once again I start an entry with apologies to anyone who emailed me and found their email bouncing... once again 10mb of email arrived in less than twelve hours... spambots must work overtime on weekends... the email is downloading into it's folders (99% into delete) and things should be running smoothely soon... for those of you who email me through my DLand address, not a problem, DLand mail is forwarded to a private address that has not been overly spammed yet... for those of you who have my more private email addresses (which means you emailed me and I emailed you back from a more private address), no problem...

it is my hope to meet new people, find new friends, and expend the network of people I know that motivates me to keep those public addresses out there in spite of the nuisance they cause...

and now, on with this entry

first of all, she reads a lot... and she uses quotes in every entry like I used to when my brain was only slightly more in tune with the words flowing through the ether... and the irony of her name, wordsofmine, amuses me because so many of the words on the site refer to others words, the books, the quotes, and (this is what is exciting me for some reason), the prompts (suddenly, I am excited by prompts... this might last a moment or a day, we shall see)... just look:

Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Thursday Threesom

of course I did not put them in order, after all, time is relative and besides, whatdya think I am, normal or something?... but I've always known about Friday Five (and many other prompt sites) and I patiently ignored them for a long time (and I might continue doing so even as I appear rather excited at the moment as I add five more new prompt sites to the list I've got somewhere around here)... but I love finding new stuff... and I love finding a word love and avid reader... so thanks for being out there, wordsofmine, for you've brightened my day...

as far as using the prompts, my excuse is primarily lack of computer power and laziness, Friday Five provides a much better reason by just up and quitting on us... do you feel ripped off because you donated to keep the site going and it just pulled the rug out from under you and didn't even have the ethical decency to leave the past 100+ weeks of prompts up available on the web {you know, the ones you and others paid for} or to turn the site over to be run be someone else so the memories and future generations could continue to relate to the entries you put up?... one of the chagrins I have about linking a lot is I really think it's frustrating when links go to dead sites...

so if I start using these prompts and linking to others who do and open waves of communication and linkage connections through the prompt site and then the site usefulness suddenly disappears like Friday Five did, I'll have pages and pages of meaningless links crisscrossing to nowhere all through my writings... and that might frustrate you, dear reader...

and on the other hand (always many hands in my head, ya know), we live in the moment, even here on the web and if we missed the moment, oh well... it would be nice in many ways if we could keep the continuum of time flowing endlessly in all directions so that everything is actually as connected in conscious reality as it is in the ultimate nature of the universe, but our brains do not seem prepared for such consciousness, maybe because life, as we know it, ends in death, as we know it (or don't, and therein may be the rub), so we let things go...

so maybe I'll start using prompts (and mems, as they're called elsewhere) and maybe I won't... it was still fun, if just for this moment, to imagine all the connections, old and new, we could find by getting into the prompt site world...

and suddenly, there's something new on the left side of the page there, a list of prompts for our use or viewing pleasure or just to make the left column longer and therein challenge me to write even longer entries to get to the bottom of the left column (have you noticed that's been happening lately?)...

browsng brings up all sorts of thoughts and sometimes a serious thought emerges... here's a pondering about relationships for you... you have a great date and you get into bed with the guy afterwards and climb on top naked and you say "I want you" and he understands that to mean you want him sexually, inside you, so he rolls you over and tries to enter, but you change your mind and he forces you (could not get out of bed?)... is that date rape?... I don't know what courts would say, but seems to me that it is, and yet, what a heck of a time to change your mind... but no means no... even moments after an aggressive yes... no means no... so the bottom line is he should have stopped...

the things you learn in cyberspace...

seems that they did not know each other well and may be a perfect example of the foolishness of long distance romantic relationships... further confirmation of my belief that physical trust and intimacy requires some time in shared space, not just lots of pretty words...

but then, that's just my perspective...

not that I always follow it... I've known very sweet sexual relationships within the first hour of meeting someone in physical space after sharing any thousands of words with them through the mail... and falling in love at fist sight is my favorite way to fall in love... and I've met people I loved through words who were not at all physically appealing to me in person...

I still don't understand how a guy can hear no and ignore it and physically force entry on someone... is sex really so hard to come by for some guys that they have to rape someone they are allowed to get naked and close to?... there are many reasons I would like to explore being female in another life, but I'd probably keep a taser weapon within reach, under any pillow I slept on...

sheesh, this is almost as bad as watching the news (Rasputin accidentally turned it on earlier and it's as depressing as ever... I think human beings are a rather sick species, overall... I wish I could find a world where enlightened thinking and kindness and honest love were the dominating traits in the dominant species... it's maybe somewhere out there, a dream if I recall, and we could make it real if we give it our all... yeah, this life is a compilation of varied acts of madness...

ok, time for a sudden subject change...

I just love it when the Simpsons take on controversial issues... ever see the one where Bart and Homer want to become Catholics because of the gorey stories like burnings and crucifictions and in comic book form and Homer likes the food and Bingo... Bart, of course, brings the feuding denominations together by pointing out that they're "the little stupid differences are nothing compared to the big stupid similarities"... some of the greatest genius is hidden in cartoons... and while we're on the subject of my opinions on the arts, I think the most talented actor alive today may be Johnny Depp... her's got more range than anyone else I can think of and that is what acting is about... most actors out there are personalities that fit a role, but Depp creates the role he takes on and I love the fact that he takes on roles that stretch talent to limits few actors have ever taken on...

so there you have it, a fine feathered entry if I've ever seen one (and dang if I know if I've ever seen a fine feathered entry, but that's not the point, whatever it may be)...

and hours ago this entry was done, almost, but for finishing touches and a few links, and the delay in uploading is because the past six hours were given to Precious who has the wonderful blessing of being pixilated by teen angst and emotional turmoil caused by her first hormonal experiences (and amazed as some may be by the facts of life as I live it, I feel as much of those first surges of emotions and hormonal experiences as I ever did, which can be quite confusing for a child who thinks me as old, but quite amusing for the child inside of me who ponders the present state of humanity)... ah, the sweet surprise of youth when love and lust appear as one, as suddenly as birth, as beautiful as a blooming rose, as precious as... as precious as... Precious...

shhhhh, we shall not tell her secrets here (only mine)... but we shall find thanks for the universe of time and space tonight for allowing me the wisdom of chance to take the night off so I could be here to listen and offer what I might in return for trust and faith and, now that the space is quiet again (except for the 1994 version of Phantom of the Opera with all it's horror of human hypocrisy at the root of distorted perceptions, ignorance, prejudice, greed, and superficial acceptance of conformity mixed with the devotion, obsession, infinite and eternal passion for the arts, the creative spirit, the beauty and wonder of music and love, the hunger to love and be loved, but as usual I digress) the opportunity to roam my thoughts and peel away layers of feeling for you continues through the night...

so exciting, the passion, that the little hairs all over my spine are riggling with ticklish glee... and you were wondering what might have become of me...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)