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2005-12-28 - 9:47 a.m.

202 Things with Nicim (Part 2)


what are you doing here?... this is part two, part one is here... of course, if you've already made it through part one and are still awake and actually want more, welcome to the asylum, please be sure to keep your gown closed in the back...

ah, but before we get all carried away by the men in the white coats, I give you:


202 Things With Nicim (Part Two)



31. Ive always needed living space and even when I was dirt poor never lived in a one-bedroom apartment.
as a child I had a room of my own in a two bedroom apartment in a two family house most of the time... my first apartment after the Army was a one bedroom six floor walk-up on East 4th between A and B, rent controlled at $50 a month (which was phenomenal even way back then)... my first long term place was a six room apartment in a two family house I shared for eight years with my best friend of the time... I moved from there to a 1700 sq ft three bedroom house I had built in Florida and lived there by myself most of five years except when I had guests, often Disney kids just moving down and staying until they could set themselves up in a place of their own (one guest stayed two years and she's another I'd love to find today)... the backyard went on for miles into the sunset as it was protected wetlands... and then came Toronto and a partner and four kids that ground into poverty and me ending up out on the street and I learned to live in a single room as a step back from living on the streets (it was luxury quarters after winter set in)... and for the last five years I've shared a roommate living space with one or two others... we have a three bedroom now, maybe 1100 square feet and I feel the space sometimes cramped, but I have little in the way of material possessions with me so it's fairly barren... my fifty by twenty foot storage facility is packed to the rafters and could not completely be unpacked in the 1700 square foot house, so I've always longed for more space, mostly for my libraries and toys and creative pursuits... and yet, I am comfortable in a shoebox too...
32. Buying a home on my own convinced me I was a grown-up.
I suppose I can say the same thing, sort of... buying a home on my own convinced me I was a grown-up, and leaving it behind and ultimately losing it convinced me I was an irresponsible child addicted to romantic fantasies and way too vulnerable for my own or anybody else's good... I think I've learned from my experiences...
33. Ive always been extremely good at accounting and lousy at math.
I can claim the opposite, though I have been known to budget and save what seems like an amazing amount of money when compared to my salary at any given time... I love numbers and number games and statistical accumulation games... I do not like working at keeping books of money-numbers much though...
34. I could read before I was in kindergarten, but nobody taught me.
same here, again... one of the primary attractions for me when I first found your diary was the similarities I read in your writings about yourself... I think you'd have been an ideal playmate when I had nothing but time and money to burn because I sense you are one of a rare breed who know how to enjoy luxury without wasting it or taking it for granted...

books are treasures... one of the saddest days in this life was the day I returned from the Army to find that my thousands of hardbound books and scholastic books and comic books (and many thousands of baseball cards) we gone, whereabouts unknown... it took years for me to realize the boxes also included almost every bit of childhood writing and artifact of memory and the cumulated apathy and neglect of my adopted parents came to a head and I lost any interest in maintaining contact at that point...

my first book was Three Billy Goat's Gruff (ownership), given to me as a present by my first grade teacher, Ms. Burns, for 'reading excellence' because I was already reading when I met her... it was not only my nursery school lover I was exploring in the library corner in those three years I spent, ten or more hours a day, in nursery school (I suppose it would be called day-care today, at Montessori school level)...
35. The first book I remember reading on my own was a paperback Readers Digest.
the first books I read on my own were Dr. Seuss books and Almanacs because I had to know stuff and I loved rhymes... I often stopped reading Reader's Digest stories when I liked the stories because I didn't want to know how the story ended before I found the longer uncondensed version... the longer the story, when it held my interest with clever ideas and meaningful thoughts and interesting characters, the better...
36. I read most of Ian Flemings James Bond books in their original release.
I read those too, before I saw the films in most cases... I also remember loving Duane Decker's sports stories... and Who Walks The Attic by ? (memory fails me) and Follow My Leader by ?... Waiting For Godot was one of the earlier books I read and it's stuck around as a favorite... Fahrenheit 451 (Bradbury), Brave New World (Huxley), Tale of Two Cities (Dickens), The Number of the Beast, Time Enough for Love (both Heinlein), Illusions (Bach) all come to mind as early favorites that have stuck around at or near the top of my list...
37. I adore Isaac Asimov and Robert Heinlein, Anne McCaffrey and Laura Joh-Rowland, Edgar Rice Burroughs and Peter David.
Heinlein ahead of Asimov, for me, but both icons (along with Bradbury, Adams, oh, I think most of my favorites are listed in this profile... I've read some Burroughs, but recall very little details and yet I like the fact you mentioned him because the memories of his style of writing are very attractive even in their vaguarity... the other three you mention, while I've heard of them, are mostly unknown to me... more to explore...
38. I want to live long enough to witness the first contact with alien life-forms. What a hoot it will be to prove we should have kept up the space program.
yes yes, definitely yes... I think that an example of the egocentric arrogance of humanity is how we tout ourselves as an intelligent species... while there are probably some species less developed than humans in this universe, I sure hope humans are not the pinnacle of species development and imagine that there would be, if they were aware of us, species that laugh at or pity humanity as it is today... heck, I do and I am one (at least that's what I've been told)...

