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MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
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movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
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h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




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SEEING MORE OFTEN

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REFERENCE LIBRARIES

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AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
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ill will press
the guide
purple
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maximum awesome
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something awful
glossy news
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odd todd
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CULTURE

the superficial
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church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
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fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
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the defective yeti
landover baptist
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COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

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PO BOX 780398
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send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
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let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-05-17 - 4:43 p.m.

release the giggle within


when last we met, our hero was a giggle and four of you wee lucky enough to feel the power of the force of the energy of the magic of the love of the giggle... the kind of passion for imagination that made Drop Dead Fred so adorable (or was that Phoebe Cates?... hey, someone had to follow Meg Ryan in the supermarket queue... so how sappy am I for crying at the end of the movie?)...

what we could have here as the giggles strengthen is the ultimate self-indulgent narcissism... because it's so much fun and nobody's around to offer any other fun at the moment... if it bores you, just move along to your next blog or click a link on the side or below or something, but by all means do not stick around if it's not funcuz that would be foolish, dumb, and above all else, no fun...

meanwhile, back at Goofy's place...

I didn't get much writing done at work last night because I actually did more than a couple of hours of work (shhhh, don't tell)... yes, once again I decided to do other people's jobs and develop some more material for the Staff Development and Performance Improvement committee (link to previous entry about SDPI?)... it seems no one else is doing anything, so anything I do is not just welcomed, but applauded and I like applause, even when it's from people who, in the end, are going to take credit for most of what I do...

I do it because it'll help improve the care and treatment the kids get at this hospital, in case you were wondering why I do it... credit doesn't translate into money at this place anyway, so ego gets the temporary effects of the applause and the meaningful worth of what I am doing is where it belongs, in the treatment provided to the kids...

at least that's I how see it...

as much as I present an egocentric ham-actor persona in my babbling, if you knew me in real life you'd know I am a background kind of guy, most content feeling like I contributed something positive to a person or situation and the universe while watching the wheels spin a bit better from a comfortable position off stage... though a life-partner who wanted to share a spotlight could coax me into some actually real life ego tripping, for myself I don't need it...

the truth is (ego shudders and secretly giggles), I pretend I am the greatest thing since the wheel well enough to satisfy my ego right here in my babblings... and if you pretend to buy it, well then, our work is done here... and what a fine job of it we do (I couldn't do it without you, so be appreciated because you are...

and since I'm sucking up so well at the moment, if you just happen to be so well set financially in your life that you have two thousand dollars laying around for mad money gifts for your favorite online people, well you don't have to waste time hunting around for a gift for my birthday (which was last month, by the way, in case you missed it)... because you are so generous, I'll make shopping for me easy for you... just order this online and send it to Candoor, PO Box 780398 Orlando, FL 32978... your blessings and numerous accolades and as much love as you can stand will follow shortly after receipt of your wonderful gift...

or not, if you wish to remain anonymous...

after all, I respect your privacy if you want privacy and we wouldn't want just any babbling fool finding out you are filthy rich... no one will see the naked photos... the candid photography, nudge nudge... I can be trusted implicitely... after all, I didn't tell about the Meg and Phoebe sandwich after the supermarket, right?...

hey, look at the butterfly...

and I drifted off in to the dream in her eyes
the clarity was beyond beauty
for she still believes in love beyond all the lies
and verily she worships honesty
and she still wants to believe it can be shared
and she still wants to believe that someone cared
from the start without end who will never pretend
true love unconditional trust and a best friend
and I drifted off in to a dream that has no end

omigosh, I must have emotied the silliness coffers into the live journal entry, how rude of me... that's supposed to be the more mature and serious side, after all... and of course I just had to get all mushy after the gift idea because, after all, the supermarket was wonderful... what do you expect when you go following me around, to know where you are or what's going on?... heck, the whole point, sometimes, is to get lost...

you are still welcome to come along, of course...

but sadly (or whatever, which is a similar emotion without the tears), I never did get around to updating my gift list (I have to check on that address so if the link doesn't work, let me know... I mean, if you're curious about what to get me for any sort of reason)... I may have updated it once or twice in the last few years (cuz I really don't take it too seriously, if the truth be know, cuz I don't expect anyone to be sending me stuff, but dont tell anybody cuz the previous paragraph is just as serious as any other paragraph, ya know)... I called it a gift list cuz I already had a wantlist that was called, ironically, a want list...

