LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-07-26 - 4:05 p.m.

keep your balls in the air


ok, so how many entries does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?... or, on a mildly more serious note, how many entries can pile up in a WORD file before the file becomes too big for this old computer?... so far the file is more than 500K, however big that is, and still growing... and in an only semi-related query we ponder, how many days can go by without an entry here in this once proud (well, egocentric, at least) daily diary?... and in another semi-related note that is more related to the other semi-related note, how many entries can be uploaded in a day and ultimately, the real question is how many entries can be wasted in a day since Id be willing to bet that the last entry of the dozens of entries I upload will be the only one that gets any sort of readership or comments...

but maybe a few of you will actually make the time to read all of the suddenly appearing entries and for that, you and those mentioned herein are blessed (and I am eternally grateful)... yay then, lets all be fools and shall not forsake me oh my darling... I am still listening to her mix and I found a way to download all the mp3 files so I have them on my computer for that fateful day when I have a cool little mp3 player on a computer that can play mp3 files while I do other stuff like ramble on like this... and speaking of someone into music, at least, I was pondering what it would be like to really be involved in music again and of course certain people come to mind...

cuz you see, I promised dangerspouse a dozen or few entries dedicated to him and all he got was this damn comment:

I love you cuz I have to make everything ok, or something like that... sure, you add me and I shrink up like a scrotum in an ice bath, but I am basking in the glory of being added you your illustrious list, really I am... and soon there'll be a dozen or two entries dedicated to you, or at least a few dozen entries that have been waiting for me to have time to upload cuz, for better or worse, I do still write almost every day... and you, you don't even have to write, you get people who hate you to write entries for you... that is talent... well, I hope you enjoy your good fortune and keep your balls in the air...

I should probably point out that we should read nothing into the reference to male anatomy, especially since I really was thinking of juggling in that last line, sort of like keeping your powder dry or something... the man is amazing, after all, even if we dont let on to who he really is (hes not Howard Stern, ok?) and if you dont read him youre missing out... speaking of hissing out, I dearly miss the wonderful writers I dearly miss because I havent had the time to do any reading in so many weeks that Ive lost track...

but here we are, or I am, writing again... a bit more each day until weve put together all the thoughts from all the days we missed... of course if we count all the entries in the RealTime blog and the other new writing spaces (you can find the new ones and many others listed in that RealTime blog I just happened to casual mention in passing with no ulterior motive cuz Id never think of suggesting that you might want to follow along with my bouncing life in RealTime in briefer entries that attempt to reduce the babbling and stick to the fact or life as I experience it in RealTime...

refreshing my memory recently over at myspace, I found Susie Cool has a few sites... I met Susie at one of her first live performances at a local club (The Lost and Found)... she's a folkie from the old school with some new twists...

and so I go to work each day and try to keep in touch with myself by writing and still give my attention to the people I love and the rest of the world and there doesn't seem to be any time left for me but I've got to take me seriously or no one else will... and the car needs an oil change and a check up and the house needs a cleaning desperately (constantly) and the laundry is piling up and I've got to fix my bed and there's still more stuff to sort through and throw out or put away and there's the stuff in storage to move down here and there's bills every month to remember and there's trying to motivate myself to remember that life is better when I am in better shape and there's the trying to keep the computer from crashing and all the big little things like eating healthy balanced meals and bathing often...

so many balls, so few hands...

and all I want to do is make love surrounded by music that inspires sweet dreams of sunrises and beautiful days spent laughing together all the way to the sun goes down and then all I want to do is make love immersed in music and magnificent sunsets that blend into the feeling of endless nights in each others arms... if I could choose just one ball to have and to hold, to toss and to catch, to roll up the mountain and chase down the other side again and again and again, this would be it... if I could have only one dream, one day, one moment, this would be the lifetime for me... and maybe I am just a dreamer... but I'm not the only one... and I hope...


the night talks to me all the time, as a lover and a friend
the night always leads me to rhyme, for it song never ends
the night calls my name, reaching deep within
taking me back to where I begin
to find the sweet peace and security
that lives deep inside of me

and if you understand the night as I do
then maybe I can share my night with you

just then, for no apparent reason except to toss a few more random balls in the air, tude spiders qurl read...

and as secure as I may appear (and can be) in the end I am sure of just one thing and that is that I can be sure of nothing for everything changes on both sides of perspective and perspective itself has an infinite number of sides (and is there really an infinite number in the first place?... or last place, for that matter)... confidence is a mayfly buzzing between the ears oblivious to doubt as if this moment is all that will ever be...

and this entire diary was written as a real life in black and white account (or from another perspective, a complete work of fiction) based on another moment, not that moment, but a moment of false security in which confidence is a pretense and the absence of doubt is a self-delusion only exposed in those rare moments the writer glances up from his hunched shouldered squat in the chair to realize the position and feel the spinal pressure and all the years of waste going into the moment of awakening to catharsis as if a blind man can see for the first time all over again...

before falling apart, however, pause for distraction in the brilliant light of others, the curious mind of Quasar9 and the playful enlightened smile of the Red Monkey and the questioning silence between Lydia's laughter and the stunning stares and random music (almost left behind by fortune) and visions of hope in a glancing blow from the winds of chance and just believe in love...

till tomorrow...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
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(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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