LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2003-09-28 - 8:52 a.m.

it is all about sharing...


I write to express myself, to know, and to share... it all started when I first found a crayon and learned it made marks on things and then I learned words and reading and writing and the world was never the same... after a while, my scattered pages became my written gardens and my first website was a way to say hello to the world and give the written gardens a publicly published form...

this is my domain, also know as the back door... and here is the closest thing to a site map as I've got for now... maybe I should start at the beginning (that might take forever, pick another place... ok) or some place before here and now...

start again...

in the beginning there was a void and into this void I babbled... ummm, ok, I'll try to keep this from becoming as long as the bible, after all, I'm not god... well, not your god, at least...

start again, again...

this is the main gate, the oldest portal I created that is still online... prior sites were deleted by the various free servers that offered them because they discontinued the free webspace... I ranted about them ages ago and if you really want to read the rants you can find links to them on the front page, which is a replica of the original site or home page I created back in the nineties... at first, like I said, I babbled... kinda like what I do here...

it started when I wandered online and explored the net looking for things to do back in the nineties... using a laptop that had an AOL connection, I found chat rooms and it took me back to the time I would write letters every day... once upon a time I had pen friends, hundreds of pen friends, and we shared life and creativity through written words sent through the mail... I published a newsletter called The Writer's Exchange, which focused on presenting poetry and shorts stories by those of us who love written words, and a small magazine called Paper Fantasies, which provided a way to network and make pen friends through aliases and fantasy persona... that was great fun...

anyway, I spent most of the first few years online in chat rooms and since ric (my name) was already used as a user name and so was candor (my other name... there, now you can look up my phone number and address and call and come visit... or you could just ask, but for this journal, call me candoor), I had to think up another... after I settled into the Yahoo chat rooms it was in the very early days of Yahoo and they allowed many more aliases than than allow now, so I created quite a few... the ones that stuck developed personalities all their own... I spent more time in a chat room called TheAsylumTM thank anywhere else and there I was known as anonanonanon... it was anonanonanon who originally started a webpage and wrote the front page, where we shall begin (even though this is the middle of this entry)... so start again one more time...

hello, who are you?

it was much fun creating the persona of anonanonanon, a 4 year old toon (cartoon character) without specific gender or species who was a long lost sib of Yacko, Wacko, and Dot and also related to Bugs and Roger and several other toons... it was a time of reaching back into my memories and paying respects to people who came before... and then I spent a few years in public newsgroups (before google apparently took them over) where I was known as newsbee, who developed a website of selected newsgroup posts and letters to strangers (and even got political, however briefly, under a psudonym... and gradually the rest of my writings spread out on to the web and to tie it all to a main portal I created the main gate (ah, we've come full circle in this loopy entry, have we?... well, where shall we go from here?)...

it occurred to me that someone out there might actually want to know me, the person behind the various odd names and babbles and letters and messages and persona, and I very much wanted to find local friends and true love and family, since I found myself once again at a very lonely places in this life... I created local email groups (eventually they were swallowed up by Yahoo) and put up web pages introducing myself to the world and influenced by concepts like the magic mirror from Romper Room and the Beatles song She Came in Through The Bathroom Window and partly by fantasies of an adorable girl climbing through my window (who did not necessarily have to look like Katie Holmes or Mila Kunis or Meg Ryan or... oh, 'scuse me, I'm off on a tangent again, aren't I?)... I called the portal to my personal pages the window (though it is a couple of years since it was updated so it has some old news and tones and probably a fair share of soot on the sill... house cleaning is part of starting over, so any day now, especially if someone else wants to move it... you?)...

the personal pages grew a journal and then more journals and more letters and all sorts of branches kind of like the tree that you'd climb to get to the window and I decided that the personal stuff needed a portal a bit less close to the bedroom than the window so I created the back door and my home on the web was taking a real home-like form... when I finally decided to get a domain last year (I stalled because my name, candor, was taken in it's .com, .net, and .org forms and I was not interested in creating it in any other form), I used it for the back door cuz the back door was on the server where I registered my domain...

so I rambled on in my private journals for years, though daily, it was kind of timeless and today could have been any day or night... it was (and is, cuz one of these days I will catch it up as it does follow the time life of life, even if it does it obscurely and in it's own time)... and then I found public journal sites and created one, but forgot about it for a couple of years... meanwhile, I followed a link from a blog I had been reading since the last millenium into the Diaryland world and decided, after reading a while, that I would start my own diary... so candora was born as a way to express myself to the DLand community and whomever might find that site on the internet... candora did not quite replace my original journals, but it kind of became a combination of a few and ultimately became a home to childinside, one of my first and closest to home persona as it grows... it is a place for my fantasy of a perfect world where innocence and trust and love are the primary governing ideals and ways and reasons to be... go ahead, make fun... I do...

on the flip side, there is the land of the mostly dead where I take my stupid thoughts, my depressive feelings, my laments and self-pity and apathy and procrastination and powerlessness and hopelessness and helplessness and all the not-so-nice-ness stuff that I find... I kinda hope if I keep it all in one place, it might be managed and not grow into a monster that permeates everything and takes me down into the bottomless pits of despair where mostly dead and the nearly dead and even merely dead become really clearly most completely dead, all clever lyrical plays on words aside... expressing the darkness gives me comfort and some sense of control and all along I've called it the method to my madness, so it must be ok since it has a cool name, right?...

being insatiable for sharing, I found that being a creative writer was not enough and though I love the praise and sense of having fans, I much prefer knowing people as real people and being known as a real person, so right on time I stumbled on the journal I meant to start two years earlier (but was distracted by the curse of Cruella) and that is where I've been sharing daily life, mostly, for a while now... meanwhile, what with my heart and spirit (high and low) having outlets, the intellectual (and philosophical) me was thinking all these deep thoughts (like Jack Handy) and wanted a place to put them so funda was born...

on a side note, regularly interrupted to continue downloading updates and software on to the other computer... so far all the Windows updates have been downloaded (something like 80MB and then I moved over to Tucows to get some protection software and basic stuff life Adobe Acrobat... so the other computer has been downloading all night and it's going on 10AM and I'm a bit groggy and Close Encounters of a Third Kind (I don't think it's the director's cut... it's on TNT after all and they're somehow squeezing it into 3 hours with tons of commercial interruptions) has been on the past almost three hours or so and huh?... Contact just started, how appropriate... where were we?...

other journals have popped up (and the original site journals are still open and will be caught up, eventually) and if you go here you will find a list of most of my journal type writing spaces... and you could always start at the back door or window or site map or you could just call 407-325-1482 and say hello and ask whatever you'd like to know...

I need a nap (feel free to wake me)...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






SAY HELLO
407-325-1482





and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there