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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-12-24 - 3:47 a.m.

a celebration of love


my life is made of many stories
and so far not one ends
this one is straight from my heart
to all of my successful friends


ode... to successful friends


that one was uploaded at the myspace blog earlier this month (and I know I mentioned it here behind the candoor before, but whether you've read it or I've included it in it's entirety here is uncertain to me at this moment... what is certain is that I am all but up to the current moment and still have hundreds of pages in scribble files and at least sixty pages in the main babble file... so I decided that this entry might run on a bit...

first, from the RealTime blog, I give you an entry that started this month because the first moments of this month have been profound moments in this life for me and maybe some more secrets will be revealed (if you have time to hunt for them) and also because it seems to fit as a trinity following the previous two entries that you really ought to read when you have time... so ok, an hour, I slept an hour this morning after rambling on about Zoes at myspace and putting in some quality time at The Social Orlando blog (inviting two well connected semi-Orlandonians to post there) and celebrating yet another anniversary of the first of December ( again) by opening yet another blog space that has not been linked up anywhere yet and after six magical moments poured six entries into it, I power napped (hey, aren't I cool?) that hour in the big green chair and then headed out to work... about twenty ounces of Code Red later, after work, I showered and ordered a pizza and sub and ate to my palate's content with a 32 ounce Code Red, then lamented missing the No Snow Show (sigh), but enjoyed the One Act Play (and even stayed awake) that I chose over the great concert because Precious was TD (Technical Director)... wonderful tear-jerking play about life in a German concentration camp in world war II...

and then, or sort of now, after the play, there was the 64 ounces of Cherry Mountain Dew Slurpee I just drank while listening to Rasputin's CD of 70's soft rock songs (the likes of Burton Cummings Stand Tall, Kenny Nolan I Like Dreaming, Paul Davis I Go Crazy, Randy Van Warner Just When I Needed You Most, Dan Hill Sometimes When We Touch, Terry Jacks Seasons in the Sun, Leo Sayer When I Need You, 10cc I'm Not In Love and others of similar ilk not polite in Smash's crowd, but still part of my musical history) that I remember oh so emotionally bitter sweetly, heavy on the sweet syrup and now, The Princess Bride sends the emotional high through the roof... perhaps there are no coincidences, but whatever, this December 1st could only have been more amazing if I somehow got to the No Snow Show and it was even more amazing than I imagined it might be...

on a side note, I was discussing ideal concert lineups with Precious last night after she came out of her room bouncing up and down because she just discovered that Fall Out Boy is coming back to Orlando in January... I impulsively chose the following line up: Brandtson, Meg & Dia, Nada Surf, The Spill Canvas, Say Anything, Brand New, and a closing act yet to be decided... of course the ideal after party would last until everybody but Dia and I fell asleep... just in case you were wondering about this, now you know...

and now, I listen to The Princess Bride (the amazing synchronicity continues) and let the inspiration of sleep deprivation, the first of December, the Dew, syrupy 70s ballads, the emotionally draining One Act Play, the positive feedback at myspace, the search for Zo, The Social Orlando, the new as yet unlinked blogspot blog called onceinlove (ooooo, did I just give away it's location?), eggplant rollatini pizza, your wonderful comments, and all the intangibles not thought of or mentioned take me where it will...

and loving every minute of it...

the wonder of love, most passionate, the most pure
we call it true love, when we want for no more
than just another moment in each others arms
as you wish, as we wish and we call it charms

and we always are amazed as if we thought it impossible
and yet it fills our stories and deepest of dreams
and we always are surprised as if we never expected it
and yet it is our greatest hope and what life means

the answer to the question of what life is about
is found inside in your love and letting it out
the answer is loving and being loved
there's nothing more holy, there's nothing above

and we always are enthralled as if time can stand still
but there is no time when it comes to love
and we always are enchanted as if out of control
to give unconditional trust, that's what we dream of

if we are honest when we look inside
if we listen to the songs in our heart
if the truth we feel as truth is not denied
then we know exactly where to start

the wonder of love, whatever we do
that's always the very best part
the wonder of love, for me and you
obvious right from the start

the answer to the question of what life is about
is found inside in your love and letting it out
the answer is loving and being loved
there's nothing more holy, there's nothing above

the wonder of love, most passionate, most pure
we call it true love, when we want for no more
than just another moment, together forever anew
as you wish, as we wish as all of our dreams come true


you may already know that you can find these, and others, in a new blog just started today, if you know where to look... yes, that new space has been linked here before... and yes, you either took the time to explore and already read these rhymes or you missed it... in case you missed it, well, here are a few samples... and in case you did not miss it, you are probably curious or sentimental enough to read them again... love you for that...

