LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-07-25 - 6:54 a.m.

blessings


well, this week has certainly been a roller coaster around here what with most of the voices in my head blurting out whatever the heck might have been laying around in my head without much concern for where the words landed... no sorting into other places, just plain old blurting and blathering...

was it good for you?...

I wouldn't know much about you as I've turned off my psychic reading abilities (no, I did not give up my psychic powers for lent because that joke seems too old to tell right now) and slowed in my reading and exploring your writings, at least in the past week or two, to little more than those of you who leave notes or reach out to me in some way... selfish, perhaps, but sometimes the time is used this way...

and I continue rambling so that it is rare that any entry remains up front long enough to be read by more than a few people (or maybe a few dozen on a busy day, I don't know how reliable the stats might be) so the vast majority of you probably just shake your head wondering what the heck I am rambling on about most of the time, especially as most of us, yes I too, can not afford the time (or just don't want to) to sift through all the words and the links within links to read all the references and the deeper stories within the surface babblings...

stepping back a moment and using my perspective, I see that since mid-June, this diary has fluctuated a lot and if I had time I'd have probably written many more entries for my other writing places for as exemplified in just the last few days, the heart cries out to be heard, the darkness seeks light, or at least understanding, and the ambivalence is high all around me and so much is left unfinished...

and who actually follows all the links to read all the related words to get as much of the message I attempt to send to understand what might be understood at this moment?

my hope is a blessing for me...

it's blurting, yes, and blathering, much, but somewhere in the words, I am... and here I am hoping to be found... and here I am hoping to be found by someone who wants to come out to play... and here I am hoping to be found by someone who wants to come over and become a friend... and here I am hoping to be found by someone who wants to share the time to truly start to understand... and here I am hoping to be found by someone who actually wants to create an unbreakable bond... and here I am hoping to be found by someone who is a soulmate... and here I am hoping to be found by the one...

so many people, or one, que cera sera...

and on the surface, in recent entries, I offer a few ways great to interact... even as I am at the low ebb of my interactive bio-rhythms, I pass along the precious opportunities to share in the temporary attractions on the left... the blogathon (here)... the compliment (here)... and the petition and the survey...

don't mention it...

or do, as you wish...

we all have lives, some busier than others, some emptier than others, some more personally satisfying to each of us than others... most of us want something... and those of us who pour words onto the public web sometimes express what it is we want, sometimes covertly or obscurely, sometimes blatently or clearly... and if we are lucky, someone responds...

I want to thank the few of you who respond, and yes, you are a relative few in the scheme of things... you are precious and few, as a song once said, and I wish there were more and better ways to thank you than by putting these words out here... I wish I could somehow capture the emotion in my tears of joy when I am feelng low or when I am feeling dire hunger for attention and I find a note or some other message from you... I know I avoid my email sometimes (sometimes?), but that does not diminish the emotion of finding words there...

I feel blessed knowing you are out there...

I wish you could understand the experience I've known in this life... the euphoric highs to live fondest dreams as easily and naturally as if they were the only way, so meant to be that they could not be avoided no matter what... the unbelievable confusion as those dreams fell apart as if they were made of sand or clouds that no hand could hold on to for more than an imaginary moment... the devastating lows that followed the loss of all tangible evidence that those dreams ever existed... the abuses of so many, friends and strangers, who through some survival instinct or perhaps perverse pleasure, choose to kick those who are down... and above all else the infinite hope that was there from the start, through it all, and right here and now, in spite of the profound loneliness and vast silences that attempt to fool me into thinking that nobody cares and that giving up is inevitible...

giving up is not inevitible for me... and I care and I am somebody, so somebody cares... and that voice that seeks to hear and see and believe the worst is wrong... and I will remember that... and I will remember everything... and I will continue hoping... blurting... blathering... rambling... babbling... rhyming... obscurely... unabashedly... any way I am able... I will continue hoping...

I know you're out there somewhere...

and every song I can remember, every word I've ever shared, everything I am will hang on to that hope in spite of the prevailing winds, the floods of depressed thoughts, the suffocation of apathy, the discard of ambivalence... I shall ride the waves of irreverence and float on clouds of fantasies until the moment arrives when I am sharing again...

whether you relate more to my downbeats or my heartbeats or my pastbeats or the present I lay before you in this diary (or any of the other colors of my literary rainbows, it's all fundamentally the same me from different angles, at different times, all I am today is all I've ever been and can bring to share in this moment, and most of all, through your eyes...

what you see is what you get, what you get is what you want to see...

even when you close your eyes...

especially when you close your eyes...

and the hope that the one who sees all I see, feels all I feel, and wants to share all that can be shared and more at times, not as some curse or burden or Moaning Myrtle eternity, but as the opportunity to share the moment and in each moment, build a bridge across forever, finds me... with eyes wide open... with arms wide open... and without any of the ironic or cynical hypocrisies we euphemistically call only human today...

no imaginary ways to shirk responsibility... no crutches... no avoidance... no denial... just being honest and open and true and real not just to the best of our ability, but to the pain and beyond, to the limits and then further, towards infinity...

I will not give into the thought that I might be the only one...

I am... so it is possible someone else is too...

if you are feeling the lift in the words in this entry, feel free to use it to keep yourself afloat if ever you find doubt or fear weighing you down... if you are relating to more, have time for more exploration, feel free to use the contact information on the left... if you are laughing or crying, feel free to tell me why... and if you want to talk, feel free to call...

most of all, feel free to be all you can be...

I am out here to share, to listen and hear, to feel and to learn, to do each in turn and to know all I can about being human... to find what is true... to share it with you... this is what I do...

and whatever you do, I shall continue...

may you feel blessed today.






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
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Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




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blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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and if you want to leave
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hope you make a lot
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