I so wish to be there for first contact (and not just to share the laugh)...
39. I adore St. Louis style pizza which uses a special cheese called Provel, a unique blend of Cheddar, Swiss and Provolone cheeses. You cant get it anywhere else in the world.
show me!... ah, the subtleties of my brain amuse me... I just started drooling... I know someone who moved to St. Louis, Rasputin keeps in touch with him, or used to... pizza is one of those foods with so much variety composed primarily of foods I love dearly (hot baked bread and cheese and sauce) that I could eat it every day longer than any other single food... and have... and while I am drooling, I so miss New York style pizza, which is another thing I've not found anywhere else in the world... and loganberries, I miss loganberries too (from my time in Western NY)... I miss traveling on the spur of the moment now... I think I need to save up again... a lot...
40. Rigazzis is the best Italian restaurant on The Hill, no matter what anyone else says.
I've never lived in DC and never wanted to, but visited a half dozen or so times along the way... if I ever get back there I will remember Rigazzi's because no place is too far to travel for good Italian food (cheesy grin, moaning pun, and now I mock bow and run away)...
41. The 1975 St. Louis Cardinal football team was a thing of beauty. Jim Hart passed 2500 yards, Mel Gray and Terry Metcalf ran for almost 1000 yards and 11 touchdowns each, and 8 members made the Pro-Bowl. Washington Redskins suck.
lol... my longest lasting sports team favorite is The Yankees, having grown up in NYC and personally idolizing Mickey Mantle... though the Mets swept me off my feet because they were the first live ballgame I ever saw and Lou Johnson (who was a Dodger) hit the first home run I ever saw live... I think it might have broken a car windshield... I was at thirty games during the Amazing Mets '69 miracle year, including the clincher... I still remember plays vividly and stats that people didn't even know back them... the NY Giants and Dallas Cowboys were my earliest favorite football teams, though Joe Namath gave a soft spot for the Jets in my heart too... mostly now I root for individual players and not necessarily teams... free agency and greed took most of the luster off the team-loyalty for me... I root for teams with a player or players I respect and admire on them... Roger Clemens is one... Tom Brady is another... I am pretty sure that I'm going to be a fan of whichever team gets Reggie Bush because I sense he has much more than brilliant skills going for him, I sense he's got real intelligence, style, and class...
42. I lost my virginity at 15.
I didn't do it...

not that I wouldn't have, ah, sweet imagination... I promised I'd be good and doggonit, I think I have been good in that respectful and stay serious way, mostly, right?... so I lose my pants at the thought of her 15 year old virgin self losing her pants, am I to be sued?... must I remember what I meant to learn at the Monty Python school of the defense arts?... bananas?... well if she was not so sensually stimulating to my mind (yes, my mind, the one between my ears, above the neck) and even moreso, seductive to my romantic heart, she would not even begin to be considered by the pervert in my head...

come to think of it, she might even find insult in the fact that I did not slip some seductive suggestions of carnal bliss into this list sooner, but then, we are at #42, after all, if you catch the drift of my improbability drive...

ah, if only I could time travel...

I am speaking of you in the third person, aren't I?...

self-preservation?...

ok, moving right along now, I was eighteen at first intercourse, both very drunk relative strangers... very very drunk... my 14-17 year old romances were much more romantic, passionate, orgasmic, and satisfying... and mostly sober...
43. Everyone thought I was going to finish high school, go to college, and marry the boy I went steady with for three years in high school.
I'm not sure what everyone thought about me, but I am sure that most who know me in high school were disappointed that I was not more of what they considered a success as I drifted around in a purple haze and instrument solo for the first eight or night years after graduation... what can I say, I was exploring myself with the aid of chemistry... it was all very spiritual and enlightening, so of course upper middle class suburbia did not understand... I did get back to college ten years after... and finished in less than four years, 157 credits, while working more than full time... and was in a common law relationship at the time too boot...

