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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-07-09 - 3:25 p.m.

another day behind


we'll catch up one of these days (...and the cats in the cradle and the silvers spoon...... erp)... and so I finally uploaded some of the recently oft-mentioned inspirations (start here and the next seven or eight pages will follow... if you click on next, that is... and don't get too lost in the links)...

and I made it down to 188lbs at the doc's office for my check-up, which was reasonable considering I did not take it seriously until the last week of my promise to the doc... so I told myself I'll not rise above 190 again (I said the same thing when I dropped under 200 and so far, have kept my word to myself and no matter what else, it's always better when I do that)... the blood presure numbers were down too, 136/90, which please my doc more than me, but she encouraged with words like "going in the right direction" and "no new meds"... and my cholesterol dropped from 198 to 180, which is further signs of improvement (the bad cholesterol went in the right direction too, but I forget the numbers... the good cholesterol dropped two points, but hey, nobody's perfect, not even cholesterol)... so I think my doc stopped pressing the panic button about my blood pressure... for now...

see (have I ever explained this in one breath?)... I went to the doc for a check up last year... it was my first check up in more than ten years, so I got the works (blood, urine, cardio-stress, colonoscopy, and so on... yes I know, yuck)... everything came back telling me that I have gotten older, slacked off majorly on diet and exercise (like, capital DUH, I didn't know these things), and may have an unknown history (I have no biological history, being adopted a few times and losing any paper trail that might have been recoverable) of high blood pressure brewing in my genes...

so the idea of returning to taking care of this body was reinforced (flashing back a bit further, I went to the doc for a full check up because I wanted to start exercising more seriously and figured a serious check-up would be a sensible thing to do before I started running marathons)...

and the numbers were unpleasant, at best... 198 for cholesterol, 200+ for the weight (the first doc's appointment had me at 204, I think, but I was up over 210 last year before I remembered how lousy that feels... feeling dumb for not paying attention to how the body I inhabit feels, I decided it was time to either live better or die better, again... and again, I chose live better... previously I came to crossroads where I chose to stop drinking and playing with drugs and along the way i've refined the choices to eliminate daily caffeine and reduce chocolate binges and switch to mostly low or no fat food products and increase healthier foods I have learned to love even though I considered them worse than poison when my taste buds were younger)... anyway, the doc is happy with me in the 180s and seems to think a goal of 180 is good enough, but I'll see how it feels when I get there and probably will reach for something in the lower 170s...

and the cholesterol was no surprise, since I spent the nineties switching from vegetarianism to what might be called the Italian-Chinese diet, heavy on cheeses and oils and pastas and fried anythings and spices, which was where my diet was the last three years before deciding to think about living again early last year... 198 was actually better than I expected... and since I am far from strict about low-cholesterol foods (I will still mange at The Macaroni Grill and other favorite Italian restaurants... and so on... so there), I figured switching to no-fat margarines, cheeses, meats, and so on in the house and limiting my doesn't matter what's in it mindset for eating out would improve the healthy numbers and apparently it's working on the cholesterol numbers...

as for the blood pressure, I was surprised to find it up around 140+ and 90+ with perks up to 160+ and 110+ even though I usually went to the doc after rushing around at work after a full five day work week and rarely getting nearly enough sleep... I've got a feeling it was skewed by the timing and no, I did not check it myself at other times because I can be stupid that way... so after putting it off for a year and having some new research lowering the safe numbers come out in the past year... and having not dropped the weight I thought about dropping all year and not starting the daily exercise either... my doc forced blood pressure pills down my throat...

well, she did...

I hate taking pills unless I decide I want to... I hate putting anything into this body that does not taste good, feel good, or give me streamers (err, I mean do something interesting to my senses... yes, I did enjoy recreation drugs... a lot... once upon a time... now you have the answer to the question you may have been asking, if you haven't played with grugs and/or judge them to be permanently debilitating, that is... Timothy Leary did finally die, after all... whether he's still on the outisde looking in or not is debatable)... anyway, I do not like taking pills someone else tells me to take unless I know them well and I have rarely ever paid for drugs (I figured, in my infinite wisdom, that if I did not buy my own I would not too too much... ummm, I could have been wrong)... and they are not pills I will have to depend on for any period of time... I have dependency issues... I don't depend on anything for anything... maybe that's why I am alone, huh?...

so anyway, I trusted the doc enough, after a year of getting to know her, to try to pills... especially since they were free... I doubt I would have let them down my throat if they were not free... she doubled the dosage a couple of months ago and they were still free... and they are still free for the next two months, so I'll continue... my goal is to drop enough weight and do enough regular exercise and cut out enough salt (what?... cut out salt?... who said that?) and heavy fats to see if I can get off the pills... I'll try to convince the doc of that in September if I actually took the weight loss and exercise and dietary habits seriously enough by then...

I am not one to deny my sensory pleasures in this life... I'd rather enjoy life than live an extra ten years of a life of abstension if it means struggling with miserable choices... so I reach for balance and find ways to enjoy the balance and allow a reasonable about of decadence... once I return to a comfortable/healthy weight and exercise pattern again, I shall readjust my habits and include chocolate binges, all-you-can-eat buffets, full-fat Italian cheese dishes, and other favorites back in my weekly diet... and we shall see how it goes from there...

so anyway, this is, I suppose, the state of the health entry... that's not what it was intended to be, but then, there wasn't much of an intention to write about anything in particular except to catch up on yesterday since we're a day behind again, mostly cuz of the focus on finally getting the candora entries out there... enjoy your day and take care of yourself... I hope you've gotten something worthwhile out of this, if only to know me a bit better, since this entry was as much my talking to myself and reviewing my health as it was an entry for you to read... later I intend to get to the gym and before the weekend ends, add an entry for today and tomorrow and then, who knows...

feel free to offer up ideas...






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