LIFE

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( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
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digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
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itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-06-08 - 11:43 a.m.

conversations lala8


> Reading through your thoughts below the only thing
> that really stands out and brings a tear to my eye is
> your statement that you haven't felt physical passion
> since high school.

Toronto came close, but there was always something not quite letting go in both of us (that would be Gail) and a year or two before Toronto there was Dawn, brief but wild... but the full fledged love at first site completely helpless falling in love feeling, that was once...

>Real passion is something I dream
> about and worry that I'll never find again.

and I am sad to think the my sone, but then, there's always hope...

>I thought
> I had passion with every one of the serious men in my
> life, but now I know that I only really had it with
> husband 3. He was the only man I ever knew who, maybe
> because he had so little self control in all of life,
> could completely let it go. And I could too with him.
> Everyone commented on how much in love we looked and
> acted, and I believe that we were. I was the only
> person he had ever trusted. He was so damned handsome
> and alive and needy and attached to me. He quit taking
> his drugs and I had to move out after a few months
> because he was just too unpredictable and getting
> violent. I was 6 months pregnant. It was
> heartbreaking. The "passion" came to an abrupt halt,
> which is much harder than a slow several year decline
> and death.

yes... I went from lover, soulmate, best friend of five years, househusband, daddy to four beautiful kids, living my dream of family (not perfect, but close enough) to the street, never to speak to them again, in one day...

she as afraid she'd lose the kids if she came to the states, or afraid of marriage because of her first one ending so badly (and not completely legally over due to her dragging her feet and him hanging on... he was hospitalized (psych) and then on meds for the last three years they were together... she had four kids... she was afraid of marriage... yeah)...

similarities can be eerie...

>Because I left HIM, he felt abandoned and
> couldn't trust me anymore, and he immediately got
> himself the below mentioned girlfriend and wallowed in
> alcohol and drugs and money, but told me he wanted to
> use the separation to fix things and everything would
> be OK and he would be true to me and I would be true
> to him,... Life became big deceptions and lies and
> heartaches and worries. I knew in my heart what was
> going on but I waited and let it happen to me and
> hoped he would come to his senses. I know that he
> loved me and I believe that he still does. He says
> that he does but he can't be believed anymore in
> anything that he says. He is too far gone. So, that
> is a long winded explanation of my passionate affair
> with him.

I sense we focus on mostly, if not all physical passion for the moment and I appreciate you sharing some of your experience with husband 3... could be you were blinded by passion and his appearance and powerful personality enough to let him control or manipulate you... I think real passion requires unconditional (or as close to it as possible) trust and that leaves us vulnerable to believe anything, including lies...

suddenly, our eyes open and we wonder how we could have been so blind for so long and wonder if we can trust our own judgment...

I have been there... may even still be on some level...

>The reason for saying all that is: I don't
> want to develop a physical relationship with anyone,
> man or woman, that will be passionless. That is one
> reason I won't go back to (husband 2). He is a
> perfectly nice person and your baby loves him, but he is so
> laid back as to be almost not alive and he is not
> passionate mentally or physically. He is not
> intelligent at all and I have told you how much
> trouble he has understanding emotional gymnastics.
> You have a million dimensions to your mind and he has
> 2.

a million, oh flatterer (ego loves it...






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