hey, I re-did my profile to actually include some words other than "nothing yet, still chewing on it" or whatever I had in there since first opening this diary... I think it's more representative of the current state of the life in black and white... maybe it'll bring more understanding and world peace...

and then I decided it might be time to try to get some sleep, in spite of the banging on the walls and other construction noises above, below, and all around the town (actually, right now some of the many workers are cutting the dry wall next door and others are hammering it into place)...

so I put on my birthday suit and cuddled up with myself and felt the glee of being in bed (even though it's a tiny little twin bed that I hang out of half the time cuz my arms and legs do not like to stay curled up for very long), but my mind reminded me to brush my teeth, so I pulled myself into the bathroom and did the pick thing and the floss thing and the brush thing (cuz nobody wants gingivitis or cavities, right?) and felt orally refreshed...

and then I climbed back into bed all ready for some blissful escape from the noises and daily life mundanity when I remembered that I have library books due any day now so I threw my shorts back on and went to the computer to check the library account real quick and renewed a few dozen items and pulled the few that could not be renewed out so they're on the top of the pile to be copied or read or maybe renewed in person cuz the library lady can be nice sometimes and I went back to bed, but this time I kept my shorts on...

apparently I knew I wasn't going to get to sleep as the phone rang... it was some telemarketer and I hung up on the recorded voice and since I was out of bed again I decided to come here and tell you all about it...

obviously I am not settling into sleep mode because...

balance, remember, balance

ok, it's mostly because the place is a mess... so I could stay up and clean it and then go to work tonight without any sleep and then try to catch up on sleep tomorrow (and have yet another great excuse to not go to the gym... oh, did I tell you today's excuse?... well, I had to drive Berry home cuz her car is still indisposed cuz she's still kinda borke cuz the hurricane cost her three days pay and assorted other expenses and then when I got home Precious is standing there in her robe with a towel wrapped around her wet head doing her best sheepish as she explains that she needs a ride to school because the alarm clock she is sharing with her dad was not reset properly when she got it back in her sleepy state after staying awake past her bed time again to wake him up for work, or something like that... anyway, I waited for her to get ready and drove her to school and by the time I got home the mood for gym was out the window and some comfort food was a higher priority...

also, the first day with the new pill was not as much fun as my first acid trip and it'll take a bit of getting used to I think cuz I sure was going to the bathroom a lot more than I usually do which is a real inconvenience and had me concerned about my hour long aerobic workouts so I decided that was a good reason to not go to the gym today so this body could have a day or maybe a few to get used to this new pill which, either through pharmocology or psychology, seems to be stimulating this body and keeping me awake...

and then there's this:

"my biggest problem is people -- individually, they are easy to empathize with, but collectively, they are oppressive and I'm filled with despair. I don't like interacting. I feel as if no one understands me. That can be frustrating."

which is quoted somewhere in here and comes from here and is worth repeating in case I am repeating it again...

and then there's this... not to mention politics...

and then there's this place (space around me offline)... and sometimes it seems that I have so many things on my mind that I want to do and so little time to do any of them that nothing gets done (except a lot of rambling here or somewhere else) and that stresses me into a grumble that keeps me awake... a good cure would be exercise, but there's the loop, isn't it...

and what's the excuse for not having wild passionate sex?

anyway, you lucky three loyal people who actually read this have a second entry thanks to all the strings tugging on my brain today... and dare I think there are a few more?... ah, the simple comfort of knowing you are out there is the precious gift you bestow on my poor meandering soul and for this you shall be blessed (cue Elton John)... and we didn't even get to the deeper callings and stuff that are really what's got my mind working overtime, but we probably know where to find them when if we have the time again before this body finally takes it's last breath...

in consolation, since I did not give you my daily web meandering for at least a few days, here's a summary of the week in browsing so far, just cuz it's time to stop typing and try that sleep thing one more time (note, below read "today" as this week, ok?)...

and this is where I wandered today... and this is where I wandered today... and this is where I wandered today... and this is where I wandered today... and this is where I wandered today... and this is where I wandered today... and this is where I wandered today...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)