LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


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(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
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Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

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ABOUT ZOOPLA

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THE FAILURE


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FAT MAN WALKING
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INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-01-20 - 9:25 a.m.

with Diaryland down


you may not have read the previous entry (and you may not want to, as long as it is, but then, it's probably more interesting than this one, so I think you should... that's why I'm mentioning it before starting this entry... clever, huh?) because DLand was down for a while and I rambled on and on (and got a little whiney, but the rest is informative and hopefully worth reading)... anyway, I don't want to feel like I wasted all that time writing it because nobody will read it because it was not uploaded on time because...

ok, I'll stop and go on to this entry wherein I probably whine even more because I took the night off last night and had no DLand to wander around in and inspire me (strange how lonely I got with DLand down all night)...

I hope you read about hope (which would be the previous entry, by the way)...

so with DLand down and me feeling lonely, I wandered over to LJ and checked on my friends journals there... and since distraction is the easiest way to dealwith loneliness, I was happy to find gumphood had taken this age quiz thing... so I took it... and this is what happened...

I took it three times because I had a couple of answers to some questions, depending on mood and mostly because the choices were not precise enough... for instance, the first question gives the choice between crime drama (CSI), cartoon (Sponge Bob), the O.C., Degrassi, and The West Wing... now if Animaniacs was listed, it would win... or Futurama, even... but Sponge Bob is one I have to be in the mood for and not an automatic choice... and then on question six, I was flipping betweem FAO Schwarz (isn't it Schwartz?) and being a video game tester and my current career with a lot more pay and working for Google (cuz I've heard fantastic things about that company)... and then I'm not sure about the greatest band of all time (number nine), but I chose the Rolling Stones for longevity... but it's not the best age-determining question for someone who really loves all kinds of music... and then number ten, well, pretending it isn't there because it's too pathetic to waste any time or energy on was not a choice...

so anyway, I ended up 17 the first time, 16 the second time, and 13 the third time (my mind believes it is four years old, my heart feels forever seventeen... remember?)... no wonder why I don't have many friends and the older I get, the fewer friends I seem to find... cuz if it is accurate (and it probably is), then I act less than one third of my chrono age... add all three up and we're a few years short... the status quo might consider that sad or pathetic or just plain wrong, but heck it's my life and I'll enjoy the heck out of it if I want to...

even during these mostly dead irreverent sleepwriting (or sleeping) behind the candoor years...

maybe I need to grow up a little more to find what I'm looking for, I mean, to fall in love again... but I still think the human cultures I've known put way too much effort into defining and dividing themselves and each other based on chronological age... I have rambled on this before, if you recall, and have had relationships (from parental to romance) that were more than a decade apart in chrono-age... from my first thoughts (still in nursery school) on the subject have not changes over the years... I think agism is one of the most deeply rooted prejudices among many that people use to hide their fears of honesty and intimacy and physical touches... I don't think the root of all problems is sex the way Freud did, but I do think that the fear of sensuality and sexuality is one of the deepest roots of just about everything that is not right with humanity... some people never figure themselves or anything much out... and perhaps the prevailing philosophies consider those who reach some strong sense of self and awareness at a young age are blessed, but as one who has been sure and comfortable of his perspective and beliefs since day one in this life, it's not all it's cracked up to be... it's very isolating... and seems to intimidate others... and ultimately, it's a life of swimming against the current...

rather tiring alone...

I wonder how many of you really experience that, no less understand what I mean... and how well, or deeply, or personally, or generally, or specifically, or universally, or from what perspectives, how many and why... too complex?... too simple for words for me...

so what happens... after Harry Potter, which is one of my favorite escapes currently because I dream of having the friendships and potentials, I click around and there's You've Got Mail on one station and When A Man Loves A Woman on another and Animaniacs on in a little while... the serious drama is too many tears for the current mood, so I listen to Meg Ryan's soothing voice as she reads her emails to Tom Hanks until the toons come on... but the toons only last 30 minutes and then it's back to Meg, wishing I could bump into someone with the composite personalities she's portrayed (and the adorableness and casual fitness would be nice too) in her films... there was Harry again, and a few other nibbles, but it was back to Meg and Mail for me... dreams die hard (to quote Gary Morris)...

and so I thought I'd be moping and mounring the anguish of loneliness over at mostly dead, but I found myself dreaming of loving somebody instead... closure?... resolution?...

who knows J






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

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