LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-12-09 - 7:38 p.m.

enigma


ok, enough seriously irreverent thoughts that are so serious that the irrevence may be missed and then could get depressing if I continued, so no more reality wake up calls for me... nope, I'm way too comfortable sitting in this big green chair vegetating and spending all my free time wandering the internet forgetting about the physical life and this body and all the fun of the fair and the real reasons I am alone... yeah, I'll just continue to sit here lamenting and whining and complaining and watching reruns of Friends for the umpteenth time this year...

well, at least until I wake up again...

ok, so my tongue is still in my cheek after all... and I am going to be just as straight with myself as I need to be cuz sometimes I need to face hard cold reality when I am doing dumb foolish things (like skipping the gym for more than a few weeks or eating until I only feel comfortable in double-x shirts and getting serious frowns from my doctor and prescriptions for more expensive drugs that I do not want to buy {and probably won't} because I am too stupid to enjoy a healthy life to it's fullest)... after all, this is life behind the candoor, uncut and unsanitized and if I get too naked for the world to see they'll just do what they do outside of this metaphor, they'll look away (or call the cops, but then, some busts are worth it)...

so much to learn, me and humanity, how could I ever live with myself after I die if I shirk my responsibility in the process...

huh?

in other news, I'd say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, but then, it's probably looking nothing like some people's vision of Xmas and it might start me rambling philosophically about how everyone sees things from their own unique perspective and the climactic variations of holiday celebrations and seasons, so I'll sing softly to myself while I sort through the clothes...

and continue rambling irreverently...

that reminded me of an old Bill Cosby bit that i do not completely recall but I think Old Weird Harold might have been in it and it was about walking away from something scary or maybe even some sort of fight after a movie in an alley... I think...

and before I get too carried away by the words, thanks for wandering with me wherever my mind might go today...

in the spirit of the season, I thought about announcing that I would post nude pictures of myself and anyone I could catch nude or semi-nude on a photo blog if someone would buy me a digital camera, but then I decided I've probably been too materialistic recently and it's no longer cute to attempt cleverness or even cynicism about stuff cuz the guise of really wanting stuff might affect my membership in existentialists anonymous and then nobody will buy me anything ever and I'll remember my giftless childhood and get depressed and contemplate some horrible reaction against myself or the world and there's enough horror in the world already and I don't want to be horrible to myself, not really, so I decided I will not...

unless, of course, well, never mind...

the camera idea wasn't mine... I visited this very visual and usually cute (might even be adorable if she was single, alas and wink and all) rabbit (who doesn't mind looking real and slightly distorted in ultra-close close ups and finds new music, so naturally I love her) and was amused at the news about Lindsey Lohan (figured I'd name drop for gogglers just to prove I can be cheap and easy)... I am so easily amused... and influenced... sometimes...

here's something serious (in case you're tired of relatively meaninless irreverence already)... I think it's really great that Aquarius Records is online (where've I been, huh?)... it was one of the bestest places to find music in the entire world (and one more reason to miss San Francisco... if I could, I'd live there... I mean the store... it belongs in my version of heaven along with chocolate shops and Italian restaurants and maybe an Amsterdam cafe or few... the city is great too, and it contains the immortal Bobby, after all... he, if you don't know, might have held the record for most linkers at Dland before he went off to his own domain... anyway, while I don't think SF is for me for a permanent residence, if I could afford it it would definitely be one of the places I'd live at least part of the year)...

ah, I've noticed I've added that phrase, if I could afford it to my lexicon in recent years and I use it more and more often of late... I am learning, at this relatively late stage of life, that being poor has it's limitations... I suppose I did struggle a bit as a teen-becoming-adult, but then, the Army made it easy to loaf around and feel rich with GI benefits until I decided to carve out a career and take the stock market and the material world seriously... ultimately, though, all that wasn't my idea and when I left NY (and the dear person I lived with there who inspired me to try the money-making lifestyle that is so popular in that city), I lost interest (pun not intended)... it was never my bag, as hippies would say... or as mugwhump says, big heart, small wallet...

and then I got to thinking of how that would look as an epitath... after all, the few words we put next to the links in our favorites lists in our profiles give the world an impression of who we are... and is that what it's about, the size of your heart and your wallet?... I guess, in this world... the cynic in me would say she has it reversed as the wallet is way more important to most people than the heart, but I'm kind of a reverable guy, so it's ok...

maybe it was Bobby mentioning a $650 rent that got me thinking about this... the relativity of amounts... there was a time, when studio apartments were going for a thousand dollars and up, I lucked into a $50 a month three room apartment (sixth floor walk up) in Manhattan (NYC)... and then I lived in a six room apartment in Brooklyn (two family brick house, we had the upstairs) for $425 that eventually, after eight years, went up to $600... for a while, when I first came down to Florida, I was covering a $750 two bedroom apartment and the $950 mortgage on my house... and I never gave the cost of living a thought as I made my weekly trips to the local music stores (or wholesale warehouses) for dozens of CDs and videos at a pop...

and now, I wish my roommies would turn off lights and the TV when they go out because the almost $300 a month electric bill is biting into my savings (I pay utilities, Raspy pays rent, it balances out and saves us the calculations each month)...

still, I am happier without the stress and games (which I consider pretentious and soul-sucking, if you really want to know) of business and corporate worlds, even if it means I lament more about the music I'd love to have at my fingertips and the time I do not have to focus on cleaning up my mess and gathering my wits and living the personally alive part of life more completely...

am I getting serious again?...

oh well, I really did intend to stay light and irreverent today... but that's what happens sometimes, the best of intentions go ary... arry?... ari... hmmmm, there appears to be a spelling block on that word, so let's use oops... my intention is never to offend or give anyone any cause for stress or pain, even though I know that is the way some choose to (or are forced to) learn what we need to learn to become enlightened beings... but most seriously, this is what I think...

if the truth hurts you, something is wrong...

of course we all have our own truths and I've rambled on about how I agree with the philosophers who propose that everything is illusion and what is real is only what we want to believe in as real and share as real... in my profession, I see kids creating distorted illusions of themselves and therein hurting themselves (some physically) and blaming everyone else, including the caregivers and therapists... I think it's the kind of humanity we've created for ourselves what with the fundamental beliefs usually putting the bottom line responsibility for everything in the hands of a god or parents or anywhere but in our own hands... and that is sad to see, but that's not me...

and I've long accepted that people accepting or creating a culture that is so based in avoidance, repression, disassociation, and projection would probably not understand me and therein somehow blame me for their confusion or the misunderstandings we'd inevitibly have...

it takes much time to unlearn the shirking perspectives and avoidance behaviors and many will choose not to even try... and I've reached a point in this life where I am wondering why I am trying myself (ah, sweet despair, your siren song is so seduction and full of chocolate)... my irreverent perspective and truth-digging instincts (there may be no completely true truth that is true for all the universe, but I love the journey towards it when I remember to turn off the self-pity and stupid human tricks) usually saves me from the cultural traps in the end... so far at least...

maybe that's why athiests come around a lot...

but they too have decided and that is the primary difference between me and most everyone I've ever met (including atheists)... the questioning continues when all others have given up or fallen asleep or accepted a decision...

beauty is not always beautiful...

the eye of the beholder is sometimes closed...

I am comfortable with the unknown, most people are not... and my comfort is often uncomfortable for those who are uncomfortable with the unknown for I welcome it (the unknown and the infinite possibilities) and seek to explore it, but it's lonely cuz I've met nobody who questions as I do, who is as comfortable accepting the unknown as I am...

so I don't mention it much...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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(EPISODE ONE)
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HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
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(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

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