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�2006 Candor Communications


2005-12-29 - 10:23 a.m.

202 Things with Nicim (Part 3)



what are you doing here?... this is Part Three of 202 Things with Nicim... unless you've read Parts One and Two, you're way ahead of yourself... so what you need to do before you get lost in the babble is go back to the beginning and start at number one... after all, that's how these lists are done, you know, 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on... whoever heard of started at #63?...

go ahead, start at the beginning, this will be here if you're still awake and interested after reading the first 62...


and if you have made it through the first two parts of this revealing madness, then you are ready or not up to:


202 Things With Nicim (Part Three)


63. If theres a fireplace, I want a fire.
I love a fire, outdoors or indoors... fire is alive...
64. If theres a candle, I want them lit.
I used to burn candles much more than I do now, though I still do sometimes... writing by candlelight was a ritual after a hot steamy shower...
65. I own Waterford crystal glasses, and use them even when company isnt coming over.
I've broken Waterford crystal glasses... I use paper and plastic cups and mostly drink water out of 20 oz bottles that I refill frequently...
66. Ive been to Ireland, Scotland, England, France, Belgium, Amsterdam and India.
I have never been to Spain, but I kinda like the music... I've been in the Atlantic and the Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico, but never across... I did live in Canada a while, until they threw me out... and I would visit Mexico when I lived in San Antonio when I wanted to fill my duffle bag with weed... as much as I love to travel, I seem to have saved travel overseas for when I found the right traveling companion and that companion still hasn't come along... now, unfortunately, that companion will have to pay for two if I'm to go... maybe what goes around will finally actually come around, after all, was more than willing to pay for two or more (and did many times) back before I became an existential monk... or hermit, I'm studying Hermitology, not Monkology...
67. I want to go to Italy, Greece, the south of France, and see the Egyptian pyramids.
the doctor says that this body's genes most likely come from Italy, Greece, the south of France, or even northern Africa... there's a certain tag in the blood that marks a body who's biologically from the Mediterranean (spelled wrong) area... as the years pass, the traveling and exploring becomes less important for me than the companion... it now appears to me that without someone to share the physical experience, the wanderlust is mostly satisfied wandering the net...
68. When I travel, I want to experience the history and culture first hand.
any other way is too didactic for me...
69. I could spend a week in the Louvre every year.
based on the photographs, so could I...
70. Years ago, even when I couldnt really afford it, I bought season tickets to the theater because it made sure I would go. Now I have tickets at The Kennedy.
I used to do that all the time... I stopped in recent years... lost the music, lost the theatre, lost a lot... but life's not over yet and I hope to be back into the life thing soon... I am told that I have tickets for Wicked in February...
71. The first play I ever saw was Cinderella at The Muny, the outdoor theater in St. Louis. They brought a real carriage and four horses onto the stage.
the first play I ever saw was it's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman on Broadway... it did not run long, but I loved it... I've seen several dozen shows on Broadway and I am quite spoiled, really, but I still love theatre on any level... one of these days I'm going to get involved in a company again, maybe...
72. The first grown-up play I saw was Marat/Sade.
my best memories of plays were always musicals... My Fair Lady, Pippin, Jesus Christ Superstar, Fiddler on the Roof, Two Gentlemen of Verona, La Cage Aux Folles, A Chorus Line... I could have listed all night...
73. Chanel No. 5, Aliage, and Georgio are my preferred scents, but Mr. Lucky is allergic to scent so I put them away.
I do not recognize scents by name, so i am not sure what I like exactly...
74. Give me tiger lilies, daisies, mums or daffodils over roses.
I like a field of wildflowers... I used to have one in my backyard in the nineties...
75. Weeping willow trees make me nostalgic there was a huge one in the back yard of the house I grew up in.
I planted a Japanese Plum Tree (a tiny seedling thing) in my backyard and after three years it was six feet tall... I wonder if it's still there... it was the only tree I ever cared much about personally... growing up in a concrete jungle, the trees were not personal friends, but as a little kid I often told them I was sorry they were stuck in four by four concrete holes... I loved it when they grew big enough to crack the concrete...
76. I lived eighteen years in the same house as a child, then moved 22 times in the next twenty-five.
wow... how many times did I move?... hospital to Paterson or Newark NJ (too young to remember), to East NY (Brooklyn), to Canarsie 102nd St 1 (Brooklyn), to Canarsie 102nd St 2 (Brooklyn), to E. 95th St (Brooklyn, a friend's house I count cuz I was there much more than I was home), to Ft. Dix, NJ to Ft. Sam - San Antonio (lived two places there), TX, to Ft. Ord - Monterey CA (lived three places there), to somewhere between San Francisco and Monterey (kind spacey memory there), to Flatbush (Caton, Ave - Brooklyn), to E 4th St (Manhattan), to a few years of roaming and visiting friends, to Flatlands (Brooklyn), to Lake Buena Vista FL, to Loughman FL, to Toronto Canada, to Etobicoke (Toronto) Canada, to Etobicoke/Mississauga (Toronto) Canada, to Kissimmee FL, to Ft. Lauderdale FL, to Buffalo NY, to Longwood FL, to Ocoee FL, to South Orlando FL, to Altamonte Springs FL, to Casselberry FL, to Winter Park FL, to East Orlando (Union Park) FL...

