LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-08-01 - 2:45 p.m.

I ask a lot, huh?


I know I ask a lot of you guys... what, you didn't notice?... it really isn't all ego (but please do stroke me all you want, k?)... I'd like to believe I have a lot to offer (it was easier to show that when I had relatively unlimited funds, but I'm still the same person inside {I think, I hope?} and it's the inside that matters)... and I am kind of shy in some ways, or reserved, or deliberately obscure or something like that for some reason... like when I am a few days behind in updating I'll often put the deeper more personal entry amidst others instead of letting it be the last entry I upload (so it might have the most readers)... I ask you to dig if you want to know me, to take the time and make the effort... my way of avoiding intimacy?... or perhaps just my way of stagnating... or testing who can be trusted?... oh, why do I ever have to be so... so... crummy...

trusting is the most valuable thing I've ever felt and I wonder if I do it (or can do it) anymore... it could be just a temporary mood brought on by being alone too long and not having any concrete physical world proof of my ability to actualize unconditional trust as I used to and my worry that I might not be able to (and logic and laughter both confirm this probability, especially since I know that worry is a waste of time), but heck if I can always rise above the blues and blahs and doubts while I've got any proof (not a fun spiral, ya know?)... but anyway, I put myself out here and hope your words of caring will continue and increase and believe in them and keep hoping the physical world will reflect the caring and trust someday soon...

until then, I'll be rambling up and down the ladder of doubts and security I suppose... when i can actually get one of these uploaded, that is...

it could be cuz school is starting up again (or about to) so kids are getting back from summer vacations (and diving into their DLand diaries) and with kids back at school parents are finding more free time (and diving into their DLand diaries) and maybe diaries are part of a school day (which would be a great way to get writing and computers to be fun in a classroom, are you listening teachers?) and which kids are doing that teachers have time (to dive into their DLand diaries), but whatever the reason, the DLand server is choking again so entries here have been staggaring, late, and maybe even somewhat more grumbly than their usual grumbliness...

I am also feeling pressed for time more, partly because I am working more hours lately and partly because the distractions of living with others remain time-absorbers and partly because I have allowed myself to wallow a bit in laziness and ambivalence (just in case you thought that was over and done now that I started working out regularly again, you can breath a sigh of relief, or worry, depending on which side of that particular fence you live on)...

and there's also a build up of stuff on the inside (as I tried to mention a few times, some of which emerged in fill-in entries in the January of the land of the mostly dead, but alas, once again time ran out before I got rolling there)... and if you do not remember (or did not read them before), you'll just have to try to figure out which are the newer fill-in writings and which are the writings that were actually written in January or in the months between then and now cuz I'll be a brat and not tell you...

I ask a lot, huh?...

anyway, I intend to take some time off work one of these days... and then, hopefully there will not be too much interference around this place and I will dive into the creative depths (and emotional abyss) and express the stuff still dragging me down and release more of whatever needs releasing so whatever healing or fixing or rising above that can happen will happen and I will remember how good exercise and living fully feels and return to doing just that even without a friend who knows and cares and helps or a equal partner on this journey through the madhouse of my mind and this world...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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