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last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
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itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

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utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
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daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




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all musicals




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ill will press
the guide
purple
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maximum awesome
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something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
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CULTURE

the superficial
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this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
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(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-11-25 - 11:09 a.m.

just another personal ramble


writing was limited this week... or was that last week... well, writing was haphazard both weeks and you see the uploading (if you check in every day) was delayed... every day this week it was something else... working late several days (like today, until almost noon, which means almost thirteen hours)... and hardly sleeping at all the past few weeks... and then there was the plays at the high school that filled up one of my nights off (last Friday night) and the drum circle self-awareness self-help-thing group that filled up the other day off (that was last Saturday night clear to past four AM, which included writing a spontaneous save-the-world song cuz I was asked to write a song {yeah, I know, already mentioned but still to be uploaded} and then a 3AM walk around town with a guy and his dog)...

there were two parties at work (both on my nights off, but in our night shift communal effort to foster better comradery, we go in for the parties whether we are on duty or not) that occupied more time (and more nonsense from administration as the place goes through yet another shake-up... it's pretty much an annual event that's becoming a bi-annual event, with random flare ups whenever the budget needs tweaking... that's what happens with privatized health care delivery, staff {supplies} are expendable based on patient population {demand}... lousy job security on top of mediocre pay, but it's still good for the heart {at least it is for mine} to be in a nurturing profession)...

there were day time meetings and afternoon pick ups and other things to do... run run run, yet no energy or time left for exercise or sleep... not good, right?... and I somehow took at least a couple of days off from work and all I did with those was get into the vegetative couch potato mode that dominates this home space...

I've been eating a lot of pasta this week, trying to save money and get out of the habit of going to restaurants (since I do not have the income to pay for restaurant meals as often as Raspy does and I've been getting more and more invites to go out to breakfasts and lunches and dinners lately... unfortunately, none are of the social potential relationship nature, so I'm still so lonesome I could cry {or is that die} and that is the wet blanket that squashes my inner child's exuberance more often than not lately... booo)... and I've maintained the extra weight I put on since the hurricanes, but hopefully have not gone up any further... self-pity really does suck, ya know?...

and Raspy bought a turkey and some canned fixings (string beans and yams) and cooked it, so we'll have a sorta home-cooked traditional dinner even though I do not like turkey much (except when it's fat free in a sandwich during my eat healthier diet phases... but then, it's not that I like it so much... it's just that fat free protein is not always easy to find and the sliced turkey is available)... they actually took a stab at cleaning the kitchen (far from meticulous and the floor wasn't swept, but sometimes it's ignore and eat what family cooks and hope not to get sick... we didn't get sick)...

and two dear people stopped by this morning to check up on me cuz I had my phone off the past two days and always took off the past two nights and that was a good feeling, to have people at work care enough to stop by the casa de candoor... if only there was a comfortable and clean place to welcome people to sit and relax... alas, it's not the time in life to ask for everything, I've had that before and may have it again, but not today... so I am very happy with what I do have, caring people at work...

as for this particular holiday, it's not one I pay much attention to... I have, in years passed, banged my drum and ranted about the hypocrisy of celebrating the genocide that created this land of the free, home of the brave (which brave, right)... but it's so far from social conscience or consciousness in this culture that in this year of apathy I just let it pass... I might not be too involved with the whole Xmas season either, since holidays really are for those who have loved ones in their lives and I've wandered without a partner for so long that I am not inspired to celebrating anything much... ultimately, I am a being that lives to be in love and I have not beein in love (except in fantasy) in long enough for my heart to be mightily depressed... the only saving grave about me is that I have a child's mind that does not buy into depression or self-defeat enough to let my depressed heart take over too much... ultimately, it's a stubborn refusal to accept low self-esteem that saves me in this life...

there, in case you didn't know that, now you do... another tid bit from my psyche, another layer of who I am... I do not become a different person when I fall in love, I might seem to (I've been told I do) because my heart lights up and the energy seems endless, but I am just me caring with more energy and enthusiasm... in these solitary phases I am more reserved and care through my work and in subtle ways... and I vegetate more... and sigh a lot... and hope and wish and dream...

thanks for reading...






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