I never felt as good as I did when I was in your arms
you might say I was just a kid and don't really know
but I've lived a life full of love I cared, much was shared
and experience speaks for me now,
for all the wondrous love I made
still nothing compared

with your kiss - with the bliss - that I knew with you

I never felt as true as I did when you believed in me
you might say I flipped my lid but I'm not crazy
for I've taken my time and nothing has changed
I've evaluated a wonderful life
and I would only change one thing
it might sound strange

but your kiss - is the bliss - still the best - confessed

nothing has ever felt as true, nothing has ever felt as real
nothing has ever gotten so through to the core of my soul
nothing has made me feel as good as you did
when you shared ecstasy
the best life I lived
was when you were with me


that one feels incomplete, but it remains here as it was cut and pasted here... cuz maybe that holds a deeper meaning we do not want to loose or leave behind...

it's a new day - and I'm still in love with you

you said let's take our time and make sure it's real
you wanted it sublime, we'll that's how I feel
and if you're still there, right where we left off
then you know time proved love's never really lost

true love is forever and another day
beyond eternity true love knows the way
true love is infinite and then even more
beyond the rational that's what love is for
and it's true - it is you - I adore
and no one - can offer you more

it's a new day - and I still believe in you

you said let's not rush in to make sure we're sure
it's never enough, we always want more
and that is true love, the endless fountain
of hope's energy, let's do it again

true love is forever and another day
beyond eternity, true love knows the way
true love is infinite and then even more
beyond the rational, that's what love is for
and it's true - it is you - I adore
and no one - can offer - you more

eons are inundated with fears
wisdoms passed down through countless years
but every other way misses what we don't miss
the passion, the peace, security, the bliss
it's a new day...
and there is still no time or space when we kiss


for those of you who have not been gagged with a spoon yet (bless your romantic sentimental hearts), I thank you most seriously for appreciating this side of my personality... ordinarily, I suppose, when a brand new web space is not being created, such rhymes would find their way into Candora's Diary... fans of candora know there's been a lot of silence over there and I suppose I could have repeated these rhymes there and maybe reach more people by not tying together all of my writing spaces as much as I do (heck, I might even seem more approachable and find more responses, but then, I don't want to pretend to be something I am not just to lure you in...

sigh...

I know it's just a dream, but what else do I have
to hold on to each night, the empty space beside me
so why shouldn't I dream of the best time I had
when everything felt right and nothing was denied me

there's no one who looks at me now
with your love in their eyes
so I remember how it felt
before love became lies

a simpler time of innocence
when dreams could still come true
and every waking moment was
about me and you

no one holds my hand the way you used to hold my hand
no one looks at me as their whole world and
no one shares the sweet emotion
of passion and devotion
that came natural to us
unconditional trust

and I know it's just a dream, but it's better than holding
on to nothing every night, I let our love guide me

through the lands of loneliness
and the valleys of despair
it's my way around depression
remembering how it felt to care
as much as we cared
and remembering how it felt to share
as much as we shared

it keeps love real, at least in my mind
until someone comes along who makes it real
so I can make love real again, and then
that will be the time to leave our dream behind

I know it's just a dream, but what else do I have
to hold on to each night, the empty space beside me
so why shouldn't I dream of the best time I had
when everything felt right . . .


you might ask how do I deal with the wait, with the loneliness, with the possibility that intimate true love may never come to be shared with me again... or not... but in case you do ask, you are witnessing how I do it... the method to my madness... how I keep the emotions alive and exercised and hopefully fresh even as they sit gathering dust on a shelf inside me... especially as November becomes December each year...

this is how it used to be every year
as I would remember you
and pay respect to the feeling
of a love so true
that it felt more alive
than anything else I would do
and what kept me going was believing
you knew it too

this is how it was every year
as I would open the feelings again
and reach past the emptiness
to believe we were still friends
and while it may be all
no more than a fantasy
it is what keeps me believing in love
and believing that love
can still happen for me

so who am I to go against tradition
and who am I to stop a bleeding heart
and who am I to resist the submission
that makes love real enough to tear reality apart
this is how I knew right from the start
I am blessed with endless love inside my heart

so as long as I am alone
instead of lamenting
instead of forgetting
how it feels to be in love
I take a few moments each day
and devote them to remembering
how precious it can feel
when everything a heart dreams of
comes true
this is how I still remember you
this is why I still remember you

and in a world where so many turn off their hearts
as if dreams can not come true
I feel blessed
that this is still something I can do


and I feel blessed... even more blessed to share this with you... thank you for reading and if you do appreciate the kind of love I dream of sharing (the kind of love still alive and full of hope inside of me), then blessed all the more... it's a wonderful feeling I hope everyone can find within themselves one day... and to share it, that is the point, the bottom line, the meaning of life...

I mean, in case you wondered J







. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


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the moment

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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random chance

who me?

leave a note?
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you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
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202 Things
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and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
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DO ME WRONG!
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SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
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loving linkers
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