and I would have married my love in high school and gone straight to the doctoral program and happily ever after if she wasn't the one who said no (the other two said yes before I thought about asking, but I felt it was not fair to settle when I'd always pine and wonder what if, so I decided cutting the ties was best all around, especially since, at the time, since I couldn't have the love of my life, I was bound and determined to be the next Timothy Leary, Jack Keroac, Lenny Bruce, and Abbie Hoffman, combined)...
44. I knew my first husband for six weeks.
I still have not married legally... I moved in with my longest lasting partner two weeks after we met... I don't have much respect for marriage as a legal tradition... I have, on occasion, falling in love and proposed forever based on a photograph, words on paper, and a voice... it ended very badly...

I've been told that I am too romantic for marriage...
45. Marty Robbins was singing A White Sport Coat when my daughter was conceived in my soon-to-be-husband-but-we-didnt-know-it-then mothers bed and I missed my high school graduation because I was on bed rest.
I used to have a tape for each relationship of the songs most important to that relationship... the earliest ones still hold the deepest power... gooey syrupy romantic oldies like Cherish, Johnny Angel, If, Portrait of My Love, Your Song, Sunshine of My Life... lots more... Zeppelins Whole Lotta Love, Yes's Fragile, Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, and a lot of Moody Blues also hold very early intimate memories for me... I miss music...
46. I decided I wanted to go bowling when I was seven months pregnant, pulled a groin muscle and was on crutches for two weeks. When I was 43 I was on crutches again for three months. I used the same crutches.
ouch... I have no comparable story... never used crutches except to see how they worked (since I worked hospitals a lot in this life)... I should find some wood to knock on...
47. The first car I ever owned was a 1962 titty pink Ford Galaxy 500. My boyfriend bought it for me in 1972 because he was tired of picking me up.
first car... 1968 Ford Fairlane, cherry red with a black top... I totaled in one rainy night right near the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in Brooklyn... it was the pothole's fault, really... took out a light pole and ended up balanced on the median guard rail, sitting in the passenger seat... seat belts?... ummm, so I got out of the car and looked around at all the people who stopped to see if I was ok and I waved and they all went along their way cuz there was no blood or gore and so then I ran to the nearest pay phone, about a mile away, and called for help and then climbed up on to the roof of the car and sat in a lotus position and meditated until the help arrived... it was balanced so precariously, blocking the left lane in both directions (the light pole was blocking all three lanes in one direction), I just felt it was the thing to do...

I remember the Galaxy 500... remember the Dodge Desoto?... I moved on the a Buick Wildcat, then a few Chevys, a Chevelle and a Malibu and a Nova, and finally my first brand new showroom car was a Cougar XR7... I traded that in for a Celica GT a couple of years later... I remember those first cars so much more fondly than I do the rest... probably because they were such an integral part of the romantic I used to be...
48. We used to go to the A&W root beer stand when I was a kid, and you had to wait forever for a car-hop to serve us large mugs of root beer and push-ups which were like Italian ice in a wrapper.
I remember push-ups... there were no car-hops that I can recall in NYC... one thing most New Yorkers do not have is patience... we'd drive out to Long Island or New Jersey when we wanted to go to a drive in...
49. As a teenager, I worked as one of those carhops and met my high school sweetheart.
Nicim skating around in short shorts and a halter, yes, I can see it now... omigosh, memory flash, I used to have a pair of purple and black short shorts... they had great shock value... I didn't wear halters or skate though...
50. Ive worked as a ward clerk in a hospital, a secretary, a personal assistant, an office manager, a regional office manager, an insurance salesman, and a computer consultant. I also sold sex toys at home parties for four years.
I briefly helped my cousins in their home-based erotic chocolate business... apparently I was eating up their profits... but it was chocolate, I didn't even wait for it to be poured into molds... and jobs I've worked?... this is what I recall: paper boy, stock boy, sporting goods store salesman, accounts receiving clerk, exterminator, basic trainee (US Army... scary, huh?), EMT, mental hygiene therapist, intermediate care facility program manager, qualified mental retardation professional, home-based publisher, lawn maintenance, unpaid club dancer (hey, volunteer work beefs up a resume), telephone consultant for an internet modeling agency network, computer consultant (in the nineties, when my limited knowledge made me a computer genius... today I know how to turn them on), delivery driver, sorter at a recycling plant, industrial strength cleaner (who wants to ride my buffer?), all-purpose boy for a building maintenance and cleaning company, professional bum (twice: beach and street), carnival clown, security, roadie, mental health technician (wanna play with my tools?), Mr. Mom, and nanny... so far...
51. Ive only fainted once and it was because I put my waist length hair in a pony tail that was too tight.
I just loosened my pony tail...

