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2003-12-03 - 7:52 a.m. excuse me, I'd like a different illusion now ok, so I've either bored or depressed most of you to death or at least to roll your eyes and scream "run away! run away!" at the top of your lungs while, what else, running away... no?... surely you jest... surely I jest... I don't know anybody named Shirley these days either... and Shirley knows this is just a cheap play for reassurance that I am not all alone in this whirlpool of words... but I have been dragging around in the land of stupid for way too long and it's sucking up the oxygen in my brain... sadly, I see no easy way out and I am too lazy to try any of the not easy ways, so I'll just berate myself a bit here about being an ambivalent, procrastinating fool who's high on apathy and passing it off as depression or something like that... sheesh, I remember when that would get a laugh out of people who knew me... now, all I get are imaginary sympathy cards... or are those get well cards?... what's the difference, they're all in my mind like everything else... I think I am going to play hookey from work tonight... yes, I know, it's a crime... but they've been short staffing us on a regular basis (so they're breaking the law, the federal regulations and half a dozen other policies and regulations and could be fined heavily for it, even shut down if a pattern is proven {and a pattern there is}, we pull of the miracle to fatten the manager's holiday bonuses and nobody says thank you because we're not supposed to know that management bonuses are tied into overall budgetary figures) and tonight there as close to the right number of staff as it will get for a long time, so I'm taking the night... call it mourning... for on a somber note, big biz screws us once again... this time it's C-Net... NEVER give them any business again... for they have shut down mp3.com... 40 million music lovers giving 250,000 independent artists an audience... the greedy music industry must love it... and c-net could care less about you, music lover... see for yourself... the story... besides, I felt like crap thew past two days... might have a virus trying to make a home for itself in me as a couple of co-workers were out with such symptoms... could also be the pigging out I did in recent weeks that culminated with a major ice cream and chips and sugar-caffiene drinks party this past weekend... two plus two equals time to change habits... so yesterday I cooked up some veggies... microwave to defrosts and then into the oven, since the stove top is coated with grease Sally's and I am tired of cleaning up after him... I'll stick the dishes in the dishwasher this morning though, they are starting to stink... he needs an old-fashioned (and amazingly tolerant) wife, any takers?... I, on the other hand, being of semi-sound mind (when I can find it) and the owner of a broken heart, am looking for a friend... no wifely duties, I am stubbornly independent (after doing 98% of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and everything else for myself since I was 6 years old, it's an old habit)... I do love to share everything, including chores and any activity we might call fun... yes, I want to trade in this lonelier-than-thou illusion for a shared-bliss illusion... life?... now all I need is the matching illusion... yes, that's life... just wanna have some fun, ya know?
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