whatever sharing we've got going on here, I mean... or to put the thought into a complete sentence so there's less chance for confusion or misunderstanding, I don't want the delay in uploading entries due to the DLand server being too busy to end our sharing...

so I am writing as I usually do, whenever I have time to sit at the computer, even if I don't have time to sit and click for as long as it takes to get an entry uploaded... and hoping you'll find the patience to put up with the inconsistency and not lose the habit of visiting together here in words each day (do you hear the violin music?) in our own intimate literary way...

so what is new in your life?...

if you don't want to leave a note or public comments, then email me or call me (I don't remember the link for the page that my telephone number is on, so here: 407-325-1482... now don't tell any crank-yankers cuz it's a cell phone and I don't need the extra bills... I'm poor, remember?)... at least half the week I don't answer (50 or so hours at work, 60 or so hours asleep, and days I dorget the phone... hmmmm, that's more like two thirds of the week, maybe even three quarters, isn't it?... well, there's a good chance you'll have to leave a message, so you don't have to worry about being shy cuz I probably won't even pick up anyway... but call, dangit... or write... or something... at least laugh with me here)...

oh heck, tell the dang crank-yankers...

ahem...

ok, I've got to do some heavy thinking here one of these days cuz I am rambling on in a rut for too long now and it's getting boring (for me at least... but then, I have infinite patience for others but not much for myself)... the thing is, I was born with a few dreams kinda imprinted on my psyche... that's the only way I can explain it or describe the obsession I have with falling in love and sharing everything unconditionally trusting and loving and all that story-book romance stuff... and music, my addiction to love, loving everything, is first and foremost, but music is almost as ingrained in my brain or psyche or engrams or genes or whatever makes a being who one is...

I believed when I'd fall in love that it would be forever... and it is... again and again... and even as I wonder these days whether there is still any room left in my heart, I ache for more, for another chance, for another dance, for one more romance... oh, that old black magic, that sweet tender trance...

maybe I'll do some digging this weekend...

meanwhile, in this daily life, work has been more challenging this week because we've been short a staff almost every day and we had federal auditors in to do a Risk Management survey and I was asked to train the night staff on two other units to do the data audit that I do every night (with the audit tool I developed) and I was asked to implement a new internal audit tool that I've been helping develop for the past month or so... the Performance Improvement slash QA director gets the feather in his cap for the form I basically developed, but that's the politics of business and he is leaving for a better job next month and the audit tool has to be in place this month because it was mandated by the previous audit (two years ago) and they waited for the last moment to really get it in gear... typical of the way the place is run... anyway, the irony is that while I am getting more recognition, the director who I am helping most is leaving next month and I'd be very surprised if anyone was aware I was behind the new audit tool... gotta laugh, cuz that's how well I keep a low profile when I want to, even when I am not sure I want to anymore...

at home, I ignored the call of the gym all week... not that it called very loudly (or is it that I can go deaf really well when I want to)... so it was the laziest week of the year so far and that right after I convinced the doctor not to up the blood pressure meds she wanted to up by promising I'd drop another ten pounds by my next appointment, which is in three weeks... the rebel in me is so predictable sometimes... tell me that turning left is how to get where I want to go, I will be sure to turn right three times just to go in the direction I want to go in the first place... that is how I compromise when I am caught between two options and neither is ideal... she (the doc... I think I mentioned this already somewhere) says to me that a year ago she'd not have suggested meds, but there is supposed to be new data from some studies on blood pressure that lower the numbers and mine are a few over the new numbers so next week I start the exercise program all over again, kick it up a notch, and get much more rigid with my diet for a few weeks... and will I be 185 pounds by the 11th of July?... that's the fun of the game, not knowing the outcome...

what else is new?...

I've got tickets (actually, Helena got the tickets) to a heavy metal show at the Hard Rock for tomorrow night... she wants to see the first band cuz her friend's boyfriend is the drummer and then go to eat somewhere (she likes to make the decisions and I like surprises and sense of spontaneity that comes from not making the decisions)... it'll probably be an early night cuz she doesn't stay up late... I should wear a T-shirt that says WANTED: night people in Orlando... but then, I'd need lots of T-shirts with all my wants... did I ever mention I had a wantlist?...

anyway, I'll try uploading this again next time I come here cuz it's not uploading at the moment... there are several drawbacks to this fact, the first being the oft lamented loss of daily contact, the loss of the habit of checking in with each other every day, the loss of the feeling that someone really does care and thinks about you/me upon waking and wandering through the daily life... but there is more, there's the loss of the follow up, the time to click on the links slipped into entries (like this one) that may have only had a moment as the latest entry and therefore was skipped by most people who do not back track and catch up on several (or more) entries added all at once... and the information (the secrets) that might be found if those links are followed, well, like I said, a lot more is lost than the oft lamented daily contact...

anyway, this is (or that was) the life as I know it today...

and you?...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)