LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-08-16 - 5:48 a.m.

MaD




it is my day off (actually, I just got home from work so this would be my Friday night in time normal-speak, it's just ten to twelve hours earlier, and glancing at the date above would be confusing, as usual, so only do that if you want to enjoy the sweet confusion of timelessness) and I am wired and I barely slept two hours yesterday so who knows what might happen... I need you more than you need you... if only you were here... if only... the one was here...

all I ever needed was the one
like freedom's fields where wild horses run
when stars collide like you and I
no shadows block the sun


moments after writing the above (actually, Elton John wrote the rhyme, but then, Bernie Taupin actually wrote the words... credit is such a distracting thing, ya know?... but thanks much boys for words that have carved their way into my permanent history), I was distracted by sugar rushing through my brain and body (cuz I stopped by Kispy Kreme for donuts on my way home from work because I had to stop off at my doctor's office to give blood for my annual physical which is next week and the Krispy Kreme is right next door {how convenient, aya?} and I consumed a couple after eating my morning pizza, which, as you know, is dinner for me because I work nights, though that might be changing as work called and left a message while I was asleep telling me that they want to make an offer on a day shift position they asked me to interview for this week)...

apparently I am still slightly distracted...

that could be because I ate two more Krispy Kremes after a fish-cheese sandwich (it's a seafood spread stuff) and Meg and Dia are filling my head through the headphones that are on my ears... yes, I said Meg and Dia again... not that I'm obsessed or anything... it's just the fiftieth time I am listening to the CD today, but then, I only stopped everything I was doing (including writing) two or three or four or five times... I want to make wild passionate love to them until breathing becomes so labored all we can do is lay with each other as close as possible until oxygen returns to our brains, but obsessed?... no, not me...

it must be love, though, cuz I just bought a Meg and Dia T-Shirt...

wait, before you run away thinking this is going to be just another Meg and Dia fan club entry, I'll get seriously serious (as opposed to questionably serious and heavily irreverent)... but first, I will have to mention Meg and Dia a few more times... bear with me though, for this entry contains secrets never told before anywhere else (unless I forgot I don't them before somewhere else), except maybe somewhere in the depths of writings that never made it on to the web... or candora, maybe...

ok, seriously serious...

thank you to those of you who know who I was referring to in the previous entry... yes, Meg and Dia represented and reawakened it, but the specific she (and her for that matter) referred to there and in so many previous entries here and in my imaginary love songs in candora and so many other writings is first and best represented by someone named amy who was real flesh in my life and in my arms, and even she is now just a representation of the she, her, and the one I write of (and seek)...

she is my writer's muse... she is my ideal... she is, even after I might find her in the flesh, the hope we strive for, the beauty we aspire to, the faith we keep closest to our hearts, the strength we muster when needed most, the creativity we share in every moment we love...

now you know...

not to say that Meg and Dia couldn't be her, for relatively anyone can (potential is infinite and anything is possible, remember?), but I humbly apologize if you ran out to call them and tell them, especially if they misunderstood and rushed out to get plane tickets to Orlando... they are, of course, still welcome to crash here for a few days (or longer if they want to clean up and share my room cuz I wouldn't want to impose on my roommates for more than a few days), but I have not gone completely off the deep end for them or any real flesh and blood person in particular just yet...

oh you guys, you take me so seriously sometimes...

and I love you for it...



seriously, no reason to fret over my sanity or stability... while true, if I could afford it easily, I would most likely fly or drive around the country following Meg and Dia for a few shows, maybe a few weeks (eternity is such a long time to plan for, after all), I am still well within the walls of my safe room (yes, feel free to coin that phrase as the latest way of saying I'm OK if you like... still within the walls of my safe room 2006, Candor Communications) and as you can see, ready and able to focus and babble on about anything and everything and I am not totally fixated on Meg and Dia and only Meg and Dia so help me Mergatroid...

those of you wondering who Mergatroid is can ask Bugs next time you see him or do some research on the Warner Brothers website (if they have a reference there... if not, then you'll have to go to the studios and research their archives... or I could tell you, some other time however, because that's besides the point and my digression has gone on long enough for the moment)...

oh if only... the fact is, in this life, what I did for love is almost as unbelievable as what I did for the love of music (not even scratching the surface, barely a tickle)... and what still could be, oh, if we only knew... the reawakening Evanescence almost sparked (and every other awakening of the last five years, or is it ten?... sheesh, am I that old into this dead zone?... cry me a river and drown me in it) was subdued by the work schedule... this working a full time forty plus hours a week gig is a killer for the creative life...

but there is hope (there is always hope)...

Spill Canvas was the kick start this summer and a lot of other new bands (many playing on the 2006 Warped Tour, but others, like AFI, as well) helped my musical engine along and now, Meg and Dia supercharged the creepy crawler (yes, well, that's what the engine is called after being mostly dead for a few years, ok?... it's a multi-phasic ... engine that runs in non-linear time if you must know more detail, but for now let's just address it as the creepy crawler so we maintain the harmless humor of the whole conceptualization of my frailty as a human and if you're not laughing you obviously did not have my life experiences, so no worries and moving right along) that keeps me going in this life (lubadubalubadub)...

and the roommates arrive... and as usual, I talk, listen, and whatever I am doing pauses, in this case, this entry... they are family, after all, as close to family as I've got... Precious is going to help her twice-ex-boyfriend (they are in the off-again stage at the moment) do some community service project that all the kids in her special IB program have to do (and they get great benefits for being in the program, like free college, for one, so it's all worth the extra time and work in the end)... after that, her best friend is taking her shopping... and Rasputin woke and came out and parked on the couch and farted, as usual... I don't think he ever gets enough rest... he works even more than I do... I don't think he ever runs out of gas either, though he falls over (more like plopping down) and sleeps in odd places from time to time...

if I lived alone I'd write a lot more, probably have a lot more money, exercise more, and might even have more social life... but then, they are family and I love them, bad habits and all... though it's gotten to be confusing who started some of the bad habits since I've succumbed to most of theirs (I seldom fart though)... I'd have more time for other things too, but unless I found much more social life, I'd be lonelier...

so I'll keep them, I guess...

two things that have fallen by the wayside this summer are blogMad and how ironic that the MaDness of blogMad has been usurped by the madness of work and life and now, MaD (Meg and Dia, of course... what?... you didn't realize?... oh you silly) and fantasy baseball... Rasputin tells me I am still in contention in many of the leagues and that I am still in first in a few (amazing since I've not checked up on any of the teams since he got back from the Ukraine and that was the only time I checked in since the end of June)... music has replaced just about every online activity except blogging (and you know this diary was gone for six weeks... heck, this is still the tail end of the catch up entries, after all)...

I decided I would use my ears while I still had them...

and see?... I actually got distracted from Meg and Dia for several paragraphs... so I guess I wont stalk them just yet, since there must be other more obsessed fans ahead of me in line for their attention... but I did post on their bulletin board on their site (posting on boards has always been a rare thing for me since I got burned out on public forums a while back when newsgroups ran wild and free on the Usenet and anarchy reigned on the internet and nobody was actually responsible for anything...










I might be back to this one...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
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older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
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soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
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DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


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tell others
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get your own!

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browsing
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favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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