some of those places listed I moved while I was there... that's all I remember at the moment... this doesn't include traveling and staying in other people's places or hostels or camping... and I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
77. Finally having the courage to walk away from a relationship that had been over a long time is what made me realize I was ready to fall in love again.
yay... I did that a while back... I fell in love... and again... and again... it did not turn out well... next time's the charm?...
78. When I was 16 a dog bit me in the face. I still have scars on my upper and lower lip. I sometimes wonder if people think it was a harelip.
ouch... when I was thirteen I was punched in the face by a big ring that was on the finger of a big fist... I needed a lot of stitches in my lip and still have the bump, though it gets a little softer every year... mine was the lower lip and sometimes it's not easy to notice unless you know what you're looking for...
79. I dont like hot, spicy food.
I love hot, spicy food... I love most flavors and spices and condiments and sauces, though I do not like bitters very much...
80. Cats are better than dogs, but both of them can sleep with me at night.
I dunno, I love animals and lived with both, but dogs are so much more adaptable to a traveling life... I do not see a cat following at my heel through crowds without a leash... my Happy Dog went with me everywhere... unfortunately,. that included Toronto...
81. Id rather sleep with the windows open than the air conditioner.
I used to, but the humidity and the flying bugs have trained me to keep the windows closed and the air conditioner on in the last couple of places I lived... at the moment we have a rather large wasp nest hanging right over our living room windows and the screens are too cheap to trust... of course that might just be me justifying one of the prerequisites for my doctorate in Hermitology too...
82. My mother believed her children should try everything at least once. Thus, I had tap and ballet lessons as a child. And trampoline, bowling, archery, piano, flute, guitar, swimming, tennis, roller skating, and a year at a modeling school that taught me how to get out of a car without showing my undies.
dang those modeling school lessons...

