LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-06-12 - 11:59 a.m.

conversations lala12


and the weekend finally came and went and it was fun and the second week of the conversation begins (I think)...

> Yes, I feel special!

yay!...

>I loved the weekend, too.

yay yay!

>Before
> you came I didn't know if you would be like I thought
> you would be or if you would be the "kook" that I seem
> to attract.

me kook, you Jane...

ok, I am quite exhausted and should sleep, but I also must not abandon myself and all the loves of my life (so I gave some time to home people and to myself and words and stayed awake way too long and then checked mail and here we are... madness is assured)...

>I didn't know if we would get along in
> person the way we do "impersonally" by email. And I
> didn't know what we were going to do for a whole
> weekend.

you know you have a true friend when it doesn't matter what you do and you're still happy doing it...

I love words... I love sharing words with people who love words... I hope I always will and hope to always share words with people who matter to me... in words I find my truths and myself...

in words I keep my fantasies alive, my dreams can breath, my hopes flourish, and my confusions and conflict work themselves out...

people go away, words remain... and one of my two or three favorite dreams is to find someone who will share trust as much as I do in words, to bring the trust I find in words into physical world sharing...

I hope the sense I get from you, that we will listen to each other and look inside past the discomforts and fears and social courtesies to find the truths in each other (even some we might hide from ourselves at times), continues to be what we share whenever we share...

I like being personal with you...

>But it was great and I didn't want you to
> leave when you did.

ummm (glancing at the ceiling casually as I admit this next thought), there was a strong urge to just move in and call it home... I am not sure how comfortable you or your kids felt with me and don't expect instant acceptance / trust / love / and so on, but you are a family unit and ideally we should all adore each other... I so want family and feel so very comfortable with you... and yet, as comfortable as I feel with you emotionally and intellectually, I don't pretend to imagine I could hide my physical discomfort (and I have no wish to hide anything from you, though I also have no wish to do or say anything that might be a hurt for you and I hope my physical discomfort is not going to be one)...

above all else I want us to seek truth in each other, for that is the only way to be real and in the end, what is real is what matters most...

>And I am looking forward to next
> weekend.

me too...

>I have warm friend feelings for you. I
> appreciate that I can tell you anything and you are
> actually listening and getting an idea of the feeling
> and not trying to jump in and "fix things" or tell me
> what to do like most men.

I have always been in control of every situation I've ever truly become part of without conscious effort... it just seems to be the dynamic of my personality when interacting with others... maybe I should be a psychological case study for some panel of doctors or something...

I have always sought to just be a wallflower, to just blend in, to just be normal (whatever that is)... it doesn't work for me... and then I wonder if all that is just ego or rationalization or some complex defence mechanism...

I want to accept you as you are and encourage you, without pressure, to be the best you can be, the best you that you want to be in every way, to follow your true deepest dreams, to find your truest bestest happiness...

>However, I can tell when
> you are using psychological tactics on me to get me to
> do something without actually pushing.

please give me examples because I am not sure if I was consciously aware of doing this as I don't recall a specific moment... not to say I did not, just to say I might not et myself be aware of it... I want to learn about myself as much as you and everything else...

>You have a
> distinct advantage there.

I knew that once... strange as this may sound, I may have learned to forget, but that's not real, even if it gives me a sense of fitting in or belonging a bit... I'd rather be real... hopefully I'll remember how... I sense (and hope) you'll help me remember...

>I need to learn some of
> those techniques so I can get what I want from you!

I'd be happy to help you learn, when I remember...

>I
> would have to be extremely slick about it to keep you
> from catching on though. Hmmmm.

is this the part when I cock my head to once side and look like a puzzled puppy?...

> I was going to call you from my cell phone like I
> was supposed to but then I got really tired and
> decided to go to bed at 9:30 (I was so tired today. I
> must have finally gotten the cold that your baby had last
> week. She was exhausted for about 4 days. I considered
> sleeping in Dr. Douglass' office recliner this
> afternoon since I couldn't leave work. I rarely get
> sick and when I do I never stay home)

so responsible... that is commendable... I used to be like that once...

>Then I read
> some of my book, fell asleep, got up and took my
> clothes off, and decided to check this email. I should
> have just called. It would have gotten you up at
> least. I cannot go on any more. I have absolutely
> run out of gas. My brain hurts. It feels swollen in my
> head and my eyeballs hurt when I move them! Hope you
> don't catch it. Hee Hee.

rest and take care of you and I hope you feel better soon cuz I want to know you at your best (but if you need some nursing now and then, I'll do my best to help you get well too...

I think I am instinctively empathic on a very weird, intense level... I think individual sensitivity and personality is tied into the specific pressures on the spinal cord formed by an individual's posture and part of that empathy is actually adjusting my spine to physically experience another's presence and experience... my theory, perhaps, but it makes sense to me and I've actually felt it work and have proven it through interactions with others, even if it's beyond complete explanation... my illusion?... delusions of grandeur?... or maybe I am an alien... or maybe I'm a witch...

and it's been so long since I felt like someone truly wanted to know me (instead of just pretending to want to know me to get something from me) that I wouldn't want to lose you now...

I hope to find more time to write soon (for myself to express myself better) and to communicate with you... and I am so looking forward to continuing to get to know you (and me through your eyes and mind)... and we're gonna work on fixing your back pains too (if I can remember how) cuz I want you to feel comfortable and happy and healthy for a long long time...

me too...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
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once upon a diaryland
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older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
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A Diaryland Survey
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small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
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gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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