I miss Yogi Berra...

meanwhile, here we are diving into another entry before you even got to read the last few because, after all, who has time to read all the diaries and journals and blogs we want to read every single day (and I am one of those who take a lot of time)... I'd happilly pay you to read my diary if I was so well set financially in my life that I could afford to pay you to stay home and read all day...

how about if you pay me to stay home and write all day and then I can pay you to stay home and read all day... hmmmm, something is missing from that mix... we'd have t spend some of the money, huh?... yes, so we need other people to pay us to write and read all day and... this is sounding something like a pyramid plan already...

somebody's got to be the farmer and grow the food...

they would need a hands-free voice activated mini-computer (hey, anybody seen one of those lately?) to blog as they farm then and we could buy it for them in exchange for food... yes, now all we need is some way to pay for shelter and we're all set... how about a movie star?...

food, shelter, a computer, and a connection to the net...

the basics of life...

and as we all know too well, all good things must come to an end and it is time I paused this writing because I have work to do and a morning meeting so I shall be home late and who knows what words might flow later (and this moderately phorphetic paragraph is moot enough to almost ignore as we well know by now that I found myself babbling over in my journal before I returned here to continue (and interject into, as I almost always do, in case you didn't know and wondered) this entry...

and so now it is the evening of the day after the night before...

yes, I napped an hour or so and then, quite unexpectedly, went flying off the handle and watched a movie and then, quite giddily, Precious walked in bouncing, which generally signifies great news or an exceptional make-out with her boyfriend... today it was great news as he school drama dragon (the lady in charge of the drama department is quite a control freak prude, but I'm sure she has good qualities too) announced next year's musical and all the players rejoiced to hear it would be a tale as old as time...

and yes (or double yes), in case you did not already ascertain the title, Beauty and the Beast... good pure Disney fare perfectly suited for the purde in charge who edits out even the most appropriate words (like slut from a song in Evita, for instance) in order to purify her productions (and all but Turnerize them, unfortunately... you do know what Turnerization does to a film, right?... ever watch a movie on TNT or any Ted Turner TV station?... between the commercials and the edits, it's a wonder the film can be recognized... and sadly, he's buying up so many great films and neutering them... but that's not what I was going on about, now was it?)...

yes, the lion, the witch, the wardrobe, the candlestick, the clock, the teapot, and of course, the beauty... for starters... it will be a fine kettle around here as the Disney music is played again and again taking me back to 1992 (or was it 1993) when my other precious, PJ danced around the house in her underwear to the tunes of Little Mermaid, Lion King, Alladin, and of course, Beauty... the sweet irony is that PJ resembled the Disney Beauty in visual features as well as personality, which made her all the more irresistible to this Disney child (that be me)...

I actually started finishing up this entry and uploading it more than six hours ago and then Precious happened... she had a tough day and needed to vent... I was a bit ornery cuz I was on a sky high high and didn't want to come down and get serious, but being me and loving her as I do, I gave her the evening... she vented, we chatted, we watched a couple of hours of TV, saw Elliot booted from American Idol as expected (though I psychically invited Katherin to come over for consolation in case she got the boot), and then she went to bed and here I am again...

yes, there are a few things in this world I will give up my writing time for (not to mention my surfing, reading, commenting, and any other activity I might do) and Precious is one of them (someday maybe he'll appreciate it... what?... you expected me to stay completely serious without even the slightst teasing?... you should know better)...

meanwhile, what's up with these people who spend their time surfing at a blog exchange credits simply to play judge over websites... when will human beings get the message that spreading negativity hurts everyone and comes back around to them... if we'd only learn to support each other, encourage each other, and vent honestly when we feel negativity instead of projecting our negativity on someone else or actually trying to bring someone else down on purpose, this world would be such a better place to live in...

anyway, the spoiled sports are out bringing down everybody's VARB again at blogmad... now I love letting ego get off on the high numbers I sometimes get, as if the number relates somehow to my worth, but I am quickly reminded how superficial the judgment rating is all too quickly when it drops from over 9 to under 7 in just a matter of hours... that's a clear sign that someone is abusing the system and clicking 1 repeatedly on my particular website (and it happens to many of the higher ranked sites according to discussions I've seen about it)...

