LIFE

IN
BLACK
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last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
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(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

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ABOUT ZOOPLA

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FAT MAN WALKING
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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-06-13 - 4:51 a.m.

just look at the excitement you are missing


the lazy (unproductive, semi-conscious, mostly lonely, mildly depressive) day continued on into the night as I continued copying CDs and glancing up at the TV and zoning and browsing websites and a lot of blah... I probably would feel better about spending the day laying around here if I accomplished anything that needed to be done, like cleaning the place or doing laundry or even just getting to the gym... or if I actually dug into myself to respond to some of the email sitting in my mailboxes (approaching 100 unresponded to in my "new friends" mailbox... still 6 in my "old friends" mailbox... heck, my dear Minnie's dog died and I haven't responded, that is how incommunicato I actually am on deeper interpersonal levels... I'd be depressed if I decided it was time to actually wake up and still didn't respond, but I am sleepwriting, remember, operating mostly on autonomic nervous system instincts and deeper feeling processes are turned off, mostly dead, after all)... so instead I munched and indulged my taste buds and vegetated in front of the TV and computer and... erp...

I did record more CDs, though I still did not make time to type in a list of all the CDs into some sort of database so I can have a handy reference to share (and refer to so I don't keep taking the same CDs out of the library and making extra copies forgetting I already did... yeah one more thing I could have done to have some sense of accomplishing something today... some days are relatively total failures, ya know?)...

hmmmm, could be that vegetation was the primary goal for today and in that case, today was a rousing success... well, maybe rousing was the wrong adjective there...

I did finally get to see Terminator 3... alas, I was disappointed... a few cute moments, a few good points, and the overall story was ok, but a fatal flaw was leaving Sarah Conner (Linda Hamilton) and her borderline insane passion out of this film... I like Claire Danes, but she was no way near an inspired character... she wasn't even as into it as Linda was in T1 and maybe, if there's a T4, she will work out and become the manic obsessed force that Sarah Conner was in T2, but that intensity was missing from this film even more than it was from T1... she might not have the talent I'd like to believe she has... hmmmm, maybe the special effects would have made it more fun to watch on a big screen, but the acting felt more like a made for TV movie, that is, lacking depth, intensity, and the granduer of emotional catharsis and sort of a revelation that an apocalyptic story needs to carry off the sci-fi aspect... the TX was chosen purely for appearance, definitely not for acting ability... the subtle machine-mode character showed more flirtation and emotion than the most advanced killing machine should have shown, but then, I kinda thought the same thing about the T-2000 in T2 so maybe she'll grow on me... and what happened to the original John Conner kid?... alas, Arnold, T2 still rises head and shoulders above the other two... sad, for I was so looking forward to T3 being bigger and better in every way... I wonder if, once he agreed to do it after holding out so long, he rushed it and settled because he was planning to run for political office... or maybe he just waited too long as there seemed to be nothing new in the special effects that was not already in recent films... it needed something new...

or maybe I'm just in a particularly critical mood today...

so what else can I complain about?... Rasputin changed the TV channel to Real Sex and then left the room... the show was about private sex parties which reminded me that I received this in the mail recently... the irony is that one prerequisite to most of these swinger events is no single males allowed, so a single male is screwed (just not in the way he might want to be)... for me, personally, I am not interested in sharing the body I inhabit with others unless I know they are loving themselves (as in caring for themselves) at least as much as I care for myself and my instinct for physical presense tells me few people do... as if the assumption that people bathed thoroughly moments before sharing bodies is good enough to ensure cleanliness... as if a lean fit-looking body is enough of an assumption that the person inside is self-loving or even living healthy... would I attend a sexual-spiritual gathering if invited?... perhaps, but not if there were too many rules and expectations... it is either about freedom or it is about power or ego-tripping and the latter is not for me...

but since I don't have a partner who'd attend with me as a couple at the moment, the question is moot...

anyway, speaking of casting done just right (were we?), I think I'll watch Men In Black II again, since it just came on the TV in front of me... and it's fun... romantic... silly... noble (noble?)... the subtle humor between Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones doesn't seem to wear out after many washings, I mean viewings... and ultimately, finding secret depths where it might be least expected, have you not noticed that my current state of mind is so well summed up by the quote "I must have neuralyzed myself to keep the information from myself"... and besides, she is adorable in it... speaking of adorable, will somebody give Maria Ariadna Thala Sodi Miranda my number and somehow convince her to call?... I'd like Spanish lessons and her mouth is precisely where I'd like them from...

meanwhile, back in reality (just look at all the excitement you are missing)... mirror time... I could be progressing back to the peak of conscious awareness and physical fitness in a much more direct line, faster even, but instinct leads the way and the delays have their reasons even if they produce these meanderingly whiny and somewhat pathetic entries (after all, I am wide awake at 4am, again)... still, unlike the stagnation and emotional deadness of the previous few years, this year is definitely inching closer to rebirth (though I may hide it too well for my own good) and one of these days I'll start over, again...

yeah, I know, it takes two...

duh...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


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