LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
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IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
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THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-09-15 - 12:48 a.m.

Three from RealTime


before we get to where we were (to respond to the question at the conclusion of the previous entry), there's this entry (and yes, these three entries were written today, which would be the same day as most of this rambling that's become seven entries so far, though the previous entry wasn't actually an entry in the write-it-yourself sense, but then again, it did take time to code the table and rank the teams in my column, so, yeah, seven entries so far)... anyway...

this entry is composed of three RealTime entries uploaded today, though it will be the day after tomorrow in this diary if you follow date stamping like the calendar is some sort of religion (ah, is candoor at diaryland slapping candoor at blogspot conforming?... wow, a cat fight within my own mind, now all I have to do is picture them as bikini clad fit girls and I've got a good fantasy going... maybe I should leave this parentheses before I digress too far and this entry takes on a whole new journey)...

yeah, so anyway, this entry is composed of three entries from RealTime (you can find exact times and dates there if you're curious) and I am doing this because these three entries are actually one thought stream over the course of a few hours from waking and stepping out of bed to pondering my navel and life to getting to the gym for the third time in 28 hours to showering and refreshing life physically (and at this very moment in RealTime in walk my roommates with foods I mention below)...

now that you know whatever it is you know, enjoy J


I'm lost

it's ok, I like being lost sometimes cuz it's fun to wander around aimlessly and it's fun to wander around trying to find myself or where I am or some semblence of where I left off or where I've been or why I am lost and with all thise going on the peanut gallery (in my mind) dances and sings the yay he's lost again" song (written, forgotten, ad infinitum, so yet to be written, if ya falla) while giggling and violating all sorts of rules of decourum...

I thought there was another entry here in which I mention a wonderful phone call, but now I don't remember , but then, a series of entries are in the pip for btc, but I didn't realize I haven't been here since Thursday... time, wherever it went, it went, and so...

Friday was a Friday, learned more at work, and was pondering a fast until Rasputin suggested pizza and just like last Friday, I stuffed my face with pizza... part of that may have been frustration with finding the gym too crowded to be useful again... and also I didn't eat since the day before sometime... and I started feeling a bug trying to move into my throat and head (thanks to one of the people in the office who is sick) and felt more tired than usual by the evening...

so Saturday I made it to the gym twice - just after noon and just before midnight (and yay Saturday, syncronicity is fun) burning 500+ calories in each 30 minutes on the lifecycle (number will be entered in the log soon)... in between, however, I indulged in White Castle, which is as close to animal meat as I've had since startting this new health-life mindset two weeks ago... and fries... the taste buds were in taste bud heaven (or perhaps that'sd hell, my taste buds might be considered devils by that heaven-hell scale and mythology...

it's all relative to me and we shall see whether today starts a third week of health-life focus or one more day of backslide into sheer hedonism)... the meat and fat aids the sense of fog in the brain, by the way, in case you didn't know... and then Saturday is college football day around here from wake up to nod-off in front of the TV and computer listening to the game... also some fantasy sports happened too...

and rambling happened in between distractions (which are mostly fun as I wander aimlessly through a weekend forgetting about any responsibilities the weekdays might have to offer)... links will appear here when the pages referred to in this entry are uploaded...

and I was up until near dawn so I am just waking now (it is Sunday, right?) and so I'll be back after I wake up a bit more... hope your weekend was as much fun as mine (and infinitely more full of the treasures of intimate partnership and romance and partnered passion than mine cuz that is so much of what this life's potential is about)...

aloha J


confirmation
ah so, with confirmation from my favorite computer genius and professional science buff, I am happy to announce that it is still Sunday and returning from my third relatively successful trip to the gym in two days (28 hours, to be a bit more precise), I am also happy to announce that I am still alive and still breathing (which is very beneficial to the still alive part)...
and also, now that thoughts are flooding my brain, it is obvious that I am much much (a lot of much muching this weekend it seems... you'll have to read the rambles to get more of the gist of this parenthetic aside) better off keeping in touch (kit, alas, who remembers?... perhaps a silent member of the audience... but at least it can still be revisited, mostly, as opposed to most of the other linkages no longer working, but again, aside reference to rambles)...

