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IN
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last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
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ONE. . . WHY
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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

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ABOUT ZOOPLA

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FAT MAN WALKING
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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
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deep web search engines
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movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
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hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-07-24 - 3:57 p.m.

freakin frak


any significance in the title has long been lost in the wash (not to mention the constant mess of this apartment and if I opened myself more to the physical space I loosely call home these days it would drive me somewhat disturbed with clutter because the people I live with simply do not put anything anyway (and I wonder how one gets in the habit of apparently not having a place for anything other than the last place it was put down, clean or dirty optional) so I have adjusted my focus to a distinctively selective blur in life in general (which is foolishly dangerous at this point as the years slide by and the hill points steadily more steepily (steeply?... take that spellchecker) downward (but the eyes of the child still see magic and wonder and wonder why magic is so rare and the eyes of the child still haunt and search for another who knows how to care, who remains aware... through the passions and pains, the innocent remains)...

and I imagine that Meg Ryan understands because I want to believe that somebody does and I hope that there are people growing into their thirties and forties and fifties and older still wide open to the potential that is usually found in some wide-eyed teens because someday I am going to be older and I don�t want to be the only one still seeing the world through the eyes of a child...

but beyond understanding, where is one who does it...

if any of this entry has been posted here in one of these suddenly appearing entries then, oh well, it was probably posted somewhere else too, so I could cheat (or is that cheat squared?) and simply cut and paste the entry I just wrote (some time in the past month) over in the RealTime plug (I mean blog), but then, would you click on the link and get in the habit of reading the RealTime blog if I did that?...

that was subtle as a brick to the forehead, aye?...

fatigue dominates the landscape of my existence...


and Precious is rambling on about music a few feet in front of me (yes, we all babble on here at casa de candoor... though she does it verbally much more than with the keyboard, you can find some of her rambling in one of the previous entries... she does this a lot while I am trying to write... so we can easily blame her for my lack of entries, but then, she is lovable so we can easily forgive her too and besides, school starts up again soon so I�ll probably be missing these morning chats we have had most of the summer)...

and Rasputin is heating up a pot pie, one of his favorite home foods (he definitely has typical mid-western taste buds and rarely cooks, which is good because he almost never cleans and is a sloppy cook... he�ll just have to get his own diary if he wants to tell you all about my unpleasant habits, naaa naaa)...

anyway, welcome to a lazy Sunday afternoon behind the candoor as life, as we loosely call it, continues to spill out here in black and white... at least it was a lazy Sunday afternoon when these words were first written, or second written, even... I haven�t included much about the actual offline people and happenings in these babbles lately mostly because there�s that other blog where RealTime� reports of RealLife� can be found on a semi-daily basis, sometimes... but the babble still pours out destined for this place...

on the other hand, we must accept that it does not pour out as much as it used to due to working a lot more and vegetating between work hours a lot more and therein letting my brain rot and body bloat and blur become the prevailing vision in my mind and imagination...

it's not that bad, but it's not that good either...

as Jimmy Eat World sings Pain as Fuse TV sells the Bastards of Young DVD documentary on the cleverly (with sarcasm, mind you) named Steven's Untitled Rock Show or something like that, I ponder the nothingness of the daily life of the working class (no hero feeling here today)

and I fall asleep...

well ok then, a nap and then what?� well, this paragraph seems to have happened right after a nap so it seems to fit in here... even if it's already been somewhere else... it was a very busy week at work with three double shifts and moving of heavy objects and kicks and scraps on the hands and much grogginess (as I recall, this was some time at the beginning of May), but we are now in our new unit� it stinks� literally, the sanitary habits on this side of the hospital were amazing� it does not make sense, since this is a certified hospital and we are cited anytime we violate health codes or regulations on our old unit� how they got away with this is a sign of the incompetent management here� they just look the other way too often� and apparently, hold their noses...

again it will be mentioned in meetings by the staff who care and do the job right and again we'll see if anything changes� expect nothing, that's the best we can do� so anyway, after a week of cleaning and throwing out tons of junk and crap, the unit is beginning to look inhabitable, but it'll need some serious deep cleaning of rugs and painting (though some holes in walls still need fixing first) before it even begins to look like a hospital� I figure it'll be fine in about a month...

and as I gaze around (and sniff) at the immediate environment at work, I see the rest of the staff... it amazes me sometimes how little energy or attention is actually devoted to the patients in this place� especially on the night shift, almost everyone rushes through their work (sloppily) and are much more interested in just chatting about anything (loudly), rather than actually being alert to potential patient needs� there are two modes, two gears� hyper loud staff basically ignoring the patients and the others, staff fast asleep� either way, the patients are not actually supervised and are treated as an intrusion if they ask for anything�

how do people get so insensitive to their environment and so lazy about taking care of it?... if I knew, I wouldn't be falling into the habits myself... I don't have time to keep up with the constantly piling up messes... but it's tired living and working in such a mess for me because I can feel all the energy from all the moving parts and all the stuff cluttering the areas around me, so it's a catch-22...

maybe I'll run tomorrow...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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