LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

SUPPORT BLOGMAD! BUY STUFF



o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-08-27 - 9:51 p.m.

diversity


in a word, that (entry title, diversity) may be the best summation of what you will find if you read me often, continuously, even... more than occasionally you might find a noticeable heterogeneity in my rambling...

I strive to keep my mind as open as possible and welcome all thoughts, perspectives, ideas, mental constructs, opinions, and consciousnesses... most people have something, some thought that offends them... that thought will no doubt pass through my mind and be put into words in my ramblings at least once... thoughts of unknowns, theories, popular beliefs, and thoughts that are an integral part of our daily lives and personalities and interactions are bound to be pondered all the more here...

logically then, I will offend most people at some time in my ramblings...

sadly, many people will focus on that thought and write me off for being closed minded because I do not agree with their perspective... the irony is how people will accuse other people of being closed minded because the other people open their mind to other perspectives... or to put it another way... many people accuse me of being closed minded because I will not close my mind precisely the way they do...

be that as it may be, I know that I strive to keep my mind as open as possible... I welcome thoughts I have not pondered before, in fact, I crave such unexplored mental territory... I welcome and encourage challenges when there is no harm intended... I much prefer challenges from minds open to the infinite possibilities, minds that do not close doors on the unknown, minds that, regardless of their deepest beliefs, accept that anything they know could be wrong...

of all the things I know as right, correct, certain, and immutable, the thing I am most sure of knowing is right is that I can be wrong...

think about that...

deeply...

and so I go on...

accepting that I will most likely offend you, dear reader, in some way with some thought at some time or another, I shudder to think of how that might work out... I fear losing your attention and love (and I believe some of you do love me and I love you for that, among other things, and a grin appears around the possibilities of extending this parentheses, but I choose to remain serious a few more moments in this entry... mark the rarity and giggle with the peanut gallery in my head if you must, err, would)...

this uber-lonely phase of life in which I am currently nested sucks stinky rotten eggs for the social being in me, especially for the intimate sensual being in me (who remains alive and as well as possible given the starvation eveloping almost every pore), and your attention and love, from the passing "Hi" in notes to the deeper comments to the telephone calls to the in-person visits, floats my hope and keeps me alive...

the content self-satisfied hermit remains strong, but the desire to share remains even stronger and instead of getting depressed and throwing a pity party and licking my wounds and blah blah blahing through everything, I come here (and other writing places) and let everything I feel out and let everything I see in... I share as I can when I am alone...

this is my primary way...

perhaps you can understand the depths of emptiness and longing (and more understanding) behind these particular words in this entry... perhaps you can begin to understand your worth to me, especially those of you who reach out the me... every one of you, even if you just click through and leave no mark of your being here, adds to my feeling that I am not as completely alone inside as I sometimes feel... thank you for that... the little numbers at the bottom of the page, the hit counter, tells me someone stopped by for a moment... it may seem superficial so some, but as the number goes up I feel your presence, I feel less alone in this world...

I mention this because it appears that someone (or many) have read many pages here on this particular weekend... perhaps someone found time to read through every entry, for the numbers dramatically jumped since I looked yesterday... that is, as simple and distant as it might seem, very exciting to me... I hope whomever you are, you found your time here worthwhile... and if you choose to let me know, bless you...

and for my beloved commenters, the words may come in time, but there are no words in me now to express the emotional lift your direct responses to my thoughts and feelings mean to me... in this uber-lonely phase of life, your talking to me directly sets off an explosion of hope in my heart and excitement in my brain...

this is what the world wide web is about for me...

and when the phone rings, well...