ah, my parental units took no interest in anything, including me... I'd imagine they could have easily qualified for a Ph.D. in Hermitology... if home computers and the internet were available back then, they'd have found it way too complicated and interactive... they worked, watched TV, ate bland food at home, and slept... I hope they were happy, but I had to get out of there because I was not a potted plant...
83. I sat first chair in the high school band playing my flute.
too many wonderful (and off-color) thoughts come to mind for me to respond to this one, not the least of which being that when I was in high school I fantasized about being first chair, second chair, or any chair that certain flutists and other musicians and people sat in... I mean the chair, be the chair... I loved music...
84. Ive been without a piano for so long my hands have lost their coordination for difficult pieces, but I can still read music and play a little.
me too, though my left hand never really did transition completely from an accordion to a piano/synthesizer... yes, because it was the only instrument in the house other than violins, I played the accordion daily, sometimes for hours, from age six through sixteen, at which time my lap became otherwise occupied, sometimes for hours...
85. My guitar is in a corner and most of its strings are broken but I keep thinking someday I will have time to pick it up again.
I still have not actually learned how to play a guitar... talk about a rebel's rebel... I look like I know how to play when I pick one up though... I briefly played the violin from age four through eight, but traded it for the accordion...
86. Ive always wished I had the partner support to work full-time as a volunteer for worthy causes. I am really good on committees.
me too... well, wish to volunteer, that is... I can do committees, but I'm not in love with the idea of meetings... I prefer doing to organizing... I make a great gopher or lackey... and to have the time to return to music, that would be the sweetest gift of all, oy (if I were a rich man... yiadle deedle diadle dum)...
87. When my mother died I didnt cry.
I will probably cry, in fact tears come to my eyes at the thought, simply because she was never there and I wish somebody was, just once...
88. When my father died, I couldnt stop crying.
same here... though biological parents are unknowns, adoptive parents may still be alive somewhere... strangers who should have known better, but then, maybe some skills can not be learned...
89. Someday Im going to write a novel.
I doubt I ever will, simply because my literary ADD is so advanced I think Douglas Adams is way too slow moving sometimes, but I love his mind and writing still...
90. I still want to go to college.
I still want to finish graduate school, maybe... I think I am at a point where the sharing is more important than the activity and any new long term project I might get into will be decided by two, my partner and me... until then, I roll with the flow and do not commit to any long tern projects...
91. I havent figured out if its better to know a little about a lot of things, or a lot about a few things.
I like knowing a lot about a lot of things, so I choose the first one... though if you really want to make a difference in this world, I think it's easier to do knowing a lot about a few things... the latter requires less personality, charisma, and juggling proficiency...
92. I started biting my fingernails when I was ten, and saw my cousin do it. I stopped several years later when, on the first day of school, I noticed that a girl I hated had stopped biting hers and she had beautiful hands.
peer pressure is sometimes a good thing... I never bit nails... I had a constant pacifier until I was three years old... I chewed gum a lot when I was little and sucked on charms pops or blow pops or tootsie roll pops in my tween years, smoked a couple of years in my teens... then I learned that kissing was the most fun i could have with my mouth so everything else took a back seat... until the last few years when I have been solitary (and unfortunately, loving food too much)... maybe I oughta go back to gum or blow pops... guess they don't call them life savers for nothing...
93. I smoked cigarettes from the time I was 15 until I was 34. Michelle asked me to stop for her birthday gift and I went cold turkey.
I smoked almost two packs a day for a year or two, when I was around fifteen or sixteen... it didn't last because I was a runner and it effected my running too much... and I did not like the taste of kissing a smoker...
94. I cant stand the smell of cigarette smoke.
same here... more with each passing year... I like some incense though, and the smoke of a cooking or campfire... and candles... tobacco, however, has deeper distastes for me than the sensory yuck... I spent a lot of my childhood in the space of a very heavy cigar smoker and psychologically ODed on tobacco at a very early age... the teen years were rebel times when drinking seemed to require a cigarette...
95. I eat to live, not live to eat. But I absolutely love the taste and texture of food.
I live to eat a lot more than I used to, mostly because I have been out of a relationship for a while and my mouth requires regular daily stimulation... like I said, I must consider returning to gum or something else to keep my mouth occupied... something to suck on, hmmm, suddenly I miss my pacifier...

if I live to be physically old, I think I might enjoy regressing back to infantile ways... no wonder nobody wants to grow old along with me, huh? (there's a chuckle)...
96. I am never warm enough in the winter, usually because Ive never been able to afford to keep the thermostat at a comfortable setting.
I am seldom cold, but when I get cold, I get very cold... steamy hot showers or food, especially steamy hot spaghetti are my second favorite cures for coldness... another body heating up with mine is first, but that's probably pretty obvious by now...
97. Given a chance, Id climb on a motorcycle and go riding.
I owned a motorcycle and used it for all my transportation for a few years... icy NYC streets were fun, except when I had to take the bike down because too often cars do not respect a motorcycle's right of way... I loved to ride on the open road in the warmer weather...
98. Id rather go sailing than do almost anything.
I've never been sailing, I think...
99. Ive gotten more awards and compliments for my swing dancing than anything Ive ever tried.
I've never been swing dancing...
100. A kiss is one of lifes greatest pleasures.
ah, you must remember this...

at times I think this entire 202 Things has been leading up to this (my mind does have more than one track, really)... I agree more than lips can say with words... when we truly let go and give ourselves to a kiss, it is actualized unconditional trust... will we ever breath again?... who cares, if the kiss is right... kiss 'til your lips are numb, kiss 'til your facial muscles ache, kiss 'til you're so breathless your head is spinning and your body collapses... then catch your breath and kiss some more...
101. I know its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
I know this very well, sometimes I think I know this too well...

message to the universe: enough lessons, dear universe, I have no doubt about this... it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all... and we can get back to the loved part at any time now...

thanks J

wow, that required three notepad files (and many sittings) and that's just for the first run through... as always, I read these things (cuz half the fun of writing them is thinking about each item and learning more about myself) and expound a bit more (and yes, I do mean just a bit more)... and I've not quite finished doing that (so come back for more if you want to find the deepest darkest secrets that might be hiding just beneath the surface... or maybe something amusing)...

I'll be back...






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