anyway, I'll take this moment to encourage all of you to think twice about your judgments of someone's blog... personally, I think that the only fair rating system is one that 1. allows only one rating per IP per day and more, 2. the person must spend at least 10 hours on the website and 3. visit at least 10% of the pages and 4. leave at least a ten word comment before they are eligible to vote... yes, that means the ratings only come from those who visit the blog more than a few times and actually explore the content and give a meaningful opinions, but isn't that what we really want?...

of course (here comes the counterpoint irreverence, like maybe you thought it wouldn't?) if Katherine came over and sat on my lap lip-locking for a few hours, I be happy to actually pick up the phone and vote her way...

hey, she's from LA, she's heard much worse... and she better be able to laugh at such stuff if she's really going to take a public career seriously cuz that's the culture we live in... it sucks, I mock it and joke about it, but I can be superficial too... of course I'd like a conversation and repeat performance...

and I'd marry Meg Ryan this moment if she'd have me...

and here I keep saying I won't trust words, don't I?... well, I lie to myself but not to you (and eventually all truths come out if I remember you are out there reading this and I suppose since the LJ was uncharacteristically silly today (maybe that's why the Varb took such a pounding), I'll let the long disguised truth about my love and trust of words out here...

nothing's changed (hear that Toronto?... hope you can smile at the smirk)...

you don't understand?... well you'll just have to wait until I feel like expounding more than I do right now (cuz I think anyone who wants to come close should understand and if you've felt pushed away by the words of doubt about trusting words then you failed the test... just as, from a very different perspective, anyone who's felt uncomfortable {or worse} when I aim my romantic {or libido} fantasies in their direction fail the test too... what's the test?... simply do you understand me or maybe better stated, do you really know where I'm coming from... I am as vulnerable and harmless as I ever was, not exactly the same, but I'll believe and trust as unconditionally as ever when my eyes and the rest of my senses tell me to)... my scars don't stop me, do they stop you?...

shhhhh, now that you know, only tell the one...

so what have we covered here in this entry that started out paying homage to the giggle within?... well, you can review, I just asked and don't feel like re-reading at the moment, which is a sure sign of the giggle... yes, the giggle is strong in me tonight... fine thing too, since I gave up my night off and have negative people visiting online and I'm still so lonesome I could cry as much as ever and there's still war and starvation and all sorts of strife in the world and I feel every pain because we're all one na na na na, na na na na, hey jude...

I jest not, but giggle much...

how does that happen, you might ask with your logical brains... well, by allowing logic to sit down and allowing the bigger picture to fill itself in... I love me, mean no harm, and do the best I can to share positive energy as often as I can in this life... there's peace and contentment and ultimately, the wonder of newborn joy and hope each time I open my eyes... peace, love, understanding, patience, compassion, security, trust, confidence, giggles, it's as simple as that...

how many secrets do you want, anyway?...

if you did not instantly answer all of them, you failed the test... see why I am alone now, so many tests sent out, so few giggles returned... of course I am using the word test just to test cuz message in a bottle would be just as accurate and probably less repulsive, but then, take me as I am as I am when I am...

I am, I said...

no one takes life more seriously than I do
no one worries about life less than I do

if you see incongruity in those two lines, you do not understand, you do not know me, you failed the test... return to read more, review the previous seven billion words I've already written, open yourself more, and think again... the answers are in there, even if I have not found the perfect words to express them to my complete satisfaction (but then, I'm never completely satisfied with anything except myself and honest love)...

no one is happier or sadder than I am
and no one chooses happier more

if you want to take that as a challenge, you missed the point, take off another article of clothing... if you are already naked, get the camera and... oh nevermind, it's not like there aren't tons of nude photos of people with a passion for fitness and positivity beaming from every pore online already that are airbrushed to near perfection...

so have I reached a pinnacle of self-indulgence narcissism yet?...

you must love me (or have reached a pinnacle of boredom) if you've stuck around to read this far along... so I love you more... feel free to come on over and discuss the point...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




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