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(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
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real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




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PO BOX 780398
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send me some music
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-10-16 - 10:34 p.m.

something about the writing



the previous entry is a departure from the usual format of entries here at casa de candoor and may never happen again (does that make it a collector's item?), but then, one never knows, do one?... in any case, it is an example of the raw product of the mind of the candoor while rambling on and on through the stressors and strains of daily life in this perculiar world (in this particular case, at work)... being at work, naturally a work rant was necessary to begin the process since this diary is about the life in black and white and we begin with the details of said life and that is accomplished by looking around me and seeing what I see and writing about how it looks and how I feel about it...

and then, being that there were profound stressors building up over the past week, I said fuckit and let the fingers do the talking as I unhooked the parts of the brain that care what anyone else things and released the pressure of thought-emotion, which as usual unleashed the rhyme dog and in this case, got somewhat cynical since irritants were being processed through the cranial matter (and in the end, laughter always ensues, if the process works right... but first all the other emotions are called to the fore to see just how they're doing {how ya doin?} and digest any negativity and spit it out into words so it can leave me along and my rhymes are my shield and surely goodness and mercy shall follow me around like a lost puppy cuz I'm just that kind of generous soul who feeds and cares for lost puppies that are full of goodness and mercy and)...

yeah, well, see for yourself what comes from disturbing the fortress of solitude that contains the peaceful bliss of candoor... it will be edited to eliminate extra lines and formatted slightly differently for presentation purposes and the rhymes will most likely be sorted into other places where they might add to the ambiance of the other places by belonging there as they flow from the source that created those other places in the first place if you follow th drift of the rhyme placement thoughts...

you know, other places...

anyway, back to sort of introducing the previous entry, it may seem scary or depressing or otherwise uncomfortable to some, but then, it's a a psych ward, duh... I mean, these are some of the thoughts that float around in the atmosphere of the psychiatric hospital in which I work... like characters in a movie, perhaps, or real people projected on to your computer screen by my words...

and then, of course, there's my own childinside hero who just has to play with the idea that everything will be alright no matter what cuz the universe and human nature is inhernently or innately good, or a positive force, or something like that...

in case the previous entry was not pleasant for you and especially in case the previous entry caused concern for my socio-emotional psych-status, please rest assured that the state of my mind is unincorporated and still very much free virgin territory... fear not, fret not, for the darkest thoughts and most horrific emotions are processed and released through the words and I am left with purely refined and unadulterated peace and happiness, often with giggles fizzing on in the refreshing beverages...

some call the humor sardonic, some sarcastic, some cynical, some stupid, some something else again and some don't call at all... labels are for those who do not understand...

I found glee (amidst the fatigue of not having slept for a couple of days) at the end of my private audience with the semi-imaginary characters who darkened our journey in the night that produced the previous entry... it started shortly after I arrived at work and was continued throughout the night on the computer I wheeled down the far end of the hall (where nobody goes unless they have to and supervisors fear to tred, or at least almost never do)... too close to the kids world for the weak and careless, I suppose... and for me it appears to be just the right place for santuary at work where words can flow more unimpeeded than they have before at the workplace...

yay for that (from my perspective)...

oddly (though perhaps not for me and here), this entry appears to be a sort of introduction to the previous entry... I suppose I felt that the previous entry needed some sort of introduction or explanatory note since it is a departure of sorts... the first part, the prose babble is the usual rambling, though perhaps more about work than most, though in recent weeks my worklife has entered this diary more and more often (which is a clear sign of and response to my working too much and not having time for the life that is more important than work and that would probably be a good sign if I was not so lazy and lingering lately), but the rest of the entry (that would be previous entry in case you forgot what we were rambling on about... I mention it because I almost did, but then, I did discuss copying DVDs with Precious during the previous parentheses) was...

reflections off me, off me, from me, to me, and maybe nothing to do with me at all... ultimately, it may have been too much for one sitting, but it is a typical example of a slow, distracted night in my written world... influences pass through my environment and become part of the flow of words... and I, in some tiny thread or in whole hog, express myself, parts of the myriad of facets I find when I look in the ethereal mirror...

it is my life in black and white, after all...

the previous entry was much more suited for candora (and other more rhyming places) and may well end up there (at least some of it) when I have time... I am running late for work again, so not tonight... and I was falling asleep this morning when I got home from work, which is why it all just got uploaded in a single dump as it was written...

in fact, this entry was halted in midstream (and actually started this morning just after I uploaded the previous entry and then paused when I fell asleep and started up again and paused again this evening) so I could spend some time with Precious (we ordered food and watched That's Entertainment and figured out how to use the DVD copy program I got from someone at work on her computer and talked) and Rasputin (who came home after the movie and told us about his day...

there was more to say and I hope to continue tomorrow...

until then, the previous entry awaits (beyond the daily life work prose, there is a journey of sorts) and...

more










and look what came in the mail as SPAM:

Life is a great surprise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one. - Vladimir Nabokov
The world is so full of a number of things, I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings. - R.L. Stevenson
Have no regrets . . . because it Isn't raining rain, you know, It's raining violets! - 1921 Pop Song
The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul. - Alexandra Stoddard
Good language is the proper raiment of good thought. - FGC
From wonder into wonder, existence opens. - Lao Tzu






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