I must admit my fear of picking it up... my fear of trusting that someone really cares is on the other end... somewhere in my writings, the baggage that underlies that fear is expressed... suffice to say here that telephone communication was used to break my spirit, grind me into the ground, and create this fear of which I write...

but the deeper truth I subconsciously avoid too often is that fear started through the written word... this medium of communication I so treasure was my most playfully comfortable method of sharing for many years... I trusted the written word as gospel, as the most true way of communicating... I thought that if it was written down, if someone dared to place the thought in printed form for all perpetuity, it must be true...

it took the better part of a decade for me to I learn, to finally accept how wrong that thought can be (and I strive to keep my mind as open as possible, remember?)... it is only in recent years that I am personalizing my writing again (the writing way has always been for me, even when I distanced myself from actually sharing the words)... and only in the past year or two, mostly through this diary, am I welcoming you, real people becoming friends, into my world again... to empower you with trust is scary for me still, but I am getting through the fear and I hope the writing reflects that...

to some extent...

just in case it is you, the one who spent years helping to create this fear in me, who read through my life in black and white this weekend... welcome back... I hope all is well... I hope you reach out... and I hope you've found a way to be honest this time...

and to all the rest of you, whatever connection we forge together through words online or voice or in the flesh, I hope you will understand my nature and my choice is as I expressed above, to strive to open my mind to every possibile thought that can be created or absorbed or transmuted or inspired by the synapses and experiences in this (and any) universe...

and above all else, I mean no harm...

I hope, if I ever offend you with my thought process (and odds are that I will at least once in a while), that you will not suddenly negate all the other thoughts that inspired you to return here... I hope you will not stop finding interest in me and my writings...

I am so much a child by the standards of growing up in this world... I do not have very many fixed views, hard core beliefs, or immutable opinions... in fact, I may have only a very few if I think about it and the one bottom line stated above, that being wrong is the only possibility I can be most sure of, remains the most solid truism in my mind...

I see everything as play, even when I am taking something seriously (and when I am serious, I am serious with an intensity no one, so far at least, has ever wanted around for long), for everything changes and I accept that anything I am sure of could dissolve as a certainty (or die) at any moment in this linear time line that we know as life... this excites me much more than it scares me...

I live in the moment as much as possible, striving to enjoy everything about the moment... I love and nurture my curiosity and do my best not to change things too much because I do not know enough to think I have the right to know what is best for this world or anyone outside of myself... I at once enjoy (an understatement) and fear my sensuality for I believe in honesty and the two are seldom shared in the same breath... I believe in innocence, not ignorance (and believe the distinction between the two is a cloud requiring clarification for any real intimate understanding to follow), ignorance being the lack of knowledge and inexperience, innocence being the absense of intent to harm and even the active attempt to do no harm... honesty and innocence and curiousity form the bases of my personality, my ideals, my me in this world and I strive to actualize these ways in every decision I make and every action I take in this world...

I didn't know I was going to introduce my core when I started this entry, but there you go...

maybe another 101 things about me will someday come of this...

and maybe this is already that....

in the end, my desire to learn and share as honestly and harmlessly as possible rules me... I will rarely go out of my way to confront someone in disagreement, but neither will I go out of my way to hold back my thoughts in my writings... I hope this understanding overcomes any offense to your ways or beliefs or perspectives I might inadvertently offer... if it does, I hope you let me know and we come to some mutually enjoyable understanding, acceptible compromise, or at least peaceful co-existence...

I hope you remain with me as literary friends as we grow into this new century of mass communication and bipolar relationships (we, humanity, can go anywhere from here, from body-contact intimacy to ever so distant stars passing through the night)...

and if you choose to comment, to reach out by phone, to visit in time and space, all the more I hope this understanding of who I am at my core and my intent in this life is clear to you (dig deeper and ask for clarification of anything that is not as any question comes to your mind)...

I love you for being here, all of you...

I will most likely continue exploring the universe of thought and continue hoping for more sharing on and off line... and I want to continue to welcome you (and encourage you) to share your journey as you join me in mine...

namaste... shalom... ciao... aloha... peace* J





* please help me learn more words of the same meaning... thanks...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






SAY HELLO
407-325-1482





and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there