never fainted, but I've fallen down a few times...
52. Ive been knocked out twice once by a man because I came between his fist and his intended target, and once by a woman who kicked me in the head with a well placed savatte kick when she thought I was trying to mess with her husband (I wasnt, he was - she should have kicked HIM).
ouch... if I wasn't already falling down drunk, I might have been knocked out once just outside of Boston... apparently the guy did not like his sister sitting on my lap and decided I was easier to knock down than his sister... I've woken up in some very odd places with very little recollection of how I happened to be there... under someone's parents bed comes to mind... the odd part were her parents had gotten home while I was, ummm, sleeping, and they were hard at work trying to create a sister or brother for my friend... they never would have known I was there if a spring didn't pop into my belly and cause a rather loud burp... I pretended I was still passed out and they went to another room... it was never mentioned, except when my friend wanted to know how I knew her mom had a heart shaped beauty mark on her left cheek... we had a good laugh...
53. Nudity didn't stop embarrassing me until I was 16.
I don't know if nudity ever embarrassed me except for a tear or two at camp when a hundred boys were supposed to all get changed in this small locker room and comparative analysis of body mass and genitals was all the rage and I was a chubby shy kid at the time... it was an odd year or few as I was quite comfortable rolling around naked in nursery school... as puberty rolled around I became a runner and cyclist and liked my body a lot better... now I can be a happy nudist...
54. Ive been married three times, but just once Id like to be married for real. Not because I have to, or because its responsible, or because its convenient.
that's why I haven't been married, because I won't do it for any other reason than true love... though I might consider it for some good chocolate...
55. Ive never had a real wedding.
same goes for me, kinda obviously... though I did have a pretty real Sweet Sixteen... and I even had a Bar Mitzvah... the church wouldn't confirm me, but then fed me a wafer...
56. Id like to work because I want to. Not because I have to, or because the boyfriend/husband lays a guilt trip on me for wanting to try something else, or because if I dont pay half the household expenses hell kick me out.
yeah, being that financially comfortable again would be nice... something you love to do is not work, but having to do it for survival money takes a lot of the fun out of it... I hope 2006 is the year you find yourself some bliss again...
57. I used to fall in love easily.
I still do... way too easily... not as easily as I used to though, I think... at least Ive gotten good at avoiding the possibility in recent years... I'm going for my Ph.D. in Hermitology...
58. I dont fall out of love easily, but hold the feelings long after the relationship is gone.
forever, period...

I am quite incorrigible... and until the day this body ceases to function I shall tell anyone who'll listen in rhymes and rambling prose that love is forever or it isn't love... I live in love, forever falling, forever hearing my lover calling, from deep in my heart she is always a part of my dreams and my schemes for all time... now if only she'd show up and help me continue this rhyme...
59. When the feelings are finally gone.theyre gone. I never look back.
I have eyes in the back of my head... my feelings are never gone, they just get written into volumous texts and set somewhere on a shelf for sharing with the one who will not leave (or at least the next one who comes along)... honesty is such a lonely word...
60. Mutual respect is the #1 item on my list of gotta haves.
yes, and a balance between respect for each other and respect for self, which is so lacking in most people I meet (or it's posing somehow as defensive false pride)... the relationship is an entity, a living breathing life, there is no individual selfishness anymore, every thought is of mutual pleasure, mutual satisfaction, mutual benefit... and mutual respect...
61. I love the taste of raw potatoes and salt, Hi-Ho crackers with peanut butter and grape jelly, and fresh strawberries with amaretto and cream.
the crackers with peanut butter and jelly (Ritz or Hi-Ho)... cream cheese and grape jelly too, even more than peanut butter, perhaps... no licorice flavor for me, thanks... and do you peel your potatoes? (I still prefer mine fried, peeled or not)...
62. The color blue is my favorite, but my home is butter cream, warm browns, apricot, aubergine, gold and khaki.
a bright royal blue was always my favorite color... three walls in my bedroom used to be a very light royal and one wall next to my bed, and deep royal blue... my apartment is white, apartment white, it's a sanitarium, except it's not clean... so i close my eyes and watch my world unfold before me (my world has lots of rainbows)...


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