LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
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bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-07-23 - 3:37 a.m.

and you're the only one who knows...


who that might be is, perhaps, the great unknown, the universal entity often called god (or God) or possibly some character from an new old story that has yet to be written (or at least yet to be published) by some writer I've never met (or read) or even a memory lost somewhere within my own mind (someone like you?)...

and perhaps we've yet to remember meeting, or we've forgotten, deliberately or not, if we ever did (there is one theory of reality that says everything that can possibly happen has already happened and what we call life is merely the momentary arrangement of events as we experience and perceive (and create) them today, but that might or may not be the truth and who knows, after all, you?)... are you following any of this?...

or that, for that matter?...

anyway, speaking of stuff (as I might have been in the previous entry if you read through all the emotional mush), once upon a time I shared life with someone who loved to watch MacGyver, so I learned to love the perception of cleverness and mischeif that the character portrayed (or conveyed)... a time long before the likes of Mountain Dew Code Red... a time when most of my creativity was on hold and most of my conformity was fed and monetary (and typical cultural) success was my crowning achievement... and during this time I accumulated much stuff (in the immortal usage of the word re-coined by George Carlin another once upon a time)...

and just when we might have thought everything was lost, I remember that we can always laugh (I hope) and when all else fails (or anytime, I hope again) ask George (and the true irony of all rebellions and aimless angst or ethical pathos might very well be found in and on the price tags tied to the caprecious Carlin who finally found a place (and a price) for all of his stuff...

anyway, while searching for a link to a the text of a certain bit of babble that would perhaps enhance (or add depth to or at least amuse or confuse) this entry, I wrote this:

Hi webmaster of carlinstuff.com (insert smiley here)

I am sending some moral (or immoral, as you please) support for your time and energy (and work, if you call it such) on the carlinstuff website (which I found through a search engine) just because I selfishly want it to continue... well, maybe also for some altruistic reason like your efforts improve the world somehow, but that's some subconscious shit I don't much think about often anymore... maybe that will change when Jesus brings the pork chops...

ironically (or not), I stumbled across your carlinstuff site while I was looking for the text of the bit Carlin did about stuff (a text I've still not found and that is not very satisfying to my modern inner child who bows to the god of instant gratification, but the devil, as usual, is always spreading that evil maturity around so my inner child is always threatened, even if he is oblivious to the matter most of the time)...

anyway, I was writing a typically meandering (and potentially monumentally meaningless) entry in one of my online diaries under the influence of Carlin when I decided I needed a link to the text of Carlin's bit about stuff and went searching for it, which, as I attempted to convey a minute ago, brings us here... scanning your words I came across your request for 10 emails in 2002, a blurb which must have been written during a time of neglect and I felt pity for you, I mean just wanted to thank you for all the good works you've done...

sincerendipitously, me

PS... you are lucky you are not George Carlin, he would probably be beside himself if you were...

and that's the email inspired by and sent to the webmaster of the, well, that should be obvious if you read it... you did just read it, right?... anyway, the text I was searching for to link to the word stuff simply to emphasize the relative irreverence of the concept in my mind is the third track on this CD which is a smattering of some of George's genius (which is good ways connects with John Lennon's genius, in my mind, but then, that's my mind we're talking about so perhaps the connections are not as obvious to you or others... George is rather clever and insightful and possibly even phrophetic (though sometimes I hope not) and if you agree, you may be bipolar too (stationary is boring) and well, take it from this guy, we're not alone (I think)...

but I don't think he was the one I was referring to earlier, if there is one, or only one, or something or anything or whatever... you must remember this, even if you don't...

moving right along and bringing the rioty (or do I mean irony, he asks rhetorically) full circle, I find another old friend I never met (seems to be a pattern or something, huh?) who may have sent me the email that woke me from my latest bout of sleepwalking today (which would be yesterday in entry timeline) listed among the sites brought to me while searching for the text of the George Carlin bit about stuff I mentioned earlier...

so anyway, as I was saying (or writing, to be more precise), I was watching MacGyver earlier which nudged forward the memories of the dear person I shared life with once upon a time and behind that memory was the stuff that seemed to ask to be thought about as I emerged from my recent hibernation in the email I wrote yesterday in response to concern about me which I took to respond to in a rather abstract manner, sort of... it was during those curiously domestic and rather sedentary years of material success and creative starvation that I accumulated much stuff... CDs, vinyl records, tapes, videos, books, magazines, toys, games, clothes, electronics, musical instruments, and more stuff... some of the stuff meant a great deal to me, especially the words and music I created or compiled...

creating tapes (now we'd call them mix CDs) was one of the most important creative experiences I found in this life... missing those soundtracks of this life is a profound loss, not having the library of music to create more mixes is an emptiness that I have not found means to express, a depressive feeling powerful enough to keep me from working for the financial means of replacing the library of music (nothing that a few tens of thousands of dollars could do in a few long days of ordering CDs... though sadly, much of the vinyl is not available on CD yet)... so much stuff missing or lost, and still I've yet to count the cost...

so all that stuff was boxed and put into storage almost ten years ago and I've been paying for storage every month since then... foolish, perhaps, as much of the stuff is probably useless (like once expensive top of the line appliances) and I probably could have replaced most if not all of the stuff with the payments I've made over the years... what, $130 a month until last year when it ewent up to $140 a month (yes, it's a big storage space)... $1560 a year for ten years... $15600, back then that was about my spending money for a music budget for a year... now that might be total net salary for a whole year... less pressure, less stuff, which makes the stuff in storage all the more valuable to me cuz it's not replaceable at the moment... and that's a lot of CDs and stuff (though the vinyl records, if they are still playable, are not replaceable... nor are the home-made tapes, again if they are still playable... or the writings on computer disks... or the writings on paper... or the memories...

whaaaa waaaaa waaa, just go get it, right?...

ah, now I see the connection in my sleepy mind... need a means to the end... a few thousand to rent a truck and transport the stuff down here... the thread of reason in my brain suddenly makes sense, to me at least... far be it for me to get to the thought directly though, that would be too easy... and far be it for me to ask anyone for anything cuz that would mean trusting and depending and every time I did that before, it ended with loss of stuff and rip off and depressing betrayals and loss of faith in humans and myself... risk it again?... I suppose, if I want the stuff...

and when I wake with hope and appreciation for life and you who share it with me, when I wake with a belief in myself that my being and thoughts and feelings and creativity is valued, missed, and worth sharing as I did a moment or two in the email response included in yesterday's entry, I believe the storage costs are well worth it for the stuff in storage has more value than money can afford... and I dream someday someone will sort through those many boxes of memories with me... putting old war horses and demons and wonderful dreams to bed and starting some new wonders to share... make it like a memory, you know... and you may be the only one, whomever you may be, and so it goes...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
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tell others
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get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

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(for a while, now on page 3 5)




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