LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-06-15 - 1:48 p.m.

continuing


and we try another night at work, second consecutive, starting when no one is around (which doesn't happen too often because it's not wise to be alone in the hallway for too long for several reasons, but that's work stuff and we're not here to focus on work stuff tonight (after all, why work at work if you don't have to?... and they actually consider me conscientious to the point of obsessive compulsive at times... nothing like a great reputation to allow some free time for goofing off, aye?)...

yesterday was an example of what happens if I let the words build up for too long, that is, if I do not write daily... even mostly sleeping (and even mostly dead) and even though I deliberately cut my writing time short with many more words trying to bubble out of my brain through my fingers and even with much distraction from other things and people and some TV vegging and other things to do, a rather lengthy entry emerged... the trouble is that so many thoughts were running around my brain vying for the attention of the part of my brain that actually sends words to my fingers that any points I might have wanted to make may have been diluted or severely distorted, confused even, because it's kind of like trying to find a specific flow of water amidst a massive flood, if that makes any sense to you...

writing is breathing for my mind... as singing is breathing for me, period... and I've not been doing either very well or consistently or with all I can put into it (therefore not being all of me) for a long time now... so the idea of actually suspending the daily writing for any length of time is absurd (might as well >check me in now... and any real emergence from my psychosocial cocoon would be precipitated and facilitated by a dramatic increase in daily singing and anyone truly becoming an intimate part of my life would recognize the need for the writing and the singing and encourage it... ideally, thrive on it (if only as reader and audience, minimally) as much as I do... so what's up doc?...

I woke last night all set in my mind to pack a salad and eat healthy this week, but there was no time to do that and when I got to work there was a call for Taco Bell and my cravings of late have included Cholupas (even if I am not sure how to spell them) so I order a couple and then, getting home, I found the boxes of Hot Pockets I bought last week still sitting in the freezer so that was the after work meal (along with about 100 grams of imported European chocolate that Precious so thoughtfully brought home from Europe for me) and then tonight I woke too late for packing a salad again so it was the run for the border once again and now, just cuz I am consistent (not to mention a serious chocoholic), a Big Kat...

I figure if I record this decadence here I might be ashamed of myself or something and change habits... yeah, that might happen... I mean, I might change habits for a lot of reasons, but shame never worked on me... nor has guilt... but it's worth a try anyway... more likely someone like you who cares about me and who appreciates the benefits of a healthy diet and serious exercise will beat me over the head with my own stupidity and excuses and rationalizations and by caring so much and so often and so intensely that I not only can not ignore you, but you endear yourself to me as someone I must truly let into my psyche with some influence privileges (ever so rare an occurance in the real world) in my offline world and feel motivated to respond to your kind concerns with some actual actions of my own... I mean besides smiling huge and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside...

obviously I need to get back to where I once belonged, even though my name is not Jo Jo... and pick up the pieces of my broken everything and climb back out of the hole of stagnations and apathy and start logging in exercise again (one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, mile after mile, and do not stop until you get enough {and make sure enough is what you really need, not just what you want}, that is how it is done)...

fool that I am, I sit here tapping away at the keys waiting for (wishing for) some external motivation, for someone with some real interest in health and feeling optimally alive in these physical bodies to come along and inspire me to want to wake up and fly again (as opposed to the hope, skip, and jumps I do between my slow crawling around)... I suppose that, upon brief observation, I might give the impression that I am a rather manic energetic bouncy child-like kind of person and comparatively (based on the current cultural norms), I am... I am not, however, anywhere near my own personal energy level, no less optimal, so from time to time I send out this message in this bottle (and other similar want ads and lists of things I want most in this life... and I am just hopeful enough to believe somebody might care enough to respond (and some of you do, dear readers and friends, and that makes it all worthwhile)... and fool or not, I dream of the one stumbling across my bottles and...

we'll live happily ever after...

meanwhile, the day to day life continues and I do my best to continue to enjoy it... Precious reminds me of how exciting (and occasionally angst-ridden) it is to be a teenage and since my heart has never left those dramatic teenage years (and some may say I am emotionally immature as if that is some sort of bad thing or even an insult and I'll laugh knowing you'll never get it because that's better than the pity such an tired old and mostly dead perspective might inspire)... and Rasputin reminds me of what feeling like family is about as we are there for each other and kind of take each other for granted in a good way... and Berry at work reminds me of how good it feels to do a good job even if it is not only not appreciated, but generally frowned upon by lazier peers and mid-level managers who support the do-as-little-as-possible philosophy... and Bert at work reminds me of the path of a dreamer that I have long travelled in this lifetime for better and worse... I haven't heard from Helena, who reminds me of the comfort of friends without obligations, in a while and I've left some messages and while I'm not too concerned cuz we've been cool for years about fading in and out due to life changes, relationships, and business stuff, I hope all is well... and life continues to have slivers of hopeful smiles shining through each day in spite of the way the human race rains down it's general negativity and destructive nonsense...

even when I am lonely...

I still have not gotten to the catching up entries that I intend to get to when I get to having time to get to those catching up entries that I still intend to get to (get it?), but at least I found time at work to release some of the words that fill my head and maybe, just maybe, they came out in some semblence of cohesion that means something, even if it's just a mostly personal meaning reflecting the mostly personal daily life I wander through each day... and some people besides me even like my rambling too (thank you, bless you, yay)...

and on the horizon, my new friend from the weekend who shall be known as Ceilia Jello (pronouced Ceilia Yellow), reminds me of how it feels when someone might actually start believing in a friend (who me?) again... and the details will unfold as they may...


I hope your life is smiling much more than it might be frowning these days... it really is a wonderful world when we can put aside our fears and differences and unite in common causes that we can all agree about, like peaceful co-existence and caring and trying to live a harmless and positive life... I wish you such a path today, one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, and if you happen upon some motivation or inspiration along your way, use it well and share it if you can...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

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(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
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Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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