keeps checking for new mail (which would be suprising to find because nobody knows the address yet, right?... but then again, when I opened the new DSL account I got SPAM before I ever gave out the address, so big business sucks and invades privacy and bleeds wallets and has no respect for individuals or anything so there na na na na na)...

I am really not a teenager, I just play one in real life...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)