when I disappear from the keeping in touch thing (which is primarily this blog for now), it is even worse than when I stop writing completely (maybe) because I can get into all sorts of illogical and unhealthy and self-destructive and wasteful mischief

the song playing as I stepped off the lifecycle today was Jewel's Foolish Games...

more can be said (and probably will), but the universe has obviously been listening to my casual asides (and nudges toward the west) referencing the broken parts of my heart that remain in waiting (as you, strange being who is also hopefully an eventual dear friend from SD, know too well) and so Meg and Dia kick off as I get home to a rare moment of silent (they must have gone out to eat again... hopefully they won't bring home fast food and ice cream and chocolate fudge eat a few feet in front of me this time... or better yet, hopefully I have given into my fast-food junkie enough for this week and will reach for salad and veggies when I get out of the shower which should happen as soon as this entry is uploaded)...

so a third to the gym in 28 hours and for the third time I top 500 calories in 30 minutes and this last time, in spite of a glitch in the equipment, I believe I passed the first two times and came closer to the best numbers yet since returning to the gym just over two weeks ago... far from great (as the relatively successful reference in the first paragraph, but better than backsliding...

and now, shower and continue with the rambles in progress that will hopefully be uploaded as a series of entries btc later tonight... maybe I can get in and out of the shower before they get home so I can get the music in the air again before the TV goes back on...

shalom J


the best thing about being lost

is being found... not to say that the being lost part isn't oodles of fun, especially when shares with someone who loves being lost and unconditionally loves and trusts cuz that is then real magic happens, in case you didn't know), but returning with the magic to the found place, to that moment of illusion when everything seems as real as it gets for you (or me, in this case), that is the best thing about life...

so on goes Meg and Dia singing I can do anything I want, like you and life is musical, profound, fun, creative, true, and beautiful again (and in an ethereal way, shared, which combines to be the best illusion we can create, dontcha think?)...

and this is my heart, bleeding before you...

but one person's foolish games is another person's euphoria and we each find euphoria where I make it so I'm making some right now...

wish you were here...

and just after I wrote and uploaded this entry in walk Rasputin and Precious with leftovers from the good Chinese restaurant (as opposed to the local buffet) and, of course, Pepsi, ice cream, and fudge sauce... and Precious wants to watch Spiderman I and II because a friend (who would possibly be boyfriend is she wasn't still hung up on the guy who dumped her twice but remains a good friend) is shocked that she hasn't seen it so we may be watching movies I've seen a couple of times tonight... I might put on the headphones if I'm not into it... but it's all good, in fact, it's all great because I was prepared and even if I wasn't, I am in that place inside where everything is beautiful in it's own way and I'm gonna enjoy it in my own way...

who knows, a few more weeks of this sort of waking up (and turning up the gym work) and I might even find I am no longer just sleepwriting and maybe will find myself stepping back out into the world not just to wander aimlessly through it, but to open myself to more opportunity for intimacy again (cuz I'll be ready to share an energy level that isn't repulsive to me, if that makes any sense to you)...

stay awake, stay awake, survive...

I may simply be indulging my perennial teenager or I might just be loving the music and words because they are where I am or want to be or maybe it's just a momentary passing fancy, but you really ought to listen to Something Real (that's the name of Meg and Dia's CD and decide for yourself)... track seven is my favorite, with track four and five coming in sorta tied for second, and track one third (a great musical kick off to the CD), and tracks two, six, eight (her voice is fun on that eight), nine, and eleven are right behind and the others speak to me with lines that cut deeply here and there so even being last is great for me on this CD...

anyway, it's time to eat something and then get back to rambling btc... I'll be back to link when I upload there, still hoping that is tonight, but then, it is when it is and not before... make the most of the rest of your weekend and if the bed bugs bite, bite back... remember you choose how you feel and what you are going to do about it... learn to live with it and dare to believe it can happen again and again, it is your illusion after all...

namaste J



CONTINUE






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
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see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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who me?

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THOUGHTS ON GOD

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